The Porcelain Tiger
by Cookirini
Summary: A destiny of fear. A man with dark intentions. A conspiracy of pure evil. A world's fate on the balance. The day could be worse for Hobbes on second thought, with Calvin now involved, we know it is. Complete.
1. Disclaimer

**__**

Disclaimer

I shall set the record straight - this is not my original idea. The original idea of Hobbes as a government agents is that of Calvin Potterson of FF.Net. On the other hand, aside from the introduction, the execution of the story is all of my own imagination.

This is the story of the secret past of a stuffed tiger…..and how one little boy, his best friend, became his companion. It is also the story of how a sinister plot threatened to destroy them, and many others. But most of all, it is about **love.**

Sort of.

Kind of.

….Actually……..I think it best to leave you to read and decide upon your own. 

And so, adieu. 

__

-Cookirini


	2. Introduction

****

The Porcelain Tiger

  
_It seemingly started out a normal day outside of the halls of power. _

The grand, historical city of Washington D.C., capitol of the United States of America, sparkled like a jewel as the summer sun rose onto it. All over the city, signs of its greatness, and its richness, shimmered in the light. From the Washington Monument, down into the Reflection Pool, onto the black marble of the Vietnam Memorial, and into the cavernous shadows of the Lincoln Memorial, sun began to creep into every nook and cranny of the country's most revered monuments and buildings.

There was more to do than to just visit monuments. The Potomac River was already filled with early swimmers. The line to each section of the Smithsonian Institution in regards to its newest exhibits was already starting to form. The Japanese cherry blossom trees in the front of the Capitol still held on to its pink splendor, even as summer settled in, with the air becoming humid and hot, and the sound of buzzing bees descending upon those who walked the great Concourse.

Of course, inside the halls of power where America's fate always hung upon the words of several aged men, there were other matters to attend to that were not by any means recreational.

"Mr. President, we must speak with you."

The windows of the Oval Office were suddenly shuttered as two pale-skinned men - both in the late stages of middle age - turned towards the walnut desk. The blue chair was turned towards the door, its seated occupant, the most powerful man in the world, sat with his head in his hands and his elbows on the table.

"We apologize for bringing you out of your vacation on such short notice, particularly since Congress is not in session for the next two weeks." One of the men, tall, slightly built, yet old and bespeckled, produced a manila envelope. "But we felt it urgent for you to be notified of our new situation."

"Mr. Secretary…" The seated man rubbed his eyes as he spoke in a Southern drawl. "I understand the situation in Iraq has gotten worse. Our boys are dying. If it's about that, I think it can wait a few hours because I know already."

"On the contrary…" The man looked at his partner. "We believe we have found a solution to the problem in Iraq."

"A solution?"

The man picked up the envelope with a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. Slowly, he opened it. Several papers, and a picture, fell out as he did this. His eyebrows rising quizzically, he picked up several of the papers, scanning them over.

"**ИСПЫТАНИЕ 46351. В отношении Тигра Фарфора, мы надеемся сотрудничать в этом усилии в надеждах относительно дестабилизации Советского Союза и помогать этому в его крахе....._"_**

"I don't enjoy jokes, Don. You know this." The president rubbed his eyes. "Mr. Secretary, why am I being made to read Klingon?"

"….Mr. President…." The other man, shorter and fatter than his companion, looked at the president almost amusingly. "Its not Klingon."

"Very well. Why am I being made to read this gibberish?"

"This 'gibberish' is Russian." The president stopped at the secretary's words. "Russian intelligence from over twenty years ago. Several men who were double agents - secretly defected to us, but made themselves look like they still worked for the Kremlin - gave us the idea to assassinate Premier Leonid Brezhnev in his final days of office back in the fall of 1982. So we began work to get rid of him so that the USSR could collapse within itself; there was no reason to believe that the USSR was not on the brink of collapse back then, as it was in 1991."

"…What?!?_"_

"Is something the matter?"

"I thought…." The president looked at the two men in surprise. "I thought we had a ban on state sponsored assassinations back then! I repealed it, remember?"

"…Oh…..well….." The men looked at each other and shrugged. "Just consider it plausible, or even full, deniability. This discussion is not to leave the room anyways, so no one ever has to know that we knew that we were ever trying to kill anyone."

"….Riiight…."

"Anyways," The shorter man, Vice President Dick Cheney, continued. "The men decided upon a unique solution to the problem; with the help of these men, NIMH and members of the team that eventually broke the human genome, the CIA created a genetically engineered soldier……from a Siberian tiger cub. It being one of the rarest species in the world, they figured that the Communist Party would not consider a special, rare animal such as that a government-trained killer." 

"So for two years," the secretary, who happened to be the Secretary of Defense, continued. "the cub was subjected to various research experiments and genetic changes. His DNA, his brain patterns, his physical attributes, everything was taken into consideration and modified….perfected. Soon, we found we had the perfect killer."

"Codenamed Porcelain Tiger, it had all of the physical attributes of his tiger brethren, only stronger. However, it was also gifted with almost perfect bipedal movement, and it could speak as a human could. It was versed in at least six languages; it could sniper shoot from five hundred feet without the help of any lens modifications, with a margin of error of less than 0.0000000000000000000000472%."

"This sounds like a science fiction movie, gentlemen-"

"And that is not the best part, Mr. President." The Secretary of Defense held up the photo. "Not only_ that, but Porcelain Tiger had a very masterful trick up it's sleeve. It was a master of disguise that portrayed a unique illusion of its own reality; anyone who did not know of his mission, or of its purpose, would not see Porcelain Tiger as it really was. They would see a harmless stuffed tiger doll."_

"….Let me guess…." The president gave a crooked smile. "It cost six million dollars?"

"…Not quite, Mr. President." The two men shook their heads. "The rates have gone up."

"Well," The president twiddled his thumbs. "How would this help us?"

"Quite simple, Mr. President." The Secretary of Defense crossed his arms. "Our original plan with the Porcelain Tiger was to hand it to the child of a Russian Communist Party leader, and have it do its job in disguise. If we unleash Porcelain Tiger onto Iraq the same way, it would be able to pursue and capture the renegade Baath Party leaders. Those who refused to surrender would be terminated. It could save many lives in the long run, Mr. President."

The president stroked his chin thoughtfully. For several moments, there was no talking in the darkened Oval Office, and silence save for the president's fingers tapping on his desk.

"….Very well!" The president snapped his fingers. "Activate Porcelain Tiger immediately!"

"…That's a problem, sir."

"……What do you mean, 'a problem'?"

"….It escaped, sir."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It escaped over fifteen years ago, Mr. President."

"WHAT?" The president jumped up in reproachful surprise, his voice squeaking. "Escaped?!"

"I'm afraid so." The Vice President began to pace. "You see, it had been endowed with a strong sense of paranoia, and it may have gotten the best of Porcelain Tiger. It broke out of a high-level laboratory, destroyed the security they put after it, managed to take out all of the tracking bugs we had on it, and…..simply vanished. The CIA hasn't been able to find him for over fifteen years."

"If this thing is gone, then what's the point of bringing this up?"

"We believed we have found him." Another photo was laid upon the president's desk. The president's eyes widened. "We have found him, and we will bring him back into our fold….."


	3. Chapter 1

**I**

  
  
  
  
"HOOOOOOOOBBES!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The summer sun got into the angry eyes of the little blonde boy as he gave chase through the trees. In his arms were two sticks.  
  
"Come on!!!" He gave an angry shout. "You're supposed to touch the two trees marked with the red flags and _then_ you go over the hill!"  
"But I have the Flag of Exemptness!"  
  
Up the hill came a pair of black ears. Then, slowly, two beady, yet kindly, black eyes, an orange and black striped face, a tall, thin tiger body, two tiger arms - one holding a white flag - and a wagging tail. Then, two white feet emerged, completing the figure of Hobbes, tiger extraordinaire.   
  
"As long as I have the Flag of Exemptness, I am exempt from touching the two trees." Hobbes smiled. "So, I can go over the hill."  
"But if I touch your left arm with my longer stick….like _this_," and as he spoke, the boy poked Hobbes in his left arm. "The rules of Calvinball state that you must go and touch the flag up at the top of the tree house before I tag you!"  
"Very well! But remember….." Hobbes grinned even wider. "You'll have to recite _the poem_ if you want to get up there to catch me!"  
"DOH!!!"  
  
And so, a chase gave way once more. They were two friends, almost like soul mates, chasing each other in an eternal game of fancy and make-up. On top of it - and perhaps this was their main motivation for playing - there was nothing in it for them but the prospect of getting as dirty as possible before going inside for dinner. It was their life; that, and reading comic books, among many other things.  
  
"Awwww!!!" Calvin, who was unable to catch up to Hobbes, could only sulk as Hobbes hoisted the ladder just out of his reach. "Come on! Let me come up there this once!"  
"Nuh uuuuuuuh….." Hobbes stuck his tongue out. "You have to recite _the poem_ first!"  
"I don't want to!!!!" Calvin growled. "I always have to say the poem! Why can't you just let me up this one time?!"  
"Its against G.R.O.S.S. policy."  
"Well, someone's going to start seeing demerits for not letting me up there!" Calvin started to shout angrily. "I'm dictator-for-life! I won't let the president push me around like this….."  
  
  
_"Well," the figure turned to face the other direction towards the windows. "The president is the only thing which keeps your precious dream alive with the funding. So you'll do whatever is ordered of you!"_  
  
  
"…..**HOBBES!!!!!!!!**"  
"Buh?!?"  
  
Hobbes blinked. For a moment, his thoughts had suddenly drifted off at Calvin's shouting, and something else had supplanted. He blinked again, and Calvin's reddened face returned. Whatever it was had only lasted for a split second. However, it put the tiger off guard for a moment.  
  
"….Oooooh, you're going to get it now!!!" Calvin looked up towards Hobbes and snarled. "Hey! ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?!?!?"  
"……….Look who's talking about paying attention!" Hobbes suddenly remembered what was going on in the confusion. "And besides, how can you give me demerits when I've got the logbook?"  
"**YOU WOULDN'T DARE!!!!!**"  
"Hmmm…." Instantly, Hobbes was on the book, taking a pencil in his hand. "Let's see……what should I say about Calvin's resignation of his dictator-for-life position…"  
  
His tail swung excitedly as Hobbes pretended to scribble words down on the paper. As he did, however, the tail then swung into the bunched up ladder, flinging it out of the treehouse and down to Calvin.  
  
"HAHAHA!" As soon as it hit the ground, the boy was on the ladder. "NOW I WILL GET YOU! PREPARE FOR DEMERITING, TRAITOR!!!"  
  
------------------------  
  
"Is this the house?"  
"Yes."  
  
The black, unmarked car silently parked across the street from the large, white, two-story suburbanite house. In the front seats, two men, both dressed in black suits and ties, silently turned to each other.  
  
"I wonder what's so incredible about this kid and his toy," the passenger of the car, a clean-shaven young man, took off his sunglasses. "You honestly think this tiger is of such national importance?"  
"Well," The driver, a mustached man, took out a small book. "Callous told us it was of a high priority - Category 1. You know what's inside that supposedly harmless tiger? A bonafide murderer."  
"You really believe what he said?"  
"He's working in confidence with the president and the Joint Chiefs of Staff," the driver licked his finger to separate the book pages. "We have no choice but to follow orders. Besides, it gets us out of Washington, at least. I need a vacation."  
"Yeah, but this is just too easy - it _is_ a vacation!" The clean shaven man shook his head. "How did you find this place if this is such an important government project?"  
"Oh, well….." The driver put the book down. "I called 411. Operator seemed more than happy to give me the address and number of the kid's place when I told her I was in the FBI."  
"….Wonder what's so big about this kid." The passenger wiped his brow. "Everyone seemed happy to point us towards this kid's house, weren't they, Max?"  
"Yeah….." The mustached man looked up at the house. He could see a small figure climbing up into a pile of boards in a tree in the back yard. "Just a little…"  
  
--------------------  
  
"…..And twenty demerits for trying to distort the logs for personal gain!" Calvin glared at Hobbes as he scribbled lines into the notebook. "And ten extra demerits for tricking me into believing that's what you were really doing! You won't even be an assistant assistant assistant _assistant_ toilet scrubber when I'm finished with you!!!!"  
"Hold on!" Hobbes jumped up. "You can't do that!"  
"Oh yeah?" Calvin snarled. "Says who?!"  
"….The rules of Calvinball!"   
"Buh?!"  
"We are playing Calvinball." Hobbes waved his hands. "So nothing I do can count towards demerits because its not official G.R.O.S.S. business!"  
"Since when do the rules of Calvinball apply to G.R.O.S.S. policy?!?"  
"Since I did…..THIS!"  
  
Before Calvin could react, Hobbes suddenly snatched the logbook from his hands. With a fantastic leap and a roar of delight, the tiger jumped straight from the clubhouse into a tree on the other side of the yard. With another leap, he then leaped from that tree into the thicket that separated the yard from the forest beyond and disappeared.  
  
"HEY!!!!!!!!!!!" Calvin was screaming as he climbed out of the tree the next incident. "**GIVE THAT BACK!!!!!!!! TRAITOR!!!!!!!**"  
  
The young boy was almost flying across the yard. With a definitive war yodel, he crashed into thicket, emerging from it completely dirty. He ran around, his eyes wild with rage.  
  
"HOBBES! HOBBES!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBES!!!!!!!!"  
  
_Hang on a moment!_ Suddenly, Calvin stopped. He looked around confusedly. _Call me stupid, but something is sooooo not right with that mashed potato-faced cretin lately. I don't recall him being able to leap _that_ far! Those two trees are something like a million miles apart!_  
  
"Yoohoo!" Calvin looked up at the call; from his tree branch, Hobbes waved and grinned. "How's the weather down there?"  
"WHY YOU….!!!!!!" Calvin grit his teeth. "COME DOWN HERE!!!!!"  
"Nooope!"  
"Grrrrrr!" Calvin pointed towards the tiger. "You are SO in trouble when I get that back! On top of all you've done today, you've compromised the security of G.R.O.S.S.!! What have you got to say for yourself?!"  
  
  
"_You don't understand!" The silhouette's voice sounded desperate. "What we are doing is wrong! I had no choice but to follow my principles!_"  
  
  
"……WELL?!?!?"  
"….Eh?" Hobbes looked at Calvin. "Um…..huh?"  
"…..I think we need to change your cereal, buster." Calvin frowned angrily. "That bran stuff is giving you psychological damage. The pencil shavings must be stabbing your brain or something."  
"Uh….." Hobbes scratched his head. "What are you talking about?"  
"What am I talking about?!" Calvin waved his hands. "You've been acting weird, that's what! One minute you're jumping five million feet, the next you stare out in space like some twenty-eyed alien reject from the planet Zergia! What is _wrong_ with you?!"  
"Well……"  
  
Hobbes looked around for a moment before climbing down the tree. His face looked slightly confused, and he looked at Calvin with a bit of certainty.  
  
"I must ask you if you have ever felt confused in your life."  
"Oh, sure!" Calvin crimped an eye. "_Plenty_ of times!"  
"No…. I don't mean math homework confused."  
"Not math homework confused?" Calvin looked at Hobbes. "Then is it meaning of life confused, then?"  
"…..No……not even that." Hobbes rubbed his head. "I mean……my thoughts are just…..confused in a confused way."  
"…..Not only did I not know that there was more than the normal two types of confusion…." Calvin, at this point, started to climb on a log. "I think you've confused me with the new confusion."  
"Well, its very weird." Hobbes followed suit. "One moment, I'll be with you, doing something, and the next…..I'm suddenly somewhere else with people talking about things I have little comprehension of. Its like…..in a sort of a disembodied way separate from the action, only its as if there was a reason for me to be there, thought I don't know why I'm there. Its kind of hazy, seemingly pointless, and makes no sense…..like soap operas and reality shows. And yet I can't help but wonder what they mean."  
"So….." Calvin leaped off of the log. "They're like visions of something?"  
"Yeah…..visions."  
"…………..Well………"  
"Well?"  
"…….I seriously think you're nuts."  
"I'm being serious!" Hobbes protested as he followed Calvin. "Its got me really worried. I used to never have sporadic flashes of weird stuff like this before, and now I've got them every day."  
"Maybe your mind's telling you something." Calvin picked up a stick. "I remember this one time when I started to weird things flash in front of my eyes. It was weird shapes and stuff, really bright and stuff."  
"Really?" Hobbes followed still, his hands behind his back. "What was your mind telling you?"  
"….That Mom used the flash bulb on the camera." Calvin waved the stick around. "That's all."  
"That's fine and dandy, but what does your mom's camera have to do with what I'm going through? I don't think it has to do with what _I'm_ going through."  
"Um…..well…..maybe your brains trying to tell you about something that you should be seeing or something; maybe its something your mind saw and its trying to tell you about it." Calvin shrugged. "I don't know! How am I supposed to know?! I don't know anything about what you might have forgotten to do. What's the point of pondering?!"  
"….I dunno…." Hobbes scratched his head as he went along. "….Well….actually….maybe I _did_ forget to do something. I don't remember anything like what I keep seeing before meeting you. Your mom and dad finding me is pretty much as far back as I go, you know."  
"….Because of me, right?"  
"Of course because of you." Hobbes did a skip. "My brain probably wouldn't have a reason to keep things in it without you. Not that _all_ of the things I've witnessed are worth remembe-DOOF!!!!!!"  
  
Hobbes' foot suddenly met a thick tree root. The journal suddenly went flying from his hands, disappearing over one of the trees.  
  
"Hobbes!!!!"  
"Oh no!" Hobbes swerved around. "I lost the log!"  
"AAARGH!!!!!" Instantly, Calvin was running in the direction of the book. "YOU STUPID DOO DOO HEAD! That log is TOP SECRET! Do you even know what would happen if Susie read it?!?!"  
"Speaking of which," Hobbes stood up to run after Calvin. "I wouldn't mind Susie being here now. Maybe you'd stop yelling at me then."  
"Oh, shut _up_!!!!"  
  
Calvin nearly leaped into a stream trying to catch the book. He cursed to himself as the book, papers flying, the covers wind swept, flew flap open in a bush.   
  
"That no good tiger!" He almost stomped across the water, glaring back to the animal whom was just getting to the stream. "I don't even know why I bother with him sometimes. He's acting so weird! Whatever happened to graceful agility and all that jazz?! Its like he forgot which foot goes out fir-GAH!!!"  
  
The boy instantly felt himself lose his balance as his left foot accidentally misplaced itself in front of his right. He gave a shout, and shut his eyes, knowing full well that he would not be able to regain his balance.

***WHAM!***

  
  
Calvin fell into a pile of mud. It oozed all over him as he cursed. The book was only inches from his hands, and he sludged his whole front side in a lunge to get it.  
  
"Must…..save…….!!!!"  
  
His hands were just micrometers away when the book was suddenly swiped up. The lunge was not only unsuccessful, but Calvin ended up with his face in the dirt.  
  
"BLUUUUURGHLE!!!"  
"Ooooh! Calvin!" Hobbes was instantly next to him. "You got all dirty!"  
"BLAARGH!" Calvin's mud-caked face flew up and glared at him. "You _JUST_ noticed that, huh?!?!? You weirdo!"  
"Well, did you get the book!"  
"No I didn't!" Calvin growled. "I thought you got it!"  
"I didn't get it."  
"Then….it jumped up and ran or something!" Calvin's eyes bugged out. "Oh no! What if…..what if Susie sees it? Or worse, Mom?!?"  
"….Books don't just jump up and run."  
"Yeah, and my mom says they don't just cross the street, either." Calvin sarcastically replied. "Now go and find that book!"  
"Ok…"  
"Hold it."  
  
Hobbes suddenly ran into a leg as he started running. Soon he, too, was sitting in the mud, looking up towards the sky.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to be looking for _this_….." In the man's hand was a book with 'G.R.O.S.S.' scribbled on it. "….right, Calvin?"  
  
Calvin's eyes widened as he looked up towards the black suit that stood over them and the mudpile. It was a mustached man, dressed in a black three piece, and he was looking down at him. He had short, dark, slicked back hair, and sunglasses. This last item he took off, his brown eyes looking down onto Calvin with a look of obvious look of recognition in his eyes.  
  
"….Well…." He spoke. "Looks like I'm in the right place."  
  
Calvin's eyes widened. He gave a gasp and jumped up. The mud splashed over onto the man's suit, though if there was any discontent there was none in the suited man's reaction. In fact, the man knew Calvin very well.  
  
"No way….." Both Calvin and Hobbes not only knew who he was; he was also the last man on earth they had ever expected to see again. "UNCLE MAX!!!!!!!"  
  



	4. Chapter 2

****

II

Clack. Clack. Clack.  
  
Snap.  
  
It was going to be a long day, the man knew, as the pen snapped in his hands. Very long indeed; only three hours had passed since the orders of the president reached his ears, yet each minute crawled by so slow that he could only wish to scream.  
  
It won't be long now……..it won't be…….  
  
They phone call that morning was one he had always longed to hear; they had been the orders he had vainly begged to have, only for the men upstairs to finally listen and comply nearly two decades later. Of course, his current position allowed him to have some say over what the elephant-eared buffoon down on the Avenue, unlike before, when he was simply a lowly yes man. Now, though, he was the boss, and what he said went. Sort of. Being the deputy director of the Central Intelligence Agency's deputy had a few down sides to it.  
  
***BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**  
  
He nearly jumped at the sound of his desk comlink; he calmed himself down before he answered. After all, he knew what the subject was to be.  
  
"Yes, Margot?" His deep, smooth, Bostonian-accented voice exerted outward calm as he pressed the button. "What is it?"  
"**Sir, a Mr. Lynx is on the phone. He says it is urgent.**"  
"Put him through onto my personal phone."  
  
He stood up straight and adjusted his navy blue Armani suit; for a fifty-seven year old with his job history, he had the looks and charms of men half his age. He took good care of himself, and came from a good family, and he made sure it showed. To his men, he was the local football hero, a man who could do no wrong. He was a man handsome enough to get on the cover of People, yet smart enough to graduate from MIT with double doctorates. He was a clean, spotless man with such bureaucratic zeal that could run for higher government offices and get things done._ And most important of all, all of it was true. And this man had his sights on a certain office in particular; he would be announcing his bid in less than two weeks.  
  
Of course, there were always a few wrinkles to iron out. He picked the phone up as soon as it rang.  
  
"Arthur Callous speaking."  
"**Hello, sir.**" His whispering voice came through the receiver. "**This is Sow Sage Lynx, reporting in from the field**."  
"Give me news, Max."  
"**Sir, we've got him.**"  
"You have him?" There was a definitive tinge of excitement in Callous' voice as he spoke. "That easy?"  
"**Sir, I told you. The kid he's bunked with is the type that would wet his bed and sell his soul for the chance to even think of going with us.**"  
"In other words, a stupid brat."  
"**Well…..**" There was a pause. "**I wouldn't necessarily lump him into that group. He's…….a bit volatile, so to speak."**  
"….._Volatile?_" Callous blinked. "What the hell do you mean?"  
"**Trust me, sir, if he even so much as suspects that there's anything he won't like, it'll be like Godzilla in Tokyo.**"  
"I thought that was a normal day for them," Callous gave a smooth laugh. "Look, just get them here and my men will handle them from tha-"  
"**Ack!**" The voice on the other hand squeaked. "**Look, sir, I'm sorry, but I have to go. The kid is trying to break my car windows with rocks!**"  
  
With that, there was a click, then a dial tone. With a chuckle, Callous hung the phone.  
  
"Ah, yes……" He stretched. "This will be my lucky day indeed….."_  
  
-------------------  
  
"WHEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
Max looked at his partner as he drove down the highway. The poor man's face was completely pale as he changed lanes, and he looked ready to be sick. Behind them, there was insane giggling.  
  
"I told you so, Stan." Max gave a sly grin as he crossed his arms. "There's no one like him."  
"Thank _God_," Stan took a deep breath. "And the crux is that _you're_ so calm about it!"  
"Lets just say that I've become desensitized to the experience, Stan."  
"Jesus…." Stan loosened his tie as leaves started to fall on his lap. "How long do we have in this car?"  
  
Max gave a smirk as he turned to the back of the car. There was Calvin, who was standing on the seat behind Stan, and his stuffed tiger friend, Hobbes. Of course, Max no longer saw him as the doll that most saw him as, but rather as the perfect hybrid that could walk, talk, and act human. In that context, Hobbes was reading one of the adult magazines that Max had intentionally put in the back for his subjects' entertainment.  
  
"Hmm!" Hobbes turned a page. "Now, these are _definitely_ fake ones on the page 74 model. But I like the thong color - it's a burgundy-purple-type…"  
"Who cares!" Calvin fingered his nose and plastered it onto the window. "Look at this! I can make gross faces at that driver over there and he can't see me through the tint! And even better, they don't fog up either! I love these windows!"  
"I'm glad you're enjoying it, Calvin," Max snickered. "I guess your parents don't believe in tinted, self-cleaning windows?"  
"Nyaaaaaaah!" Calvin licked the window. "Wow, they even clean themselves! This is so cool, Uncle Max! I didn't know you were a secret agent that worked for the government!"  
"Yup, that's me." Max nodded. "Just don't tell your pa-"  
"Hey!" Calvin bounced in between Max and Stan. "I bet you also have mechanisms in the undercarriage that shoot missiles and stuff at people like James Bond!"  
"Eheheh." Stan began to sweat. "Um…."  
"I wanna see them!" Calvin pointed at a blue Pinto. "Can you blow that one up? It looks like Susie Derkins' mom's car! Hey, I bet it _is_ her car!"  
"Actually, Calvin…." Max slowly and softly pushed Calvin to the back seat. "The missiles on _our_ car are defective, and if we use them, we'll blow up and _die_."  
"Aw, cool!" Calvin wrung his hands together. "But I thought this car couldn't be destroyed…?"  
"It can be destroyed if American missiles hit it."  
"But…."  
"Yes?"  
"…I thought everything was made in Taiwan." Calvin looked genuinely confused. "That's what dad told me….so wouldn't it _not_ destroy the car?"  
  
Stan gave an irritated moan at this; Max simply shrugged.  
  
"Its not always where it was made that counts; it's the principle of who owns it," Max replied. "So _technically_, the missiles are American."  
"….Oh." Calvin turned to Hobbes. "I hate technicalities. They always ruin the funnest parts of stuff."  
"Well…" Stan looked out the window. "I guess what we're going to do is fun."  
"Huh?" Hobbes looked up. "What are we going to do?"  
"We're going to CIA headquarters, champ." Max looked at the speedometer. "We'll be there in about an hour."  
"And we're going to do Secret Service stuff?!? WAY COOL!!!" Calvin jumped up onto the seat. He didn't notice the distant look on Hobbes' face. "Say, how long until we get to where we have our stakeout? Are we there yet?"  
"Well…" Max paused. "We can't have a stakeout until you're initiated."  
"They want to initiate us?!" The car turned off of the highway and onto an exit ramp. "How cool! This will be FUN!!!!"  
  
-----------------  
  
"Uugh!"  
  
The car door opened with a bang, and Calvin and Hobbes both tumbled out, moaning.  
  
"Its about time!" Calvin groaned. "I thought we were going to be in that car FOREVER!"  
"Me too…" Hobbes stretched. "There just wasn't enough room in the back for me."  
"Come on." Gently, Max had them both stand up. "Its time to go in. People are expecting you."  
  
Calvin looked around, nodding his head and rubbing his chin. The building they had been taken to was impressive; it was twenty stories high, and made of a metal he had never seen a building made with before. He gave a whistle.  
  
"This is some top-secret hideout!" He beamed at Hobbes. "What do you think, Hobbes?"  
  
Calvin looked at the tiger, expecting a reply. Instead, Hobbes was looking at the building, his eyebrow furrowed in an expression of complete confusion and befuddlement. He almost had the innate urge to run, run away or around the building, but it escaped him as to why he suddenly wanted to run.  
  
"_Let's go!" There was someone shouting behind him. "Come on! You have to keep up with your times! Come on, _HOBBES!!"  
"GUH!"  
"You mangy furball!" He felt Calvin poking him. "Come on! I want to be initiated!"  
"……I have a bad feeling about this…."  
"Huh?"  
  
  
_"Remember."  
  
There was a flash of lightning across the sky, and the thunder rumbled ever over the blaring sounds and sirens. The building was enveloped in a hazy darkness, one which chilled Hobbes down to his very spine.  
  
"Run." There was a swift, desperate pat. "Run! Get as far away as you can! They mustn't get you! RUN!!!"_  
  
  
"HOBBES!!!"  
  
There was a hard pull on Hobbes' tail, and he was jerked back into reality. His eyes widened, then he blinked a few times.  
  
"Huh….wha…..?!" He turned to Calvin. "What are you _doing_?!"  
"Come _ON!!!_ Calvin tried to pull him towards the building. "Why are you walking in the _other_ direction, you mangy moron?! The spy people are over _this_ way!"  
"Hey!" Hobbes grabbed his tail away and gave a dangerous growl. "Maybe I don't want to go in there. Maybe I see a red flag popping up when I look at this building."  
"WHAT?!" Calvin looked nervously at his uncle before turning back to Hobbes. "H-how could you say that?!"  
"I don't like how this place looks." Hobbes' voice was still low. "Isn't that reason enough for you?"  
"……No." There was dissatisfaction in Calvin's point. "And even so, what's the worst they're going to do if they don't make us spies, probe us?"   
"That wasn't what I wa-"  
"You sissy!" Calvin began to wave his hands. "Even that would be _cool_! It'd be a _learning_ experience for spying! Where's your bravery?!?"  
"….I left it at home." Hobbes went to walk back to the car. "You can go in there and have fun being probed, but as far as I…….yai…….yipe."  
  
Hobbes had looked up to see that Uncle Max's partner had almost inconspicuously opened the flap of his suit as he had begun walking away. It was open for Hobbes to see the shiny, menacing gun in its holster. It was then that Hobbes saw that, whatever the men wanted them for, it was no innocent game.  
  
"Going somewhere, tiger?"  
  
Hobbes felt a surge of energy rise within him, and for one moment, a strange instinct arose from the innermost corners of his confused, scared mind. The instinct was not one of pouncing and scratching to get out of the situation, but methodical espionage and calculating murder. For one moment, Hobbes found himself pondering the many ways he could utterly incapacitate the man while still getting the gun and making the getaway with Calvin with fake IDs and passports. He kept thinking Canada, but it was too close, so his mind shifted to hopping on a plane to Tokyo before routing to Lima. There, they would be on the way to a designated, abandoned safe house in Tierra del Fuego.  
  
"That's so cool!" Calvin, who was obviously ignoring every single warning sign that would have alerted more intelligent and observant children, was once again what brought Hobbes out of his odd line of thought. "Those doors are opening up like on _Star Trek_, only they are becoming transparent!"  
  
The doors, which were actually receding on themselves, slowly opened up to reveal a great, blackened square hole. The shadows were nothing, at least not until the tall figure of a man suddenly appeared.  
  
"…….Wow……"  
  
He was an imposing man as he stepped out of the entrance and into the light. He was tall, with a built body like a football player. His suit was perfectly tailored to his admirably built body, with no sight of any wrinkles. He had small blue eyes, and his hair was dark with only the slightest flecks of silver. His face seemed charming, but looking closer, one could see a strange look of sobriety, almost desperation. It was a gray and silent expression that sat on the man's face, one calm, yet worried.  
  
But all Calvin could see - or rather, was gawking at - was that the man's hair was slicked back in such a way that it was practically sculpted to his head by hair gel. To the boy, the man looked like he had gone swimming before coming to meet them. With a sudden movement, Calvin grabbed the man's leg.  
  
"Looking carefully at the strange new specimen," Calvin began as if the man could not hear him. "Spaceman Spiff investigates the large manservant offering made to him by the Oooglankuu people…"  
  
_DANGER._ The word inexplicably kept flashing from within the depths of Hobbes' mind. _GET OUT OF HERE. GET OUT **NOW**._  
  
"Woah! This is soft stuff!!" Calvin then looked back up at the man. "Say, is it raining in there? Your hair's all wet!"  
"Calvin?" Hobbes whispered to the boy. "I don't like this guy-"  
"So, are you the head of the spies and stuff? Are you going to make us spies like you did my Uncle Max?" Calvin began to pull on the man's pants. "Can we go over to Iraq or Afghanistan and shoot people? Or spy on ugly, slimy girls in a really cool car? Is that why you're recruiting us?!"  
  
The man loomed over Calvin, looking at him with an almost disdainful look as he shook him off of his leg. Then, with an even more disdained look, he glanced over towards the agents.  
  
"Left the CIA building two hours ago, Lynx. And I've been waiting for you for an hour. You're late." The man looked up at Max. "Is this the boy?"  
"Yes, sir." Max suddenly looked nervous. "My nephew, sir."  
".....Charming child." The man looked down again. "And he has...."  
  
At the sight of Hobbes, the man's demeanor, his entire face, suddenly changed. His face was no longer gray and ashen; it suddenly lit up with a strange, almost hungry look in the eyes, almost like a mask.  
  
".....Porcelain Tiger......"  
"Huh?"  
  
Calvin looked at Hobbes in confusion. The tiger's face was filled with fear, but it was obvious that not even Hobbes could get why he was so frightened.  
  
"Umm......"  
  
Hobbes instinctively stiffened more when the man suddenly bent down to his level. Looking straight into the older man's hungry eyes which now glared at him, Hobbes knew that this trip was going to turn out very poorly, just as he had suspected the moment he saw the building.  
  
"......Agent Porcelain Tiger." There was a warmth, though not a comforting warmth, in the man's tone. "At last. Welcome home."   
  
----------------  
  
"There they go...."  
  
Max watched silently as Callous led Calvin and Hobbes into the glittering building. Calvin was jumping up and down with obvious joy; Hobbes' shoulders were slumped and worried. Max's head went down as the doors, ominous and dark, reappeared in front of the three, enclosing them within the compound.  
  
"So this is it...."  
"Stan...." Max looked over at his partner worriedly. "Do you know how angry I am right now? I have to give up my _nephew_ to him. Who knows what he'll do now that he has Porcelain Tiger back?"  
"Well, maybe its not _all_ bad...."  
  
The chuckle in Stan's throat died at Max's glare. There was an uneasy silence after this.  
  
".....Well...." Stan broke it once more. "Have you got the passports?"  
"We leave after we report in."  
"Right, right." Stan fished for some quarters. "Well, do you want to call him, or do I?"  
"You call him."  
"Right."  
"And then, to Austrailia."  
"Nice." With that, Stan walked to the car. "When you stop gawking we'll get to the pay phone, right?"  
"Sure......"  
  
Max looked at the building one last time, a look of worry set deep in his eyes. He couldn't believe what he had just done; he had given his nephew up to a man whose motives were still unclear to the world. What was worse, there was nothing he could do; that car ride would be the last time he ever saw Calvin.  
  
"Good bye...." Max turned away from the building. "And......good luck."  



	5. Chapter 3

****

III

It was a slow day on the monitors for the agents.  
  
"Log code, 18372-46." The slow, silent voice of a young man, no older than his late twenties, began to speak into the monitors. "We are watching the outside of the building, and we see no movements insi-"  
"Blow something, Joe." A girl, who was the same age as the male, was putting on dark lipstick. "Like there's anything interesting going on."  
  
The male gave his female companion a look. They were inside a black Range Rover, one conveniently parked across the street from the main headquarters of the Central Intelligence Agency. They were a scant several blocks from the White House, and from their own building, one whose name they wished to keep secret from those inside the CIA.  
  
"What I would give," The girl finished applying her makeup, "for a good screw. With a dark haired Spanish man, away from this crummy assignment."  
"What?" This time, the man gave a sneer. "Haven't had ass in a while?"  
"Shut the hell up."  
"Must suck to be you." The man gave a stretch. "And then you turn around and want me to blow something. I have a girlfriend, thank you very…..eh?"  
  
The male suddenly broke his stretch and stared at the screen in front of him. There was a light over the monitor, and it was flashing abruptly.  
  
"Holy…!" He quickly took out a small communicator and clicked it on. "Sorry, Sarge, we were looking at some suspect movement-."  
"**The hell you were.**" The annoyed voice came on. "**It's a wonder you're still on the damn field and not dead. Be happy this is a low-security surveillance.**"  
"Um….yeah…." The male ignored his companion's giggling in the background. "Is something wrong, sir?"  
"**Back-door surveillance. Thirty minutes ago.**" On the screen suddenly popped up an image of a man getting into a car. "**Drove off to the west. Went onto I95, then down into the industrial district. You know what that means, genius?**"  
"….Hang on a minute!" The agent's eyes widened. "You're telling me that he left out the back?!"  
"**Yes.**" The voice was even more annoyed. "**And our mole has just come out of the HQ of our suspect. He's headed for Australia now**."  
"It's a sign." The girl's voice became excited as it began to speak. "It means that he's _been found."  
"**It also means you guys don't pay attention.**" The two moaned at this. "**Get back to the station and get your supplies. Periwinkle wants us out in twenty minutes; any more and it may be too late to even track him. Let's move!**"  
"….Well," The girl jumped into the front seat of the Rover as the voice flickered away. "Looks like we get to do something now!"  
  
With that, the girl put the car in drive and slammed her foot onto the accelerator. The car gave a loud screech before it sped off onto the main drag, its tires leaving behind four distinct black marks from the rushed acceleration.  
  
Now there was work to do._  
  
-----------------------  
  
"Wow!"  
  
Closed, the laptop was silver and sleek; its design was flawless. Though it was a thin design, no more than a quarter of an inch thick, as well as on that was not completely square like other laptops, most people who might have seen it would have never assumed that it was not just a computer with several design changes. At least if it was closed, it was considered normal.  
  
"Where're the keys?"  
  
Upon opening the laptop, however, one would see something so incredible that it would make those who saw it think they were in a science fiction movie. It was a computer with no keyboard. Created completely from scratch with nanites, the computer was a commanded module computer - a CMC - designed to run on voice activation. Everything was done by the embedded nanites on command, as each and every individual particle was given enough memory to perform as many commands as normal PC, making the CMC countless times more effective than even the world's smartest current generation computer. The nanites could do everything, from automatically recording every action performed on the interface for future reference to running twenty different operating systems simultaneously to even changing the laptop's overall physical configuration, color and shape. It was many years ahead of its time, a computer of tomorrow, and an extremely effective machine.  
  
"In an attempt to communicate to the Lysatorians," Suddenly, two nostrils pressed onto the nanite screen. "Spaceman Spiff, galactic hero, attempts to communicate to the hostile newcomers virtually through the use of Lysator's secondary language, Computerese."  
  
After the confusing statements made by Arthur Callous - as the man had eventually introduced himself as to Calvin and Hobbes - the two had been quickly ushered into a small, round-walled room filled with toys and gadgets of many different types. Most of what was in the room was what one would expect to find in a normal playroom - a bed, some action figures and stuffed toys, and posters on the walls. But for Calvin, the best thing in the room was the computer.  
  
"Help!" Calvin lifted his voice up to a squeal. "Spiff, what do we do?!?"  
"Don't worry!" The voice went down as low as it could go. "I know the language. Just let _me_ handle it, Galactic Council…."  
  
_Porcelain Tiger…..What name is that…..?_  
  
Meanwhile, Hobbes was staring confusedly at what should have been a wall of reinforced steel. His senses had earlier picked up a human scent, and the sound of human voices, on the left side of the room that they had been ushered into, yet (though his subconscious suspected otherwise) Calvin was the only human in the room.  
  
"Huh…..….How weird…." Hobbes gave a sniff and turned around, tapping his finger into his head. "I know Calvin doesn't wear Old Spice…."  
"_Old Spice?_" A whisper drifted into Hobbes' ear. "_Where the hell did he get Old Spice from? This is Obsession!_"  
"_Yeah, well, you _do_ wear too damn much of it._"   
  
Hobbes gave a sniff, then gave the wall a suspicious look. The supposed wall of steel was, in fact, not there at all. What Hobbes was really looking at was a group of lined-up men who were staring back at his activities and recording everything he said and did. What was keeping them out of sight from the tiger were high-tech camouflage shields, designed to create a wall-like shield around any soldier trapped in an alleyway. Along with the reinforced steel camouflage shields that the men in the room were using, Callous' men had perfected brick camouflage shields, spray paint camouflage shields, and cement camouflage shields. Callous was also working on an adaptable wallpaper/acrylic/watercolor paint camouflage shield, designed to reduce the costs of making a shield for every different color and pattern that could appear in a house during a covert house raid.  
  
"Hey!" This time, Hobbes stared back at the fake wall and extended a finger out. With indignancy he poked the wall. "I can hear you. I don't know how you're there and I can't see you, but I know you're there."  
"A success could mean the saving of billions of lives!" Meanwhile, Calvin was waving his hands around the nanite CMC. "But failure to communicate could mean the destruction of countless systems! What will Spiff do?!"  
"_Ow!_" There was a squeak from the wall. "_He got me! He got me, sarge! I'm bleeding!_"  
"_O….ok…._" Hobbes watched as one of the slabs of wall suddenly started moving. "_J-just calm down….I'll handle it…_"  
  
  
  
_"What do you mean, 'you'll handle it'?"  
"The transfer to my department will be complete in three days."  
"But…." The figure above looked worried. "What….what about _him_?"  
  
'He' looked up. For whatever reason, he did not recall being so small, or having anyone be so big to tower above him. And - for whatever reason - 'he' was scared.  
  
"He will be taken care of." Suddenly, Callous' face appeared on one of the towering men. "We will finish everything."_  
  
  
  
"_HA HA!_"  
  
The boorish laughing jerked Hobbes out of his confused, if not hypnotized, state. His face jerked over to the slabs of fake wall, where there were groans of anger. Apparently, the sergeant had attempted to aid the reportedly injured soldiers; in doing so, he ended up stepping on some toes, as the shields has made his own men invisible to him, and so he could not see where they were. However, the bleeding man had actually been playing a trick on everyone.  
  
"_Hee hee! Made you look!_" The groans became even angrier. "_What? What'd I do?_"  
"_You asshole._" One answer came from clenched teeth. "_The tiger's looking at us. Now he knows we're here, dumbass._"  
"_Oh yeah?_" was the response. "_Well, he can't see us or nothing like that…..He doesn't know where I am…._"  
  
As the soldier droned on, a mischievous grin came on Hobbes' face. Using his ears to guide him, he walked over to the panel of the fake wall that had the best chance of the annoying solder being behind. He held up his pointer finger, letting his claw come out, before gouging the soldier with a definitive poke.  
  
"_Its not li-OWWWWWW!!!!"_" There was a high-pitched scream before the panel started running around in circles. "_AWWWWW, CRAP!!! THIS HURTS!!!!_"  
"_Woah no!_" The other panels backed off. "_Nuh uh! You're not tricking us again!!!_"  
"_Mommyyyyyyy….._"  
  
As Hobbes chortled at the just revenge, Callous entered the room. His face was once again ashen, and his jaw was tight at his lips. He had only been gone for five minutes at the time, as he had been busy with some important business concerning a drug bust in Indianapolis. Looking around, he saw Hobbes enjoying himself.  
  
_Porcelain Tiger…._ he frowned. _The government's got their eyes on this prized, lost possession, and in time it ended up in the hands of a kid. A filthy, ugly, stupid child. And now, Porcelain Tiger seems so easily amused, just like a child himself._   
  
Callous watched, unamused, as Hobbes proceeded to pounce on a teddy bear. As he chewed it up to hundreds of pieces, the man's thought deepened.   
  
_Something has happened. Something in his system has happened. I _know_ this is who we are looking for. _Callous stared. _The physique, the color, the body length, the voice, everything. Yet somehow, Porcelain Tiger is too influenced by the boy to make a decent fighter now. The government would never want him in such a condition. There must be some way to remedy it. The test must be conducted….if it doesn't work, we have to find a way to modify him so this mangy boy is not a problem. But…._ Callous suddenly gave a smirk. _Even if my plan is successful, I can't take chances with him either way. Porcelain Tiger may be my saving grace…..or it may be my greatest threat. The test will see._  
  
"Beginning sequence…"  
  
Callous' head shot over towards Calvin's direction the moment he heard the words. The man's eyes widened as he saw the flashing laptop screen. Then Calvin opened his mouth.  
  
"Wait!" Callous' hand shot out. "Don't-"  
"Blahfjh jhfudfd hjkhfjd hkedhfjk hieuyrewcyteiuri!!!!!"  
  
As soon as the words left Calvin's mouth, the laptop gave a shudder. Though the technology was highly advanced, not even it could withstand the constant barrage of unrecognizable banter from the boy that was, on top of everything, banging his hand onto the keyboardless interface as if he were typing something. With a final whimper, the CMC simply collapsed onto itself, its nanites unable to sustain the appearance of a laptop. Within seconds, all that was left was a glowing pile of sparkles.  
  
"COOL!" Calvin's hand went to touch the pile. "Neato-"  
"**NO!!!!!**"  
  
There was a violent jerk, then a yelp as Calvin was forced away from his position over the heap of lights. With a deft hand, Callous threw him to the floor.  
  
"OW!" Calvin rubbed his back indignantly. "That hurt!"  
"That is nothing compared to what you almost did! Bad boy!" Callous' scolding was as pleasant as nails on a chalkboard. "Those nanites are extremely charged! Do you want to be electrocuted to death?!"  
"….Yes?"  
  
Callous could not help but slap his head at the boy that stood in front of him. His eyes were so blank, so stupid, so full of uselessness. Yet he was the master of one of the world's deadliest warriors. It blew his mind.  
  
"Well, I...." Quickly, he grabbed Calvin. "I think its best if we explained it out here, before we begin the tests."  
"Tests?" Calvin suddenly tensed up as he was dragged out. "N-NO! I don't WANT to do tests!!!!! I HATE TESTS!!!!!!!"  
"Well, I...." Callous' voice was quite irritated. "These aren't _normal_ tests. We...scan your brain."  
"....Scan my _brain_?!?!?" The boy relaxed. "How cool! They're going to scan my brain!!!"  
"_Idiot._" There was some whimpering as the panels yelled at one another. "_How can you be such a jackass?_"  
"_But he really hurt me...._"  
  
It took several minutes for Hobbes to realize that Calvin and Callous were out of the room. He scampered out as fast as he could.  
  
_Must......keep.....running......_  
  
Hobbes stopped for a moment. He kept thinking that he was going the wrong way, that to follow Calvin would be a grave mistake. He could feel it deep within him, that this place was wrong, that the situatio was wrong.  
  
_......I'm hungry._ Hobbes scampered out. _Maybe they have some tuna sandwiches...?_  
  
--------------------------  
  
Several hours passed by, and for Hobbes, he could feel his tummy growling.   
  
_This guy just isn't right._ Hobbes stared into one of the many rooms that dotted the hall that both him and Calvin were being led down. _I should be having a sandwich, not taking all these weird tests._  
  
Several tests had inexplicably been performed on the two as soon as they had been taken out of the playroom, and they had not been back there since. First, they were sent into a large gym, and were both told to run around the outside track for one lap. Hobbes beat Calvin too easily, going around it in less than ten seconds.  
  
"Come on!" Two minutes later, Calvin huffed to the finish line. "Give me a head start the next time, huh?"  
  
Then, they were brought to a test of dread - they were made to sit down and take a fill-in test. Most of it was filler stuff - the capital of the second ward of the Muslim capital district Tartarmenitstist in Delhi, India came quick to Hobbes because he knew it. On the other hand, he was unfamiliar with 7+5+6+12; he had not been accomplished in long addition.   
  
But at least Hobbes was answering them as best as he could, of course; all of Calvin's test answers were completely made up.  
  
_…And then Tracer Bullet conferred…_ Calvin's mind was faster then his pencil. _…That the answer the broad had was an intentionally incorrect clue, and so the capital of Ohio was really the capital of Pennsylvania, where she hid the diamond, which was Miami…_  
  
There were many other tests - a weight lifting test (Hobbes won), a session looking at ink blobs they had to identify (Hobbes saw lots of characters from adult movies and TV shows he and Calvin had watched), and an archery contest (Hobbes hit every mark he was told to hit for some reason). But they had been mostly unmemorable; Calvin, especially, was waiting for the brain scan that Callous had been promising.  
  
"When are we going to do the brain scan?" Calvin looked around impatiently. "I want to get my brain scanned!"  
"We'll…..be doing it in a moment." Callous looked completely exasperated. "Come this way."  
  
Callous was also looking forward to the brain scan he had promised Calvin, but for very different reasons than the boy. His reasons were more desperate; he knew full well that everything depended on the success of the 'brain scan' (as that was the best way to describe it without him revealing the full intention of what he was trying to do). If it didn't work, or even f it did work, Callous knew that there would be more unpleasant options that he would have to consider.  
  
_….I mustn't seem too inconsiderate or rushed._ Callous looked down. _Perhaps…..perhaps I should make the boy understand what Porcelain Tiger means to us. But not too many details…._  
  
"You are extremely lucky, young man." Callous led Calvin and down the dark hallway. "There are many people who wish to destroy you for the secret you possess. But thank _goodness_ we found you in time."  
"Secret?" Calvin looked at Callous confusedly. "What secret?"  
"Why," Callous looked behind him. "Porcelain Tiger, of course!"  
  
Calvin turned around and frowned. Hobbes was staring at a door, his mouth open.  
  
"Hobbes? He's nothing special."  
"Oh, but he _is_." Callous beamed. "He harbors many things. Many talents are hidden under that furry exterior, some fearful, some awe-inspiring. All...." At this, Callous' face darkened. "....deadly."  
"Oh! Well," Calvin shrugged. "I never saw him as being deadly. Annoying and grabby, sure, but I don't think he'd ever have wanted to kill me even when we get into fights over stuff."  
"My boy," Callous turned back to Calvin. "I don't think you have an idea of who you're dealing with. Do you not realize that your stuffed animal is, in fact, one of _us_?"  
  
It took a moment for Calvin to realize what Callous was saying. When he did, his eyes bulged out of his head.  
  
"**WHAT?!?!?**" Before Callous could grab him, Calvin was on Hobbes, smacking him. "YOU'RE A SPY?!?!?? YOU'RE A SPY AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME!?!? _TRAITOR!!!!_"  
"HEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!" With a snarl, Hobbes fought back. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!"  
"DO TOO!"  
"DO NOT!"  
"DO TOO!"  
"DO NOT!"  
"DO!"  
"NO!"  
"**DO!**"  
"**NOOOOO!!**"  
  
Callous looked at the fight with considerable annoyance. They were already an hour late on the procedure that was supposed to be done, yet the little boy kept insisting on gawking, arguing, whining and fighting. It was severely testing his patience and his tolerance, and he gave a sigh of relief when several agents managed to pull and pry the two apart.  
  
"Liar!!" Calvin spat. "Mangy furball! So how long were you going to wait to tell me you were a secret agent before letting me on for your missions, huh!?"  
"I'm NOT a secret agent!" Hobbes growled. "I _think_ I would have mentioned it on my resume, don't you think?"  
"You came from a pawn shop!" Calvin waved his hands as the agents pinned him down. "What, now being with me is your job?! A career opportunity?! Well, I can fire you then because we're no longer friends if you can't tell me the truth!"  
"This is unacceptable!" Visibly hurt by the words, Hobbes swiped at Calvin and missed. "You can't fire me without sufficient grounds and evidence! I'll SUE you!"  
"**_QUIET, BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!_**"  
  
Both turned their heads towards the scream. Though his face was still red, Callous had already regained his composure, and was taking several deep breaths as he turned away from them.  
  
"C….come now." His shoes made a metallic sound as they hit the floor. "We mustn't be late for the test."  
"….Ok!!"  
  
Calvin stuck his tongue out at Hobbes as he jumped out of the agents' arms and toddled down the hall. Hobbes, on the other hand, slinked away reluctantly on all fours, giving the agents dirty looks as he did.  
  
_The more I think…._ Hobbes glared at the floor. _The more I think, the more I hate this….._  
_….Humph._ Calvin looked back towards the sulking tiger and turned his nose up. _Serves him right. Totally serves the traitor right for not telling me about……hmmm?_  
  
One of the doors turned Calvin's interest away from his (ex)friend and towards a large yellow and black sign plastered onto the bottom. The only word Calvin could understand on the poster was the largest word of them all: **DANGER.**  
  
_Danger? DANGER?!?_ Easily impressed, Calvin jumped onto the handle of the door. _Let's see what in he…hugh…….huuuuugh……..Drat, it's locked!_  
  
Nevertheless, Calvin managed to sneak a peek at what was inside the room beyond. It was a large, metal-plated hangar, filled from top to bottom with large metal shelves. There were various large cranes and machines carrying the shelves around, moving them slowly, almost carefully. One each shelf, in turn, were ten to twelve good sized, dull gray circular metal barrels. Each of them had a label with a black skull on them; all of them either had the word "TOXIC", "FLAMMABLE", "IRRITANT", "INSOLUABLE" or even "RADIOACTIVE" underneath, among other things.   
  
_Hey....._ Calvin slid down the side of the door, his mouth open. _There's tons and tons and TONS of tubes with that skeleton thingy on it and FLAMMABLE and RADIOACTIVE and TOXIC other scary sounding words.....Maybe there's Malthusian Truth Serum in them!_  
  
At this, Calvin, for the first time, froze as he landed on the floor. For the first time the entire trip, he suddenly felt a sting of fear at the bottom of his spine. It was not simply because he understood what most of the words meant. Calvin's comprehension of the words was, to a great extent, limited to the idea that such things only happened in a comic book, and to him, the whole idea of being an agent _was_ comic book material. Of course, some of it he simply made up, and some of it Hobbes made up, even though the tiger would never admit it.  
  
Until now. Rather, it was the first time that Calvin's mind registered that something was not quite right with the set up he was in at the moment. Whenever he was Spaceman Spiff, or Tracer Bullet, or Stupendous Man, or turning into other various things through unusual circumstances - or, the most famous of all, talking about Hobbes - his parents, his (few) friends and every other parental authority in the universe simply dismissed it. It was always chalked up to being the product of an overactive imagination.  
  
But this was suddenly different. These guys not only knew Hobbes could speak, they kept calling him another name. They had been shown cars, buildings, and gadgets that not even Calvin had thought of. And now, there were the dangerously fun chemicals - endless amounts! - that they were being shown by, and no one even made a peep. For the first time, Calvin wasn't in charge of the game; someone else was, and the boy, for one moment, could not help but think that he hadn't been given all the rules. This wasn't Calvinball; something _was_ wrong.  
  
_…..Stupid tiger._ Calvin gave the tiger another look. _Look what you got us into! Traitor._  
  
He trotted faster until he was right behind Callous, a sullen expression on his face. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and he said nothing for quite some time as they began to near the end of the hall.  
  
"….Well." Callous' voice was the only thing that broke the silence. It was low, but Calvin could hear him. "You've stopped talking. A breakthrough, I must say."  
  
Finally, they stopped. Calvin, Hobbes, Callous and two remaining agents stood in front of a large steel door. An authorized personnel sign hung ominously on the door.  
  
"Let not waste any time." A card was swiped down the side of the door. "We haven't any left to waste, right?"  
  
The door was opened with a grunt, and the anger and animosity of the two friends melted instantly at the sight that beheld them.  
  
_……….WOAH…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_  
  
The room they entered was large and perfectly circular. The walls were lined with a strange, dark-colored alloy; it was not quite black, as there was a tint of green in the glare of the metal, but it was nevertheless not anything that Calvin had ever seen before. Also in front of the wall were large, rectangular black boxes, each almost five feet tall. They looked like gigantic computer towers, and Hobbes, upon looking closer, suddenly had an epiphany that that was exactly what they were.  
  
_...Huh.._ Hobbes scratched his head._ BAD185625s........Pretty a-hmmmmmm?_  
  
As Hobbes looked at himself confusedly, completely oblivious to how he had known what the boxes had been, Calvin was giving the whole room a once-over, impressed by what he was looking at. There was a table, or some type of stretcher, surrounded by a dome with several holes. Surrounding the dome were small lasers and tasers on extendable appendages; they were moving around and ducking in and out of the holes, courtesy of a man standing behind a set of large monitors and consoles on the left side of the room. On the ceiling was a large black hatch, with searchlights surrounding it, which lit the inside of the dome.  
  
"WOW!" Calvin scrambled towards the computer. "This is SO COOL!"  
"Son?!?" Callous, spotting him, was right behind. "NO! GET AWAY FROM THERE!!"  
"Can I play with the computer?!" Calvin was too far in front. "Whee! This will be**GAH!!!!**"  
  
The minute he stepped within three feet of the monitor, he suddenly felt a strange, burning sensation in his leg. Then, the next thing he knew, he was flying right into Callous' arms, and there was a large reddened burn mark on his leg.  
  
"You!!!" Callous' voice was filled with exasperation, if not some anger that lingered from the hall fight. "You _are_ mad!!!"  
"H-huh...?" Calvin stared at the man, than stared at the monitors and consoles. There was an upset tone of total disbelief, of total shock, in his voice. "Why.....why'd you do that? I just wanted to see the computers....."  
"I did not 'do' anything." Callous dropped Calvin onto the floor. "You simply rushed in foolishly. It was your fault you were hurt."  
  
With that, Callous took out another card from his breast pocket and pressed a button hidden in between the computer towers. A small card-swiper popped out, and Callous swiped the card down.  
  
_Hmph._ Calvin sniffed as a red force field appeared, then fade away. _I wish he'd have told me before. This really hurt. What a mean old man....I hope he's not my boss when I become an agent!_  
  
"Get in." Suddenly, Calvin was again pulled along, this time to the computer monitors. "I might as well explain this - this is the BSSM - the Brain-Scan-and-Search-Module, perfected by our corporation."  
"Corporation?" Calvin crossed his arms. "I thought the CIA was an _agency_!"  
"Hmm?" Callous frowned. "What do you mean?"  
"You work for the CIA, right?" Callous could feel some sweat as Calvin spoke, his voice even more confused. "That's where Uncle Max worked."  
"…Yes……but…..we work with companies with contracts." Callous' teeth grit as he answered. "We don't do it all by ourselves."  
"Ok, ok!" Calvin gave the older man an irritated look. "I get the idea. The CIA is incompetent."  
"WH-WHAT?!?!?!" Callous nearly fell over. "That is _not_ what I-"  
"Sir, we're ready." The lab monitor interrupted Callous. The glasses glittered in the light of the room. "At your command."  
"Oh….yes…..Well!" Callous, in pretended surprise, slapped his head. "Oh, dear. Porcelain Tiger isn't in the safety area!"  
"Huh?" Calvin looked and saw Hobbes sniffing one of the monitors. "HOBBES! GET AWAY FROM THERE!"  
"Huh…?"  
  
Hobbes looked at Calvin with an annoyed look. He had been sniffing each of the monitors, feeling a sense of familiarity with each intake of smell. He could feel nicknames for the consoles come to his tongue, but they did not come out, and he didn't understand how he knew to begin with.  
  
"What?"  
"You're not in the safety area!" Calvin glared. "You stupid tiger!"  
"Oh….don't worry."  
"Huh?" Calvin turned to Callous. "What do you mean?"  
"Since Hobbes is outside of the safety area," Callous nodded towards the stuffed tiger. "He will go first to undertake the BSSM."  
"….Wha?"  
  
Suddenly, the two guards loomed over Hobbes, and the urge to kill them each by cutting their throats with a butter knife suddenly came to mind. However, he saw Calvin's annoyed face, and forgot again why he had felt that way.  
  
"Awww!!!!" Calvin pouted as the tiger was hoisted into the dome. "I wanted to go first!"  
  
Hobbes gave a growl as the two guards took to clamping him down to the stretcher with ropes and straps. He wasn't liking what was going at all; he knew full well something was wrong. What irritated him more than the fact that he was in an unlikable situation that he was powerless to prevent, however, was the fact that Calvin seemed completely oblivious to the fact that _anything_ was wrong.  
  
"I don't suppose," Hobbes let out a disgruntled wince as the final straps were hoisted around him, "if you could loosen these a little to allow my circulation to resume?"  
"It won't be necessary." Callous nodded towards the lab monitor. "This will all be finished in a few minutes. Doctor, activate the device."  
"Yes, sir."  
  
With a wave of his hand, the lab monitor shooed the men out of the dome, which closed as soon as the guards left the vicinity. From inside the dome, Hobbes gave Calvin an annoyed look.  
  
"I'm not liking this" was all he said as the stretcher suddenly started to lift off of the ground.  
"Don't worry." Callous turned to Calvin, his frame covering Calvin's view of the computer screen. "You can relax now, You'll be returned to your parents after this test is over."  
"Aww!" Calvin pouted. "I thought we were going to be agents!"  
"You….will be." Callous' voice again came through gritted teeth. "But first we must finish this, all right, young man?"  
  
Left with little else to do, Calvin simply stuck his tongue out at Hobbes as the stretcher slowly shifted so that Hobbes was upright as he was risen to the ceiling. Once Hobbes was straightened, the hatch on the ceiling opened, and out came a small black helmet, its entire exterior covered in connecting wires.  
  
"BSSM program activated." Calvin looked over at the monitor as he spoke. "Program beginning sequence."  
"_Excellent._"  
  
Something in Callous' voice at this - be it the odd tone of hunger, or strange glint in his eyes - suddenly made Calvin curious. And the more curious he got, the more he was tempted to try and figure out what program Callous was using to scan them. He knew that Spaceman Spiff, galactic hero, had once encountered a brain scanner that was designed to target specific brain cells in order to turn them into his mother's specialty pea soup.  
  
_Hmm….._ Calvin spotted a chair behind him. As quietly as he could, he moved it over and scrambled on top of it. _I really do wonder what they're doing to Hobbes…._  
  
It took several minutes of pushing and pulling the chair to the right spot. In all the time it took Calvin to get the chair in the correct position, the wires around the helmet had each been connecting into Hobbes' head and neck, one by one, until the helmet almost completely covered the tiger's face. One of the wires had a shock component on them, and this had immediately rendered the tiger unconscious.  
  
"Submission of Porcelain Tiger data into computer complete. Aforementioned subject is tranquilized." The monitor pressed several buttons. "Sequence starting in two minutes, sir."  
"Good…" Callous turned around. "Now all that's to be……What are YOU doing?!"  
  
If there was a grave mistake to be made by the deputy director, it was in that single action, which Callous would only realize later to be a costly decision, even though it was a sensible thing to do at the time. Callous' turning around to again berate Calvin was, by far, the luckiest thing that could have been, not just for Calvin, but for Hobbes especially. For, as Callous had turned, his frame had also turned, and his body no longer blocked the console monitor as it had before. From the chair, Calvin could fully read the program that was being used.  


**__**

BIOCHEMICAL AGENTS DIVISION, Sec. 40.6.473

  
"BRAIN BURN THRU" MEMORY WIPE  
Vers. 66.6

  
  
  
TARGETING MNEMOSYDIC NODES   
MEMORY WIPE CHIP PROG.   
PASS. SJDEYFGDFEIF   
MEMORY WIPE LOADING   
37%…  
41%…..  
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.**  
  
  
  
_……BRAIN BURN THRU!!!_  
  
**Calvin's heart froze. He knew full well what it meant. It was in the same vein as the Brain French Fryer, which Spaceman Spiff had been threatened with by the Geufidians back after his fight against the Trigonometrons, their insidious allies. The computer lingo only served to further solidify the evidence; the program was a memory wipe.  
  
And in two minutes, it would completely wipe Hobbes' memory forever.  
  
**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"  
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56%……..  
  
  
  
**Suddenly, with the fury of a wounded hyena and the screech of a dying cat, Calvin leaped off of the chair and down off of the console. His eyes were wide with the blind fear of an elephant being chased by a mouse.  
  
"HOBBES!!!!!" He threw himself at the shield. It gave way the second time he shoved. "HOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBES!!!!!!"  
"_NO!!!!_" Callous missed grabbing the boy's collar by millimeters. "GUARDS! **_STOP HIM!!!!_"  
  
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68%……  
  
  
**Instantly, the two guards jumped up, throwing themselves in to stop the boy. But Calvin, Boy of Destiny, desperate to save Hobbes from a terrible fate that should only have been left for aliens to sentence, called upon a strength he never thought existed within him, and dodged each and every attempt made to capture him.  
  
"Sir! SIR!!!!" The two guards were tied up in a pretzel as Calvin leaped onto one of the lasers. "He's attempting an abort! He's tampering with the laser!"  
"I KNOW THAT!!!!!" Callous was screaming. "STOP HIM!!!!!! STOOOOP HIIIIIM!!!!!!"  
  
Quickly, the lab monitor frantically tapped several buttons on his console. At his virtual command, another laser shot up and aimed at Calvin, who was frantically clawing at the back of the barrel.  
  
"Open……up!!!!!"   
  
He looked up just in time to see the laser pointed at him.**  
  
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.82%…..  
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**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!"  
  
Calvin dodged the beam by jumping off of the laser he was on. The beam missed him, instead shattering a large portion of the dome that stood behind the boy.  
  
"DAMMIT!" The lab monitor swore. "No!!! Don't go in there…."  
"HOBBES!!!!!!!"**  
  
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94%………  
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**The boy was a good climber, and he was already up near the top within the minute.  
  
"I don't believe this…!!!!" Callous shoved the monitor out of the way. "I'll stop him!!!!!"  
"HOBBES!!!!!!" Calvin violently shook the tiger. When that didn't work, he began to claw at the helmet. "Come ON, booger brain! I'm risking my life for you here!!!!!"  
  
Callous gave a crazed chuckle as he watched Calvin struggle. He took several deep breaths to compose himself and quickly typed in several new commands into the program.**  
  
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98%………..  
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**"Bad move, you brat."  
"HOBBES!!!!!!!!"  
  
As soon as Calvin's hand shot out near one a handful of wires at Hobbes' neck, Callous' hand was on the enter button. As soon as Calvin touched the wire, he was suddenly jolted by a powerful electric shock that came from the shock component. The boy gave one final scream of the tiger's name as Callous again pressed the button.  
  
_Spaceman……….Spiff…….._ Calvin's body became limp, hanging from one of the straps that kept his tiger hostage as he lost consciousness. _……Fried……..like…….donkey………._  
**  
  
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99%………….  
100%.  
UPLOAD COMPLETE.   
MEMORY WIPE……..ACTIVATED.   
**


	6. Chapter 4

****

VI  
  
  
  
_Wake up……  
  
The shocks had begun.  
  
He didn't know what was going on. He could feel something intrude his mind. He could feel something attack his brain. He knew he was powerless to stop it.  
  
And yet, even in that powerlessness, a new strength came. From a sealed box within his mind that Hobbes never knew he had, things began to come. In the dizzying white light, in that blackness, the hazy visions returned to the front of his memory.   
  
It was in that memory wipe that Porcelain Tiger began to remember everything.  
  
-------------------------  
  
"……up………Wake up……."  
  
The memories had been fuzzy before the first time the cub had awoken. He remembered small things, unclear objects, and white. There had been green and white as far as the cub could remember, and other cubs like him, only larger.  
  
"Good." The eyes came into focus. "He's awoken. It appears it was all a success."  
  
The cub opened its eyes fully, looking around. There were no greens or whites in this place like there had been where he was before. There were colors the cub had never seen before - dull, lifeless colors that glimmered all around him. There was a bright light, though it had not been as bright as the sun the day he had been chased by the figures - the day he lost his freedom.  
  
Then there was the man. He loomed over the dub in the shadows, always looming, yet far enough away so that the cub couldn't bite him. Either way, the cub felt groggy, and for some reason didn't want to fight. There were wiry things and sharp things in his body, but he was somehow too tired to care.  
  
"The test subject is adapting well to the alterations."  
"He is a cute little cub."  
  
Suddenly, a hand came onto his head, patting it greatly, and the moment it touched him, the cub liked it. He looked up weakly to see another man - this one who was closer, and his face much kinder.  
  
"Aah, he's a good little boy." There was another gentle pat. "See? He's a good little cub."  
"Stop acting like he's a baby." The other man's voice became irritable. "It's an animal."  
"But it has feelings too-"  
"-and don't forget that you work for _me_ and the government's money is paying for you to do this. Finish up this part of your work and be quiet."_  
  
---------------------  
  
"Memory wipe is proceeding as planned." The lab monitor pressed a few more buttons. "We seem to be having some trouble with the program, but I'm fixing it right now."  
"Thank you."  
  
Callous could not help but breathe a huge sigh of relief as workers scrambled around him with glass material. They were working to rebuild the dome, which had been damaged by the berserk behavior displayed by Calvin, the tiger's human companion. Every passing minute gave Callous more reason to take his gun out and shoot him.  
  
"…..That boy…." Callous wiped his hand through his head. "You know, I almost regret bringing him here. It was a waste. I should have just taken the tiger from him. Unruly boy."  
"He is unruly, sir." The monitor pressed the enter button. "If that was my kid, I'd kill him, sir."  
"I _should_ shoot him. He knows too much. In our line of duty that is what we do regardless of circumstances. Plus, he's asleep, so what could the brat do to stop me?" Callous shook his head. "An uncouth, unruly kindergartner. Nothing more than that. Yet Porcelain Tiger……I would think he would have retained _some_ instinct from before. How did this child ever manage to corrupt him in such a way that turned him into a brainless baffoon?"  
"Memory wipe will be complete in 5 minutes."  
"That will pass, though. This will work." Callous closed his eyes. "Its 98 percent effective. The wipe will work. The boy will be out of his mind, nothing but a bad dream for my creation when this is done."  
  
The lab monitor gave Callous a slightly uneasy look at this. For months, it had been assumed by most of the staff at the agency who knew the truth about Porcelain Tiger that the government had created him. The lab monitor was one of the few who knew the truth, but he dared not to second Callous. He knew other eyes could be watching their hasty actions.  
  
"But sir," The lab monitor finally looked away. "What if it doesn't work?"  
"…..Then," Callous turned and gave the monitor a glare. "I'll just shoot _you_ instead."  
"What?!" The monitor's yes widened. "But…I didn't make the program, sir! And I-"  
"That doesn't matter." Callous turned back towards the tiger. "I'm sorry, boy, but your contract _is_ tangible and I'd need to kill _someone_ for these mistakes."  
  
---------------------  
  
_There were memories, more thought coming back. More of the past.  
  
"Ready, aim….."  
  
The small cub looked at the man as the glimmering object was brought under his arm. The cub looked slightly confused as to the actual use of the object, just that it was shiny.  
  
"FIRE!"  
  
The loud, thunderous sound made the cub yelp and flee in terror at the sound. It echoed through his sensitive ears, resonating into his brain. The little cub gave a whimper.  
  
"Nice, nice." The shadow of a man suddenly loomed over the figure with the gun. "You are the best of your kind, captain, so I'll hire you to teach the sniper skills. But look here. When I'm finished, you will see a soldier so perfect they'll put your kind out of business one day."  
"Sir," There was some uncertainty in the figure with the object's voice. "I hate to sound doubtful, but _how_ can you teach a…..a toy to shoot?"  
  
There was a moment of awkward silence. Finally, the other shadow spoke, its voice lowered more dangerously.  
  
"If that's all you see," the shadow grumbled. "Then I see no reason to keep you on the project. Be sure to expect a transfer our of the Biochemical Agents…."  
  
The tiger cub tuned the shadow - the mean man, because he recognized his voice - out of his mind. Rather, he had his eyes on another, one who was passing through the hall. As quietly as he could, the cub scampered out of the room - labeled "SHOOTING RANGE" - to follow.  
  
"Why….hello!" There was a hint of surprise in the kind voice as the cub quickly nuzzled up to this new figure's leg. "You are looking good. Are you finished with watching the guns go off?"  
  
The cub gave a nod in reply. Awkwardly, it stood up on its two hind legs, just as the kind voice had taught him. He swaggered along, trying to keep his balance, as if trying to impress the kind voice.  
  
"Oh, you're walking better today!" The kind voice suddenly had a hint of sadness to it. "Yes, you're getting much better…."  
  
The cub tilted his head in confusion, giving a meow as he did. He didn't know how to talk, though he knew the kind man would one day teach him, because the mean voice had said he had to. He would have asked what was wrong; he could sense that something was amiss. But the sadness passed the kind voice after a moment, and the cub forgot his foreboding sense.  
  
"Come on with me." The figure of the kind voice gestured. "Come - I think you might want something to read?"  
  
Curious, the cub scampered behind the figure until they reached a small room near the end of the hall. Opening the door, the figure entered into a small, cold room, one that barely had room fir the two of them to get into. It was filled with papers on a desk that took up half of the office space, and the areas that were not covered in papers - which had odd little numbers and squiggly lines on them - they were filled in with various books and pamphlets.  
  
"I thought you might be interested in reading something." The man took a book up. "Just like last week. Would you like to continue Don Quixote, Or do you want to read a new book this time?"  
  
The cub scrambled up onto the kind voice's chest. He didn't care what book they read; he loved how he read all of his books, regardless of which one it was. To make the choice easier, of course, the cub nudged the kind figure's right arm.  
  
"Aah….aaaaah!" The kind figure laughed. "Very well. Don Quixote it is."  
  
  
--  
  
  
"And one…..two……three!!!"  
  
The sound of the exploding gun sent the tiger cub on its heels. It was time for another obstacle course.  
  
"Go, go, go!" He heard the voice shouting. "Go on! You can do it! Three minutes!"  
  
The cub raced like a cheetah out of the gate, flying through the tires. Originally, it had had trouble going through the obstacle course - he had been very, very small, and they only had him practice his running. Now, fortunately, he was a little bigger, and the tires were finished in less than five seconds.  
  
"There you go!" The little tiger cub threw himself into a pool situated behind the tires. "You're doing a very good job! Go!"  
  
The tiger cub gave a sputter before he began to swim. His arms flailed a little bit, and tiger instinct told him that he shouldn't be in the water. However, he was wired, he was altered, and most importantly, he thought - or was made to think - that he was human. Despite the mean man's constant yelling at him, that was how he had always thought; he was human, just a little furrier.  
  
After several seconds of uncertainty, his human instinct kicked in, and he lunged across the water, swimming with a breaststroke as the men - the men that called themselves "seals" - had taught him to do. He got out of the water after a minute, soaking wet.  
  
"Hurry!" He heard the kind man's voice again. "Three laps!"  
  
The cub was on his hind legs before the kind man even spoke the last of his words. With a great leap the cub was on his way down the track, running as fast as he could. He had trained on running for so long, he barely broke a sweat as he leaped across the finish line, jumping into the man's arms.  
  
"GOOD BOY!" The cub gave a growl - his way of purring - as the kind voice proceeded to rub his head. "You are doing well, my friend."  
  
There was a laugh from the kind voice as his face was licked. The cub could see him, the man with the kind voice, clearly that day, though to an older tiger his face was clouded by the loss of this memory. He was an older man, one who wore large glasses, and had silver hair, and wore a white lab coat and a dark green shirt and khaki pants.  
  
"Two minutes and forty seven minutes." The old man looked at his stopwatch. "Well, you are doing very well. I think now is the time to take some time out to read some books…?"  
  
The kind man's voice trailed off. His eyes widened, and he took several quick steps back.  
  
"Oh, I…"  
"Books?"  
  
The cub also stiffened at the sound of the voice. He knew who it was. The shadow fell over him, and slowly, he turned around to see the mean man staring at him.  
  
"I don't know what you're doing with him," The voice was slow, almost menacing. "But his times are suffering."  
"S-sir?"  
"I hired you because I thought you were the leading genetic specialist in the field of animal physiology." The mean man looked up at the kind man, a glint of hunger in his eyes. "I thought you could give me the perfect soldier. I didn't know you were trying to turn him into a scholar and reading him Tolstoy. That's _not_ your job, doctor."  
"W-well…." The kind man seemed fearful. "I, um…..I thought, perhaps, a proficiency in scholarly endeavors could help him when he gets bigger…..to learn language….to study such things that-"  
"QUIET, old man!"  
  
There was an air of anger in the man's voice, and the cub began to shake. He knew what the mean man could do. The mean man was bad. Anyone who didn't do what he wanted were sent away, and the cub never saw them again.  
  
"…..But….you have a point." There was slight irritation in his voice. "I'd rather have a soldier that can read instructions in Russian than have a brainless animal. But _I_ will choose the material. Remember," The mean man began to walk away. "I am your boss. This is my project. And this will be a privilege for _him_, not for you. Remember. And," He turned back around for a moment, the hunger in his eyes greater. "I want that time down to two minutes by the end of this month. So start getting a move on it, _doctor_."  
"….Yes, sir……."  
  
It was at this point that the cub began to comprehend that all the fuss, all the things that the mean ma was doing, was centered around him somehow. He wasn't sure why, but he had the feeling he was apart of something big. And regardless of whether or not he liked it, the mean man was the boss, and the cub would have to get used to it.  
  
"……Come…." The sadness was back in the kind man's voice. "Let's get back to this…."  
  
  
-  
  
  
"Now," The cub looked up at the shadow as it handed him a large object. "I want you to shoot that object right there."  
  
The cub looked down at the object he was handed. It was a large, silver gun. He knew what it was because he had seen it before. In the videos that the man made him watch. He did not like the videos, and he did not like the man.  
  
"You have a mission." The man looked down at him with those hungry eyes. "Yours is a mission of death. You are to give death to those you are ordered to give death to. Those men are the enemy of the state. You are a machine for death."  
  
The cub looked at the man blankly. None of the words were ones that he really understood, at least not in the way that the man was telling him. Something about the way it was said was…._evil._  
  
"Go." The man looked as evil as his words. "Shoot the target."  
  
The cub began to shake. His fear was risen by the sight of what the target was. It was the man that had been shooting before. He was reddened with blood, and his eyes were filled with fear. It was then the cub knew what he was being asked to do.  
  
_He was being asked to kill someone_.  
  
"Go on." The man's voice bored evilly into his mind. "Go on if you care about him. You care about him, don't you? Then learned to fight. Learn the instinct to fight, to hit, to punch and kick and shoot. To kill."  
  
Then, within the memory, Hobbes woke up. He saw the face of the man of the past, and it resembled a face from the present - a face that was all too familiar. It was Callous.  
  
It was in that memory that everything began to change.  
  
"Do it." In his memory, the cub had no choice. He took up the gun and aimed. "Shoot."_  
  
-----------------------  
  
_Dun dun dun dun dun duuuuuun!!!_  
The cinematic images were fuzzy in Calvin's mind. He saw Hobbes, and Callous, and the large machine, though they were dim and only through delirious eyes. But even in his delirium, he saw one thing very clearly.  
  
_Calvin, the Spy,_ his mind ran a very strange cartoon. _Found the sacred cheesecake, and was to bring it back to base before the evil men found it!_  
  
Somehow, in all of the things that Calvin had gone through in the past hours, in all of the danger, it was secretly one of the two constants that kept him going; Hobbes was the other. For Calvin, though, dessert was taking precedence over friends and memories in his subconscious dreams. His mind registered that he had not had a good cheesecake in two whole months, and the dream he was having was the odd result.  
  
_Suddenly, out of the blue came CALLOUS!_ Callous in Calvin's dream was completely wet, going along with his hair. Then, it began to rain, and Calvin was also wet. _The evil spy that hates Calvin for his goodness and his curiosity! He swam across the English Channel to get the cheesecake for himself, and he won't give it up without a fight!_  
  
Naturally, a six-year-old such as Calvin would have naturally seen the Matrix movies - both of them, because the third one wouldn't come out for six more months - and his mind incorporated everything it could into the illusion. Soon, Callous was being played by Hugo Weaving, and Calvin's head was seemingly juxtaposed onto Keanu Reeves' body.  
  
_Bullet time! Calvin dodges all of his bullets!_ Calvin gave a satisfied snort in his sleeping. _Callous starts to spread like a virus into the computer system, but Calvin - code-named 'Killer' - easily defeats him! The fighters of Zion cheer as Killer Calvin returns with cheesecake for all! Cheesecake with whip cream….and strawberries…..and cherries……and sauce…….mmmmmm….._  
  
"…….activating the agent."  
  
The echo of Callous' voice jolted Calvin out of his delicious dream, though not completely out of dreaming. He heard the voices, but could not jolt his eyes open.  
  
"Soon, all thoughts from the past six years will be erased." There was something in Callous' voice that was venomous, even evil. "We should be able to easily reprogram Porcelain Tiger as he was before without the memory of the boy's influence."  
"Um…." There was a sudden tone of fear in the technician's voice. "Sir, we seem to have a problem with the program-"  
"Fix it." Callous' voice was sharp. "You're a computer technician, you can fix it."  
"Actually, sir, it's a little more than that-"  
"Never mind." There was now a growl in Callous' voice. "Just do what you have to."  
  
The next sound Calvin heard from the two made him wake up when, before, he could barely move. It was a strange, chinking sound, followed by a click. Calvin knew, from all the late night TV he secretly watched, exactly what the sound was.  
  
_It's……_ Calvin's head jerked up. _A GUN!!!!** EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!**_  
  
The sudden jerked movement of the boy's head caught the computer monitor's eye, and he gave a shout. Calvin, in turn, stared at him with wide deer eyes, still clinging to Hobbes like an old girlfriend.  
  
"Sir!!!! SIR!!!!" The lab monitor quickly fished through his pockets for a gun. "SIR! The boy is awake!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
At this, Callous turned, his eyes bearing into Calvin with sudden, unspeakable hate. With no other real way to reply, as he had no gun, Calvin simply thumbed his nose in contempt at the man, sticking his tongue out as he did.  
  
"NYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"  
  
-----------------------------  
  
_"RUN!"  
  
The wind was flying through him. The memories, the explosions, everything. He had to fight, for he could feel the blackness of oblivion starting to creep in his mind.  
  
He had no choice but to run.  
  
"Run from it!!!" The words echoed through his mind. "Run, run forever, run from this hell, but whatever you do, don't let them catch you!! They will make you kill him!"  
  
Suddenly, as the cub ran - he did not remember why he was running, but only that they were going to make him kill someone he had never met - he felt something bump into him.  
  
"YOU!"  
  
The cub cowered briefly in fear, remembering the evil that he was made to do. The fear of what would happen, however, was fleeting. The instinct, the fighting instinct that Callous had driven into the cub, the instinct that was genetically implanted into him, kicked in almost instantly.  
  
"**RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!**"  
  
He remembered everything full well of that moment. He had risen up, and with a snarl on his face, he had raised a hand against the bad man. He could remember the screams, the cries, every sound that came from the bad man as he fell, his face nothing more than a bloodied shadow of a horror movie circus clown.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
It was the only time the cub ever truly enjoyed overseeing an act of bloody violence wrought by his own hands._  
  
-------------------------  
  
"SIR!!"  
  
Then, suddenly, to the dismay of everyone, there was a loud popping sound just as Callous moved to take a retaliating action.  
  
"SI**GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!**"  
"Huh?!"  
  
Calvin's eyes widened as his eyes set upon the main console. There were sparks and jolts of electricity that surged through the monitor as the dome lights suddenly flickered on and off, and as the computers towers themselves seemed to fail. The computer itself, which had actually started buzzing when Calvin was waking up, whined and smoked for several moments from whatever had happened before setting off a small explosion with one final pop.  
  
"GEORGE!" The lab monitor gave no reply, falling instead to the floor, dead. "Look what you **DID**, you little BASTARD!"  
"WHAT?!?!?!" Calvin's eyes widened. "I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!"  
  
Callous opened his mouth to reply, and raised his gun to accompany his reply. However, another sound came into the room, echoing through the four ears still functioning in the room.  
  
"Ooooooooh……."   
  
Calvin's head whipped around, his eyes widened. The tiger's eyes were beginning to flicker.  
  
"Hobbes!!!" Calvin grabbed the doll, shaking it. "HOBBES!!!!!!!!"  
  
The Porcelain Tiger was waking.  
  
-----------------------  
  
_The events outside of the factory compound could not have been more different than the scene within the lab. All around, there was little more than the sound of humming generators and fences, and there were few guards milling around the buildings that lay within as the midnoon sun began its journey towards the horizon - its signal of sunset.  
  
"This is it, boys."  
  
One man stood up in front of the group that was gathered around the complex. All of them wore black, and all of them had guns. They were all hooded, and on the back of their bullet proof vests were the letters "F-B-I".  
  
"This is our one shot." The man, older than most, but still in his early fifties, looked at each and every gunman with a determined look. "We know what he's up to. We know who's he's been dealing with, what he's been taking from them. And we all know who he's got captured in there. We have to rescue him."  
  
The gunmen looked at each other nervously at this. They knew what they had to do. Even though they knew the evil that was within, they all knew that it was nevertheless dangerous. The man whom they were dealing with was nothing less than dangerous.  
  
"For the sake of our country, and for our future generations, lets stop the terror." The man gave a motion towards the building. "Let's move out!"_  



	7. Chapter 5

**V**

_There was little Hobbes could remember before his current life, even as the memories trickled back from the back of his mind. He remembered the shots, and the dark figure....Callous. He remembered the kind voice, and the explosions, and the running and the scars.  
  
But even though he wasn't supposed to anymore, even though the computer was supposed to be erasing the memories, he still remembered the day he met Calvin.  
  
"Bababaaaaaah!!!"  
  
He was somewhere, far away from the bad men, sitting on a pile of dirty dolls and moldy shoes. He was in some kind of market, but he only remembered being unable to move, only until others moved him around, and that had been often. He didn't have mobility or real thought, or even a name - so he figured - before that day.  
  
"Baaaaaaah!" Something had been tugging at his tail hard - his first crystal clear memory. "Babababa!"  
  
_....Ow._ He was tempted to say something before he remembered. _Wait. Nothing will happen. I'm a doll._  
  
"Calvin!" His tail was suddenly released as another, older, female voice spoke in a firm voice. "No taking stuff. Leave that tiger alone."  
"...Baaaaaaaaaaaah...."  
  
_Tiger...._ The doll's mind clicked. _Huh. If she is talking about not touching the tiger, and she was talking to someone, and that someone was touching me before she told them to let go....then my name is....The Tiger?_  
  
The reaction after this revelatory thought was a repulsed shudder from the piercing, blubbered cry that ensued. It was not at all a pleasant sound, and it grated on his ears. His nose twitched, and his eyes looked upon what had touched him.  
  
The fat, slobbering, hairless blob of human flesh stared back at him with big, teary eyes eyes as it sat in its stroller. It suddenly clapped in a jerky, odd motion. It was, without a doubt, a big shock to the doll, who never thought such a monsterous looking child could exist. Especially, he realized, since its mother, the female who had called him The Tiger, was so pretty.  
  
_Say something._ the doll's mind sifted through a confused mesh of thoughts. _No, I'm a toy. Toys don't talk. Toys can't think._  
  
Then, the mother started to wheel away, and the cries became even louder. It began to echo throughout wherever the doll was, and the entire place began to stare at the baby.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" The baby's screams became deafness-inducing wails. "**WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!**"  
  
_....SAY SOMETHING! _  
  
Suddenly, even though he was a toy, according to the man who was selling him, even though dolls had no thoughts or moblity, he found himself acting on his feverish desire to stop the grating sound. The doll sat up, glared at the baby, and screamed as loud as he could.   
  
"STOP CRYING," he snarled. "AND _**SHUT UP!**_"  
  
This caused the crying to cease immediately. The doll stared at the baby as it stared back at him, shocked that the baby acknowledged him as existing. He was a doll, unable to exist living, yet he silenced the baby.  
  
For a moment, there was nothing, simply a staredown - a blank look of shock from the baby, an annoyed glare from the doll.  
  
"....HOBHOBHOBHOBHOBAAAA!!!!"  
  
To the doll's surprise, the baby suddenly giggled and shouted, clapping its hands again. It was almost jumping out of its seat as it went nuts over its new friend.  
  
"HOBAHOBAHOBAHOBABABABABAAAAAAAA!!!!" It was almost cheering as it tugged on its mother's shirt. "HOOOOOOOBAAAAAAAA!!!"  
"_ALL RIGHT!_" The mother, looking completely exasperated. ".....I told him I wouldn't buy anything...damnit....How much for this stuffed tiger?"  
"Four dollars," the gruff voice of the doll's owner replied. "No tax, lady."  
  
_Huh?_ Suddenly, the doll was picked up. _The lady and the guy didn't yell at me or anything, but that baby......he saw what I did....but....its like....she didn't!  
  
The confusing paradox plagued the doll as he was carried back to a station wagon. Inside, the doll could see a dark-haired man the father of the baby - looking cross as the mother came over.  
  
"What is this?" There was a demanding tone from the father as the mother opened the car door and carried the baby out of the stroller. "I thought we weren't getting anything!"  
"Calvin wanted it." The mother placed the baby into a car seat. "And I wasn't going to stand the baby crying and screaming because he didn't get the doll all the way home."  
"What if that thing has fleas?"  
"Well, I'll just burn it if it does!" The doll winced. "But I'm not staying in a car for tweny hours listening to Calvin the whole time!"  
"Fine, fine!_" The doll was placed next to the car seat. The baby smiled a toothless, satisfied grin. "Of course, you know, I wanted a dog..."  
"Stop that!"  
  
The car gave a jerk, then a roar, as it jumped to life. With more mumbles on his mind, the man put the car into drive and sped out of the parking lot.  
  
_Calvin..._ The doll looked at the baby. Its mind analyzed the name, and made the association. _Baby....Calvin._  
  
Calvin gave another giggle as the car went on. It smacked its hand against the doll, gurgling as it did.  
  
"Hobhobhobhobhobhobhobhobhoba......." Calvin chirped. "Hobahobahoba."  
  
_Hoba?_ The doll looked at Calvin with unease. _I don't want to be called...._  
  
The thought trailed off, and suddenly, a strange revelation came into the tiger doll's mind. The baby's endless babbling, as annoying as it was, had jogged something in his mind, something he had lost.  
  
_.......Hobbes._ It clicked. _My name. My name....is Hobbes._  
  
It was in that first memory that the doll realized that he was no ordinary plaything. He had a name, he had thoughts, and, looking at how he squirmed from the baby Calvin hitting him, he could move as well. Those were the three things all living, real people could do. The baby's parents seemed completely unaware, but Hobbes - not the doll, _Hobbes_ - didn't care. One person acknowledged he could, even if it was an undesirable person that was now grabbing his arm. And one person was all it took.  
  
"Twenty hours......" There was a mumble from the front seat. "And we couldn't go on a plane, could we....?"  
"Stop it." The mother turned and smiled. "See, look, its already working. Calvin's hugging the tiger, aww...."  
"Hobahobahoba..."  
"Yes, my name is Hobbes, baby...." Hobbes frowned as the baby leaned its head on his arm, drooling all over him as he did. "....Now...since we seem to be on the same wavelength, could you......please stop _doing_ that?!"  
"Hobaaaa.....hobbbbesaaaaaaa....._hoooooooooobes………  
  
  
  
"HOBBES!!!!!!!"  
  
Suddenly, his eyes shot open. The flea market, and drive, the arguing from the parents, all of that was replaced by the blinding light of the laboratory of the present.  
  
"…Huh?" The response was groggy. "Ow….."  
"Hobbes!!!"  
  
Hobbes blinked several times, his mind still confused. He could see the scenes, more scenes with Callous and the blackness, now with more clarity than ever. He looked over at Calvin, who was trying to untie him from his binds, and saw his shocked face. Hobbes looked back at him, still blinking as he did.  
  
"….What?"  
"What?" Calvin looked back, his face filled with worry. "Do you remember who I am? Hobbes?!"  
"…..Well….."  
"HOBBES?!?!?"  
"….I'll admit that I wish I didn't sometimes." Hobbes stuck his tongue out. "Why do you ask?"  
"What?!?!" Callous' eyes widened. "What…what is going on?!"  
"What do you mean, why do I ask?!" Calvin gave a snarl. "Don't you remember where we are?!?"  
"Hmm…" Hobbes paused. "I remember being with you, and you were being an idiot with the G.R.O.S.S. handbook, and your uncle came and you-"  
"Ok, OK!" Calvin rolled his eyes. "I get the point! You remember!"

***CRAAAAAAAAASH***

  
  
The sudden sound made the two jump up in shock, or at least Hobbes would have had he not still been tied up. It was the computer monitor, which had been violently thrown at the wall. It now lay shattered over several of the computer towers, shattered into many tiny pieces.  
  
"Of all the….!!!!!!!"  
  
Calvin and Hobbes turned to Callous, who was red-faced and visibly angry. His plan to erase the memories of Calvin from the tiger's chip had failed miserably, and it was, in Callous' eyes, all Calvin's fault. The computer had not only exploded because of the boy, the memory program had somehow failed as well.   
  
However, the explosion was not because of Calvin, though he blamed the boy for smashing up the dome and the equipment. Rather, it was the memory-wiping program itself; it was a sub-par Windows XP-based file on a computer compatible with the more superior Windows 98. It was, in truth, the lab monitor's fault for not realizing that there was a difference in operating systems; as they were upgraded, the program quality in the system got worse. In short, the program has shorted out, aborting what was supposed to be the memory wipe and destroying the computer.  
  
"Damn you…." Callous' face darkened as he pressed a button. "You little brat!"  
"Huh?!?"  
"The retrieval process of Porcelain Tiger has failed because of you." There was a certain degree of satisfaction in Callous' voice. "There is no reason to try again since it has already failed once, only to get the same results. The program was one-of-a-kind, either way, as…" At this, he gave a dark glare towards the limp body on the floor, "…the man who created it is now dead under my feet…..so we can't duplicate it." He turned back towards the two. "I therefore see no reason in keeping you or Porcelain Tiger alive any longer for the B.A.D.'s purposes, boy."  
"H-HUH?!?!?" Calvin's eyes widened. "Wh-what do you-"  
"Just as I…..suspected, the government will just have to be told that the tiger no longer exists…." A twitch of a smile came onto the man's face. "I guess this mean goodbye then, eh? Heheh..."  
  
There was the sudden click of a gun. Calvin froze as Callous held up a Glock, one made of pure gold, towards him.  
  
"You first."  
  
_GAAAAAAAAH!!_ Calvin stared in fright. _That's a Golden Gun! He's going to KILL ME!!!!!!_

***VAROOOOOOOO!!!!! VAROOOOOOOOOO! VAROOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!***

  
  
Suddenly, an alarm blared through the room. The lights in the dome started flashing red and white, and the remnants of the computer, and the shield, turned off.  
  
"What the.....?!?!" Callous' cantankerous expression suddenly melted away to pure fear. "NO!!! Not _him_! Not now!!!!"  
  
In the distance of the hall, the faint sound of raining bullets could be heard, as well as. Some ricocheted bullets hit the door of the room; one of them knocked the knob off.  
  
"Sound an alert!" Dropping the gun, Callous ran his hands through his hair as he ran over to the door and pressed a button for a voice communicator. "Get the men out there and begin Diversion B! They've invaded the base!!"  
"Woah!!" Calvin stared. "There's _more_ guns out there!! Automatic sniper rifles and Glocks, if my hearing's right!"  
  
_You're hearing's right....._  
  
As Calvin started to imagine what it would be like to blow people up with exploding bullets, Hobbes was working feverishly to get himself free before Callous' attention returned back to them. However, he only managed to get one paw out.  
  
_Come on....!!!_  
  
As he struggled, an idea as to how he could get out quickly came to him. In truth, he didn't really like the idea, but deep down he found it to be too foolproof to pass up.  
  
"I wonder if they'll let me shoot a guAAAAAAAAH!!!!"  
  
Calvin was suddenly lifted by his collar in midsentence by a tiger paw. Giving a shot, Calvin gave a glare towards the tiger before turning his head up.   
  
**SCANNING....** The eye of a laser, which was not controlled by the computer that was shut down, but rather by an internal ship, stared back at him. **SCANNING FOR C-A-L...**  
  
"AAAAAUGH!!" His eyes bugged out, Calvin wriggled angrily to free himself, to no avail. "TRAITOR! BAD!! EVIL!!!!!!!!"  
  
Calvin kept screaming as the laser eye spotted him in front of Hobbes. It adjusted for several seconds, scanning him. Finally, after taking the boy to be hostile, it took aim and shot out a beam.  
  
"Benedi-DOOOOF!!"  
  
At the last moment, Hobbes let go of Calvin, allowing him to drop to the floor with a hard thump. The beam blasted harmlessly through Hobbes' middle restraints, and with little else holding him, he leaped off of the table.  
  
"Well!" Hobbes looked down on Calvin, who was rubbing his rump. "That was easy."  
"Yeah, suuuuuuure." Calvin's reply was dry. "I'm not the one repaying me for saving my life by trying to _kill_ me!"  
"Look," Hobbes crossed his arms. "As much as I'd like to speak for my defense, I think that this argument should be put aside for the sake of our lives, yes?"  
"No, no, NO!!" Calvin gave a tantrumed stomp. "This CAN'T wait! You keep hiding things from me, and its NOT FAIR! And THEN you try to kill me!! What kind of friend ARE you?! Did Susie pay you or something?!"  
"...Well....." Hobbes tapped his chin. "If Susie paid me to do something to you, I _guess_ I'd consider...."  
"ARRGH!!"  
  
Calvin just barely missed a second laser coming at him. He leapt up, only to suddenly be taken up once more by Hobbes.  
  
"What the..?!" Calvin found himself being piggybacked y the tiger. "What are you _doing_? This is no time to be playing stupid games!!"  
"Just hang on tight...."  
  
Hobbes quickly crouched down low to the ground. His eyes quickly darted around, looking at every concievable entry and exit point. The only place to get out that he could figure was the door; by the way the voices echoed through the halls and the room, the room was within a deep interior of the complex. Therefore, jumping through the wall, he reasoned, would simply lead to concrete.  
  
But barging through the door was a possibility.  
  
"HURRY!" Callous snarled into the communicator. "Get reinforcements! I need them to counter-attack!!"  
  
_Well...._ Hobbes crouched further. _Its now or never..._  
  
At this, Calvin suddenly began to realize what it was that Hobbes planned to do. He quickly grabbed onto the tiger's neck.  
  
"DOOF! Too tight..."  
"Are you crazy?!" Calvin loosened his hands. "We'll be shot!  
"Much better." Hobbes was dengerously low. "I'll grab the gun. Whatever you do, don't let go until I say so. Understood?"  
"How are you going to-"  
  
Calvin didn't have time to finish his sentence. All of a sudden, the world became a blur, and everything shifted violently downwards.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!"  
  
In the moment which Hobbes shifted himself and, with a powerful pounce, leaped up over onto the ground near the door, Calvin was practically flying. The air blew in his face, and his hair was in a breeze. It was a fast, adrenaline-pumping sensation of power that may have coursed through his veins during that moment. The lurching feeling in his stomach, however, overtook any euphoric thought that could have been attained by the powerful leap.  
  
"HURRY!" Callous roared into the communicator. "Get reinforce.....eh...?"  
  
He turned over just as Hobbes and Calvin leaped over onto the highter platform which he himself stood on. Calvin, in turn, was just readjusting himself so as not to throw up. Both of their heads turned at the same time, and their eyes and faces met for one single instant.  
  
_......You....._  
  
Callous, staring at the boy with hateful eyes, knew that the tiger was awakened, and knew he would not be able to catch him before he made the door. He knew, also, that it was Calvin that the tiger would serve, and not him; it was far too late to reassert control, and the only means of doing so was destroyed. Nevertheless, Callous wanted to stop him, wanted to take the little boy and squeeze the life out of him like a tube of toothpaste for destroying his project.  
  
Callous was then given another reason to hate the little blonde boy even more than before. Calvin, on his side, realized that he and Hobbes were escaping. As much as he liked the gadgets they had, the scariest parts of the whole day - the mean Callous, the memory erasing, and the lasers that Hobbes tried to kill him with - were too much for him to handle without a pillow. In a few minutes, Calvin and Hobbes would be gone from that place for good, or so Calvin hoped. Because Callous, to Calvin, was a large, wet-haired jerk who had a golden gun, and in the movies you didn't have golden guns unless you _really_ wanted someone dead.   
  
With that in mind, Calvin decided to give Callous one more thing. As his goodbye present, he took his pointing fingers, stretched his mouth out with them in as gross a manner as he could without fallin, and stuck his tongue out as far as he could.  
  
"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Before Callous could react, Hobbes had landed, and bolted out the door, taking the golden gun with him.  
  
"YEAAAAAAH!" Calvin threw a hand up in the air. "We did i-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!"  
  
Calvin was suddenly jerked back, and it took all of his might to hang on as Hobbes shot through the corridor.  
  
-------------------------  
  
_What the....._  
  
Callous staggered up, and stared out of the door at the orange blur, trying to grasp what had just happened. He held his chest as he took in great gasps oif rage, trying to restrain himself from going berserk on the dead body of the lab monitor..  
  
In all of his years in the service of the government - and for himself - never before he he been subjected to such an insult, to such a terrible, unjust act.  
  
_He.......stuck.......his tongue.....out.......at **ME**!!!!!!!!_  
  
With a roar, he sprung upon the wall communicator and slammed his fist into the communicator. The crime committed would not be forgiven.  
  
"GUARDS!!!" He roared into the communicator. "The Porcelain Tiger has escaped! STOP HIM!"


	8. Chapter 5 and a Half

****

V 1/2

  
"I'm.....go-oo-oo-oo-oo-oona-aa-aa-aa be-ee-e siiii-ii-ii-ii-iick!!"  
  
Calvin was practically hanging on to little more than a shred of restraint for his stromach as Hobbes roared through the hallway. He was going incredibly fast, faster than Calvin had ever seen him gone before.  
  
_Where....is.....this....coming.....from?!_ Calvin's face turned green. _Either he's what that old guy said he was....or.....he's been eating Wheaties? He's going real fast!_  
  
Calvin, on the other hand, could not - would not - believe that Hobbes was what Callous said he was. Hobbes was too much of an idiot to be a spy.  
  
_Keep.....going....!!_  
  
Hobbes took in deep breaths as he blasted along, his hinds and front paws pumping as hard as they could.He still could not understand it, could not reconcile the strange images of the little cub with himself. On the other hand, he hadn't been keen on coming to this place to begin with, so he secretly blamed Calvin for the fix they were in. The only other thing on his mind were the words from his memories.  
_Run._  
And he ran. Hobbes was running as fast as he could - it was fast, but not so fast as he wanted it to be. He wanted to be out of the place at that instant, and he just wasn't as fast as an instant.  
_For your sake, my boy, for the sake of the free world! Run for your life!_  
A gasp came from Hobbes, and the next thing Calvin knew, he lost his grip on Hobbes' neck. He sailed into the air with an angry shout of protest, and once again he handed on his behind. This time, however, it was twenty feet in front of Hobbes.  
  
"AAAARGH!!" The boy scrambled up and jumped on Hobbes. "You noodlehead! TELL me when you're going to stop!"  
"OW!" Hobbes gave a growl and smacked Calvin. "Get offa me, you human!"  
"EERGH! Oooh, thats an _iiiin_sult, Mr. Tiger Trying To Kill Me!" Calvin jumped onto the tiger's belly as hard as he could. "You orange stick! If I had a dime for everytime you've tried killing me today, I'd be a millionaire!"  
"Oh yeah," Hobbes threw Calvin off and landed on top of him. "Is that _so_? Well, I'd be a billionaire for every time you've tried to kill me EVER!"  
"Oh yeah?!" Calvin slapped Hobbes. "I bet I'd be a billionaire times infinity!"  
"LIES!"  
"Are NOT!"  
  
The fight went on for several moments. Soon, however, both parties gave up and seperated.  
  
"BAH!" A scratched-up Calvin kicked the ground. "You traitor. I hope that Callous guy shoots you with that golden gun."  
"Fat chance," Hobbes spat. "I took it, remember?"  
".....Oh yeah!" Calvin's face brightened up. "Thats right, huh?"  
"But we're not using it yet." Hobbes stuck his tongue out. "Only for emergencies."  
"But...." Calvin's eyes widened. "The guards will be here any minute! We'll be trapped like sardines!"  
"That's why...." Hobbes pointed. "We're going through _there_."  
  
Calvin looked at where his companion pointed, and for a moment, could not believe his eyes. In front of them was a giant vent, spewing dust and dirt into the hall.  
  
"Let's go through _there!_" Hobbes scrambled to his feet. "Come on! They won't detect us."  
"Wh-whaa?" Calvin stared at the vent. "You want to go in that?!"  
"Come on!" The next thing Calvin knew, Hobbes was pulling of the vent. "Let's get in here before the guards find us!"  
"But...." Calvin looked around. "We'll get dirty!"  
  
At that, Hobbes' head whipped back around at Calvin. His expression was one of surprise, fear and horror.  
  
"WHAT?!" Hobbes' eyes were as wide as basketballs. "You, of ALL PEOPLE! How can you be disgusted at getting dirty?!"  
  
Calvin gave a blink at this. He looked down, his eyes slit.  
  
"Hmm..." At this, he leaped up onto the edge of the vent. "Good question. Maybe it was a moment of weakness in my crusade against baths."  
"At this point," Hobbes lifted him in the rest of the way, taking up the vent door as he slid in. "I'm beginning to think you have more of those than excuses."  
"Hey! I don't make excuses!"  
"There's another one...."  
  
And so the two argued as Hobbes slammed the vent door behind him. Their arguing continued, echoing through the venting, for several more minutes.  
  
Even though they shouted in a loud manner, anyone looking for them would have been hard-pressed to actually find them. Their side of the building had no one, save Callous, who was too busy screaming orders to find Hobbes into his communicator to actually rationally go and chase after him. As it was, there was too much confusion, and too much smoke everywhere else, for an effective chase to be organized. There was a gun battle going on, between Callous' men and the S.W.A.T.-clad men and women who raided the complex. Had Calvin known about it, he would have stayed behind to watch the action.  
  
"AUUUUGH!"  
"Retreat!!!" One man shouted. "There's too many! We must retreat!"  
"No!" One man shouted. "We can't retreat! The fate of the country is in our hands! They're defending the sector in a formation, so the tiger must be at the end of this hallway!"  
  
The gun battle went on for almost an hour more after that. Little changed for either side for quite some time. The S.W.A.T.s would fire, and in retaliation, Calous' soldiers would fire back. Them, the S.W.A.T.s would fire again, and again in retaliation Callous' men returned fire. As a result, the action became cyclical, almost comical. Some property was damaged in this, and several men and women fell both in honor of their country and for their renegade leader, though a lot of this was due to tripping over themselves; the hall was relatively small. Fortunately for the sake of the gun battle's integrity, some men did fall by actually being shot.   
  
Slowly and surely, however, the gun battle began to turn towards the S.W.A.T. teams that began converging in on the tiger's supposed location. One by one, they managed to mow down the men in the corridor, though this took time and effort. Soon, however, every one of Callous' men lay dead or wounded, and at the end of the hall was a large metal door.   
  
"All right!" A cheer went up from the group. "WOOO!"  
"Ok, guys," One of them, the group leader, motioned towards the door. "Let's go in and save the tiger!"  
  
Quickly, the men and women knocked down the door that the defenders had been slowly surrounding. As soon as they entered through, however, their cries of victory instantly died out and were replaced by questioning noises of surprise. Their looks were soon those of complete confusion.  
  
"Huh?" Slowly, several of the S.W.A.T.S furthered entered the room. One of them flipped on the lights. "Stand back, everyone..."  
  
The confused looks turned into stares of horror. The room they had entered - which, for various reasons, including the fact that it was guarded, they thought would be an important room - was little more than a closet. Hanging from the wall was a large paper covered with words written in spray paint.  
  
**_HA HA HA._**, The sign said. **_YOU FELL FOR DIVERSION B: THE JANITOR'S CLOSET. FOR FBI AGENTS, YOU ARE REALLY STUPID. P.S. YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES._**  
  
"...Wha?"  
  
Several moments passed as the agents looked at one another, puzzled by the meaning of what was going on. Finally, a light burst in on one of the agents, and they piped up.  
  
"Hey....elderberries!" Everyone turned to look at him. "That's Monty Python!"  


**__**

*BROOOOOOOOOOOOP! BROOOOOOOOOP! *

  
  
Suddenly, a loud alarm went off, and the next thing everyone knew, the door to the closet slammed shut.  
  
"AAAH!!!!"  
  
The screams of the four trapped S.W.A.T.s caused everyone else to freeze in fear for the moment. On top of the alarm, the quickly shut door had surprised them with its own loud clatter, and several of the team had to check to ensure their hearts were still beating in the proper rhythm.  
**  
"Intruder alert."  
  
**"My...god!!!" The leader of the team was one of those trapped inside the closet. Quickly, he slammed on the door. "MEN! RUN AWAY!! RETREAT!!"  
  
At this, a strange green gas began to fill inside the closet, and the leader pounded harder on the door.  
  
"SIR!!" One of the men shouted. "We've got to get you out!"  
"No!!" Leader began to cough as he shouted back. "Get out with yourself! Tell Periwinkle abou-"  
  
The shouting was interrupted by the sound of gunfire at the end of the hall. With a shout, the S.W.A.T. team ducked down, pacing themselves towards one of the doors, a fire escape. Each of the remaining S.W.A.T.s had an extra obstacle in the dead men that lay on the floor, which they had to crawl over. This also slowed their reaction time.  
  
"Every man for themselves!!" One of the men gave a curse as a bullet richoceted right over his head. "Auugh, this was such a crap mission!"  
  
The men whom worked for Callous fired off rounds, their aim missing the S.W.A.T.s as they all escaped through on of the doors. Some of the men, however, began to laugh, and soon all of Callous' men were laughing at the utter ridiculousness of the situation.   
  
"FBI agents!" They smirked and laughed. "Haha! Look at 'em running home for mommy!"  
"Wusses!"  
"We'll make sure to give you the guided tour next time! Nyaahahaha!"  
  
When the last one ran through, the sprinkler system went off, and the laughter was replaced by fits of sputtering.  
  
"Huuuk! Uugh!" The leader of the men, a tall, muscular man, gave a growl. "Should have figured the used the damn fire escape."  
"Piss-offs!" One of the men shook his head of the water. "Ptui! Come on, sir, let's finish those chicken Federal Bureau assholes off once and for all!"  
"No." A hand went in front of the man. "Callous' orders. Let them run with their tails in between their legs." With that, the batallion leader gave a smirk. "All the better not to have any more dead bodies on our hands, huh?"  
  
With that, the men slowly made their way through the wetness, and the cache of bodies, to the janitor closet. With a hard pull, the leader opened the door. The water from the hall gushed over the unconscious bodies of the four agents. Small tufts of green gas still vented from above, though the leader simply smiled at this.  
  
"This is enough for now." He picked up one of the bodies. "Come on, let's clean this mess up."  
**  
---------------------  
  
**"FREE!"  
  
The vent door flew out onto the ground below, and tumbling out after were two very black masses of dirt. One was furry, and was tumbling out in a ball; the other, shorter one was bouncing out irratically.  
  
"Wow! Hahaha!" Calvin landed in a puff of dust and dirt. "Now, THAT is something to tell everyone at home!"  
"Yes...." Hobbes disgustedly tried to wipe himself off, to no avail. "Being attacked by an insane man and getting extremely dirty trying to escape is my idea for a good story."  
"Isn't it, though?"  
"Apparently, it hasn't occurred to you..." Hobbes took a piece of lint out of his ear. "That if we go back home, they'll just go and catch us again. Besides which, I have no clue how to get home to begin with."  
"That's simple!" Calvin began to run. "We'll just ask a gas attendant. Gas attendants know everything!"  
"Indeed..."  
  
Hobbes could only give a sigh and slink after Calvin as he ran across the concrete blacktop. They were on the side of the complex, and they were close to a large metal fence.  
  
"I wonder what my friends would say when I got home...." Calvin jumped up onto the fence, grunting as he climbed. "....and told them I was a spy!"  
"Hmm...." Hobbes stared at the fence for a moment before bringing his paw up. His claws sprung out. "Yes, a lot of questions are going to pop up."  
  
With a quick slash and swipe, the fence was sliced up into hundreds of tiny little pieces. With a shrug, Hobbes walked through the hole he created and stared up at Calvin, who was struggling to get higher up on the climbing.  
  
"You know, there's barbed-wire up there."  
"I know that, doofu-HEY!" Calvin noticed the hole and jumped off. "How'd you do that?"  
"How do you think I did it?" Hobbes put his hands to his hips as Calvin walked through. "I have the mandibles of death, remember?"  
"Having mandibles has nothing to do with your claws!" Calvin pointed to Hobbes' face. "Your mandibles are your teeth!"  
"Right..." Hobbes glared at Calvin as he walked off. "Sorry I didn't know the difference."  
  
Calvin gave a snort as he ran off onto the street, looking at the sky as he did. It was clear and blue, and the sun was still high in the sky; Calvin assumed that it was about mid-afternoon. With a deep breath, he excitedly clapped his hands, nodding, while Hobbes looked on, sighing as the boy snickered.   
  
Neither noticed the large shadow that was suddenly approaching them from the rear.  
  
"What are you laughing about?"  
"I'm just laughing...." Calvin gave a smirk. "As to how I'm going to tell the class about this. Should I put in one nuclear explosion or two?"  
"What?!" Hobbes looked at Calvin with a disapproving look. "Why put anything in at all?!"  
"It makes it sound cool!" Calvin rolled his eyes. "Now, just tell me your opinion. Should the nuclear explosion happen before we meet that Callous, guy, or after?"  
"Muh."  
"....I didn't get that."   
"Mmmuh!"  
"What?" Calvin gave a frown as he turned around. "Hobbes, its either 'before' or 'after'. No a big...."  
  
Calvin's voice trailed off as he stared at Hobbes' spot. There was no Hobbes.  
  
"....deal? Hobbes?" Calvin's eyes slowly crimped. "Hobbes! Where did you go?!......Stupid tiger..."  
  
Calvin turned around to see if Hobbes was on the other side of his body. As he did, seeing that Hobbes wasn't around him, he wondered, deep down (though he would never admit it) what Hobbes really was. It wasn't something he had actually thought about, with the memory-erasing and the lasers and the computers and the vent. Now, however, the excitement had worn down, and the question remained.  
  
_I don't get it._ Calvin's head-turning became more fantic. _Why doe they want Hobbes? Why do they keep calling him Porcleain Tiger? And if he's what they say he is, how come the chowderhead do-HUH?!_  
  
Calvin suddenly gave a cry, and grunt, as he suddenly felt something pass through his neck. The pain was fleeting, and the cold steel left his neck as quickly as it had gotten there. Yet Calvin suddenly felt tired for some reason as a result.  
  
_Hobbes...._ Calvin stumbled and fell to the ground. _Uuuugh, not......again........Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz........_  
  
---------------------  
  
As Calvin's limp body went up and down with drug induced sleep, the shadow picked him up quietly and quickly. On the shadow's other shoulder was Hobbes, also asleep, and mumbling words under his breath.  
  
"Muuuuh...." There came a snore. "I....see dea.......pepl.......buuuuh....."  
"At last." Quickly, the shadow turned and walked towards a black car. The shouts of the S.W.A.T.s could be heard in the distance. "I finally have you, Porcelain Tiger."


	9. Intermission Thingy

"And now, for something completely different!"  
  
Calvin sat in a box, giggling insanely. Outside of it was Hobbes, shaking his head violently.  
  
"No, no, no!" Hobbes turned away. "I won't do it! Not again!"  
"Yes you will!"  
"No, I will not!"  
"Come on, Hobbes!" Calvin scrunched up as much as he could towards the front. "I want to do it! I need to write my book report!"  
  
At this, Hobbes gave Calvin a suspicious look. He put his hands on his hips, his tail wagging slowly.  
  
"So...how is going back in time going to help you write a book report?"  
"Nope! This is no time machine!" Calvin patted the side of the box. TIME MACHINE was scribbled out, replaced by UNTRA-DEMENSHUNAL BOOK QUADRILATER MODULE. "With my latest invention, we can just zap ourselves into the book, watch and look at what happens like a movie, write down the important parts, and ZIP! All done!"  
"I'm not liking this idea one bit...."  
"A Tale of Two Cities....BAAH! Boing!" Calvin picked up, then tossed the book aside in disgust. "Who needs to read when you can be _in_ the book?! It sponsors an interactive, hands-on approach to literature that not even  
3-D can give! And besides...." At this Calvin turned away, adjusting a knob. "I need you for protection. You have to scare off the crazy revolutionists."  
"Hmp, no. I won't do it." Hobbes started to walk away. "Not after _last_ time."   
"But it _WORKS!_"  
"Does it work like your movie dimensional transporter trip into 'Leave the Breasts to Me'?" Hobbes stuck his nose in the air. "I don't trust your dimensional transporters after that."  
"Well....that...." Calvin paused. "_That_ was a complete accident."  
"Sure it was."  
"Come on, you sourpuss!" Calvin sulked. "Do I have to bribe you to get into this box?"  
  
At this, Hobbes' ears picked up, and he abruptly stopped walking. His tail began to lash greedily, and his head turned back towards the boy in the box.  
  
"Depeeends...." There was an opportunistic smirk on his face as he said this, ".....on the bribe."  
"GRRR! You....fine!" Calvin turned red. "Ok, how's this....You get to read the comics first."  
"But for how long?" Hobbes' smile seemed more evil by the minute. "I must exact specific specifications from you to ensure the bargain is far and just."  
"ARGH! You annoying...!" Calvin snarled. "Ok, a week!"  
"Nope."  
"Two weeks?"  
"If lobbying was equated to soup, yours is thinner than Grandma's Pea Soup Surprise."  
"A MONTH!" By this point, Calvin was jumping. "How do you like that?! FOUR WEEKS! Four weeks of me being DEPRIVED OF-"  
"Calvin?"  
  
Everything instantly froze at the sound of the female voice. Instinctively, Calvin leaped out of the box and shoved it into the closet.  
  
"Um...."The boy began to sweat. "Yes, mommy?"  
"What are you doing up there?" The voice was by the stairwell. "Are you making a mess again?"  
"Um...." Calvin looked around frantically. "Um...I'm doing......my homework?"  
"Well, keep it down." The voice faded out. "Your father's doing work...."  
"See?" Hobbes mumbled. "No matter what, you get in trouble."  
"Bah!" Calvin opened the closet door. "You know nothing."  
  
Hobbes watched as Calvin hopped back into the box inside the closet, adjusting knobs and switches. Each passing moment caused Hobbes' eye to twitch more and more, until finally he gave a growl.  
  
"Of all the...!" Dejected, he hopped into the back of the box. "Why I'm doing this, I'll never know."  
  
---------------  
  
"So whats the book?"  
"A Tale of Two Cities."  
"Charle Dickens?" The box cruised through a tunnel filled with flashing lights and howling wind. "Isn't that a little advanced for the first grade?"  
"You don't know Miss Wormwood, Hobbes!" Calvin grumbled. "She's willing to do _anything_ to make me suffer! What worse is that she has parental consent to do it!"  
"Coming from you, every problem in the world is caused by your parents."  
"Well, then the solution is obvious, isn't it?"  
"Whatever." Hobbes made a face. "Let's just get this over with, huh? 'Friends' is on in a half hour."  
  
Calvin grunted as he turned back to twisting knobs and dials. There was a sputter, then a cough, and the next thing Hobbes knew he was pinned to the back of the box.  
  
"Trans-dimensional warp...." Calvin pressed a red button, and white light surrounded them. "ACTIVATE!!!!!!!"  
  
The box shook for a moment before shooting out into an ethereal darkness. Hobbes almost threw up as the box tumbled over itself like a balloon running out of air. Then, all of a sudden, the lurching stopped.  
  
"Hey! HEY!" Hobbes was suddenly shaken by the boy. "Come on! Sissy, that wasn't bad!"  
"Of course not." Hobbes looked around. "Now where in the book.....are.....we?"  
  
Hobbes opened his eyes, finding himself blinded by a bright green light. As soon as his sight adjusted, he found himself in the middle of a lush green forest. It was filled with large, green-leaved trees, and soft dirt, and brown pathways dotted with patched sidewalk. Lush green hills and mountains were far into the distance, just past a shimmering, azure blue lake. Up in the sky, the bright yellow sun beamed down wamr rays; birds and small woodland animals streaked by the box in frolicking bliss. A soft, upbeat music filled the air.  
  
"This.....is.....beautiful." Hobbes squinted, his eyes searching the distance. "Beautiful...like paradise....but where's Paris?"  
"Paris?"  
"Or London..." Hobbes' head searched over. "You know, the two cities?"  
"Who cares where they are?!" Calvin jumped out of the box. "This is perfect!! Lush trees! Animals galore!....."  
"....A mad scientist destroying the forest." Hobbes peered over the horizon. "Yes, a perfect story.....HEEEEEEY, waitaminute......"  
  
Hobbes gave a growl as Calvin looked over, and indeed, there was a mad scientist over to his right. He was inside a metal hovercraft, hanging right over a large black mechanism with arm mechanisms and leg thingies (as Calvin could not describe them in any better way), laughing inanely and flinging his hands over his head. All around him, animals were being grabbed by the arms and stuffed inside the black machine by the hundreds.  
  
"Hahahaha!" The scientist, a rotund middle-aged man, shook his fists. "Soon, all of the forest shall be enslaved in my power, and no one will be able to stop me once I acquire the power of.....THE **CHAOS EMERALDS!**"  
  
At this, Calvin made an arm movement of victory before jumping up and down with glee with shouts. Hobbes, still sitting in the box, looked around at the scene with increasing suspicion.  
  
"You know...." The tiger cast a glare. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think we were in a video game."  
"What makes you say that, Einstein?" Calvin snickered.   
"Oh, I don't know....." Hobbes' glare became dark. "Aside from the fat egg-shaped mad scientist and perfectly geometric loop-de-loop ramps in the distance? I don't know if Revolution-era Paris had any of those..."  
"Who cares about Charles Dickens when you can take over the world in a video game manual?!" Before Hobbes could protest, Calvin was zipping across tthe scenery towards the large robot. "Let's see if I can convince him to let me take over his evil empire!"  
"Hey, wait a minute-!"  
  
Hobbes held up a finger in protest, then gave a huff of resignation. He crossed his arms, sat back down in the box and stared at the cardboard.  
  
"Why does he always do this to me?" He mumbled. "Every night, he goes off without doing anything he's supposed to, and drags _me_ with him! Then when he gets in trouble, who does he blame?....An unfair life I lead here! This is the fourth time he's gone to this place....I bet he was planning on coming here the whole time...!"  
  
As he spoke, a gust of wind began to blow over the trees. Suddenly, Hobbes and the box were sent flying into the air, landing several feet away from its original location and skidding several more.  
  
"ARGH! Just my-"  
"Oh!" There was another gust of wind, and Hobbes found himself staring back at a short blue creature. "Oh, I.....I didn't see you."  
"Huh!" After a moment, a light went in Hobbes' head. "Oh...Sonic! Hi, didn't expect you here so quick."  
"Well, this _is_ my home." Sonic the Hedgehog leaned against the box. "So, what brings you here to South Island this time, old friend?"  
"Do I need to give you guesses?" Hobbes rolled his eyes. "He's procrastinating on _another_ school assignment."  
"Hmm....shame there." Sonic rubbed his nose. "What assignment?"  
"A book."  
"Oh, he....got in through the manual." Sonic stretched. "So, what book?"  
"A Tale of Two Cities."  
"Dickens?" Sonic's eyes widened. "Heey, I love Dickens!"  
"You do?"  
"Yeah!" Suddenly, Sonic jumped into the box right next to Hobbes. "Yeah, I was the Ghost of Christmas Past in _A Christmas Carol_!"  
"Hey, so was Calvin! How coincidental!" Hobbes looked back at the scientist and gave a moan. "Uuugh, he's really going to go and try to take over the world..."  
"Baah, he won't succeed." Sonic fiddled with the box controls. "Let him fail! I wanna read this book!"  
"Um...ok...."  
  
With that, the box suddenly sputtered to life, and the two were gone in a puff of light.  
  
-----------------  
  
"Soo...." The box whirled around once more in the vortex. "What does Calvin have to do for his book report?"  
"He has to write a summary of the story and illustrate a picture of his favorite moment."  
"That shouldn't be too hard!" The box shuddered violently again, and the two animals were back in Calvin's closet. "I'm a bad artist, so it should be easy for me to make my stuff look like Calvin's."  
"Yeah, but we have to hurry." The tiger and the hedgehog jumped out of the box. "We don't want Calvin to be in there too long, or else his mom's going to worry."  
"No problem!"  
  
With that, the hedgehog took the book up from where it was on the floor, and gave a whistle as he flipped through the pages. He nodded and hopped up onto a chair.  
  
"That's a long book!" To Hobees' surprise, Sonic took out some paper and a pencil. "I think I'm ready to start."  
"Woah...wait!" Hobbes gasped. "You finished the book _already_!"  
"Of course!" Sonic scribbled Calvin's name on the paper and held it to Hobbes. "They don't call me the fastest thing alive for nothing. Say, does this look like Calvin's writing?"  
"Hmm..."Hobbes examined. "Yeah. Perfect."  
"Great!" Sonic scribbled more. "This is a cinch. I wonder why Calvin never does his homework?"  
"Because he's lazy."  
"Hmm..." Sonic gave a nod. "I should make a note of that as I try to write this as he would......there. All finished!"  
"That was quick." Hobbes looked over the report. "Hmm...."  
  
**_Calvin  
January 18  
Book Report  
  
A Tale of Two Cities  
  
This book wus total garbage. I never thought I'd have to read this, but I had to, and it wuz garbage!  
  
The plot wus stupid. The characters wure stupid. And the end, it was stupid two!  
  
The only part of the story I liked was the chopping off heads parts. And when the Tiger Lady and Missy Prissy fought in the river and shot one anuthur. That was a totally cool part! They should make that part into a movie, becuse theyll make a million dollars! Or even a billion!  
  
But the rest of it was stupid, and I'm never going to reed it again!  
  
Sincerly,  
  
Calvin._**  
  
"WOW!" Hobbes' head nodded up and down for approval. "That is _on-spot_!"  
"Thank you." Sonic pointed the pencil at Hobbes. "Now, I need you to pose for me."  
"Huh? Why?"  
"I need to draw the Tiger Lady."  
"What?"  
"I have to make the illustration, right?" Sonic stuck a thumb up in examination. "I must put the Tiger Lady and Missy Prisy in it, because its the part we liked best. I need a model for the tiger."  
"Oh, oh, right." At this, Hobbes looked around. "Hmm...this may take awhile. You want a sandwich?"  
"Sure!" Sonic beamed. "I'm actually kind of hungry. What kinds have you got?"  
  
--------------------  
  
The room smelled of tuna as Sonic finally finished the picture.  
  
"There!" Sonic beamed. "That is a masterpiece. You were a great model, Hobbes."  
  
Hobbes nodded in agreement. The image consisted of two writhing figures - one a tiger, one a hedgehog - with inked-in boobs. Both held machine guns, and both had captions over them that read "KILL!" The background was red, scribbled in with crayon. At the bottom were the words "MY FAVERIT CAPSHUN".  
  
"Perfect." Hobbes quickly took the picture and put it together with the report. "But we'd better hurry. We've got to get Calvin out of your world so his mother won't be asking questions."  
"I'm surprised she didn't ask questions already!" The two hopped into the box. "I mean, a talking blue hedgehog and a talking stuffed tiger. And we walked right past her!"  
"Well, you know how Calvin's mother is." The box shuddered and disappeared into the vortex. "She's seen _everything_. We don't faze her."  
  
---------------------  
  
***BOOM!***  
  
"Well, we're here!" The box landed back in the forest. "I wonder where Calvin is?"  
"Probably been killed or maimed." Sonic sniffed, then opened his eyes as he hopped out of the box. "Oh, wait, maybe not."  
"No?"  
"No, he...." Sonic sniffed again. "Huh. He's right behind us. Wow, he was easy to sniff out!"  
"Yeah. Hobbes turned. "Dirty little boys usually are."  
  
Calvin stood several feet from the box, a snarl on his face. He was covered from head to toe in soot and oil, the latter which dripped off of him. Without another word, he sulked into the box. glaring at the controls.  
  
"Hum." Hobbes winked at Sonic. "I guess your conquest did not work as planned?"  
"Shut up!" Calvin snarled. "Let's just get out of here. I have to d that stupid report."  
  
Sonic chuckled and waved as the box shuddered and disappeared out of sight. With a smirk on his face, Hobbes stretched as the box reappeared into the vortex.  
  
"Well, if you're so intent on that report...." Hobbes yawned. "I'll have you know Sonic did it for you. Its all done."  
"What?!" Calvin swerved to look at the tiger. "He....he did my _homework_?!"  
"He sure did." Hobbes had a smile of satisfection on his face. "He read the book, wrote the report and even made a picture for it. You don't have to do a thing."  
"Hey! Cool!!!!" The box shot out of the vortex, re-appearing again in the closet. "Hehe! And not a single moment of work on my hands! I can't _wait_ to turn my homework in!!"  
  
_Epilogue, Kind Of_  
  
The next day, Hobbes was laying on Calvin's bed, reading Calvin's comics, when the bedroom door flung open. Standing in the frame was Hobbes.  
  
"Good afternoon!" Hobbes gave a smile. "How did school go today?"  
  
Calvin gave no reply. With a red face. he held up his book report. On it was the largest F Hobbes had ever seen on any of the boy's assignments.  
  
"Hmm...oh, thats too bad." Hobbes went back to reading. "Maybe next time you'll do your own work, hmm?"  
  
Calvin's face turned even redder at this. With a tantrumed scream, he threw the papers to the floor and jumped on them.  
  
"ARRRRRGH!" If Sonic had been there to see it, Hobbes knew he would have laughed at the irony. "**I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!!!!**"  
  
DNE Intermission 


	10. Chapter 5 & Three Fourths

****

Ch. V & 3/4  
  
The sun was well on its way to setting in the capital city as Callous began his walk down the hall.  
  
_He's gone._  
  
The footsteps under his feet were like heavy anvils over a duck in a cartoon. He knew full well what he had to do; naturally, he didn't want to do it. But there were others, others who had to know of what happened.  
  
_I must tell them._ Callous reached the end of the hall. _I have my safeties, I have my contingencies ready for them, but it is the tiger they want. I know these men well._  
  
The thought of facing the men weighed heavily on the deputy director's heart as he walked into the room that awaited him. This one was circular, similar to that of the room where Callous attempted to wipe the Porcelain Tiger's memory. This one, however, was smaller, and instead of many computer towers lining the wall, only one large tower with "B.A.D." stood. Most of the space in the room was taken up by a large screen.  
  
"Biochemical Agents Division Satellite." Callous sucked in a breath. "Log-in Arthur Callous. Password: smelly."  
"**Welcome to Knock Knock Network, Arthur Callous.**"  
  
The screen bliped and went black for a moment after Callous fell silent. It then crackled to life again, this time with four windows popping up, each with the shadowed silhouette of a head.  
  
"This meeting is now in order." Callous looked at each silhouette, his head throbbing with fear. "This is Arthur Callous, President of the B.A.D., deputy director of the Cetral Intelligence Agency, Washington, United States of America, logging in."  
"**Welcome, Callous. Log in Papu Atrava,**" the first silhouette dissipated, revealing a young-looking middle-aged Russian man, with only flecks of grey hair to account for his age. "**Leader of the Russian Communist Party, head of Novgogrod Oils and the Mafia Corps, Moscow, Independent Commonwealth of Russia.**"  
"**Logging in Harim den-Abdala.**" The second silhouette revealed a dark-skinned Arabic man. "**Pakistani section leader of Al-Queda, treasurer and fourteenth in command under the great bin Laden. Owner of the Burqua Bar and Grill chain in southern Afghanistan in shadow, location currently in secret.**"  
"**Anatole Johnson, log in.**" The next screen showed a dark-skinned man, with a slight French accent. "**Commander of the rebellion in Duutyoogotadele providence, diamond dealer to the west, Maikrow Sowfta, Duutyoogotadele, Nigeria.**"  
"**Taichi Hamara**." The fourth man, a Japanese man, appeared on the last screen. "**Second in command of the Kyoto City yakuza, co-owner of the prized Yagyu bull herds. Logging in from Kyoto, Japan.**"  
"**This meeting of the heads of Operation Knock Knock shall come to order.**"  
  
Callous gave a gulp as the four men - each from different parts of the world, all with the same ambition as he - stared at him.  
  
"**You arranged this meeting, Mr. Callous.**" Abdala gave a smirk. "**We all know what it is about. Perhaps you can tell us how progress with the Porcelain Tiger is going?**"  
"It is...." Callous looked nervous. "...going well."  
"**Going well?**"  
"Better than well." Callous nodded nervously as he slumped into his chair. "There are a few problems that have come up, but they were expected."  
"**We see.**" There were nods all around. "**So, you have found Porcelain Tiger?**"  
"Yes."  
"**You have proceeded to initiate the re-integration?**"  
"Yes."  
"**Is it done?**"  
".....No."   
"**No**?"  
"Well....." Callous' fear began to rise. "You....you see, gentlemen.......I am going to have to postpone his re-integration.....if not....cancel it."  
"**WHAT?**"  
  
The widened eyes of all of the men almost caused Callous to stand back from the glares. The looks of shock and indignation instantly bore into Callous. In response, Callous shut his eyes and almost let out a whimper of fear.  
  
"**I thought we had an arrangement, Mr. Callous**." The Russian man on the screen stared expressionlessly. "**Operation Knock Knock would resume once the tiger was found.**"  
"Mr. Atrava." Callous began to feel the sweat on his brow. "There is a problem with the tiger. He has been compromised."  
"**Compromised**?"  
"**But you told us everything was going well.**"  
"It _was_ going well.....until two hours ago." Callous shook slightly. "Because....he escaped again."  
  
There was a sudden silence at this sudden admission. Every face on the screen was staring at Callous with increased apprehension as the minutes went by. As the minutes went by, however, Callous' fear began to sweep away, replaced with anger. He knew full well who would be blamed for the mishap, but he knew full will whose fault it really was.  
  
_That damn kid..._  
  
"**Mr. Callous…**" After a moment, the dark man spoke. "**This is a disappointing development. I thought this would have been a much better piece of news you were giving us.**"  
"Yes, I know. And the mission has been compromised as a result." Callous stood up. "Also, because of other.....unforseen problems, the attempt to retrieve Porcelain Tiger has failed miserably. The BSSM system was destroyed as a result." Callous' voice was heavy. "There is only one recourse left now, and you all know what that is."  
"**....No.**"  
"What?!"  
  
Callous' eyes widened at the response. He knew he who was dealing with, but he never realized their true resolve to finish the job until now.  
  
"Why…"  
"**You cannot destroy him.**" The blunt response came from Abdala. "**He has not completed the jobs we have set for him.**"  
"That's the _point_!" Callous recovered from his shock, feeling his anger rise at the men's refusal to budge. "There is no way to complete the job with Porcelain Tiger! We need to change the plan!"  
"**You apparently do not understand, _Callous-san_.**" This time, the Japanese man, Hamara, spoke up. "**My boss, Yakuza Takazori, invested two million dollars into Operation Knock Knock so that the reinstating of the Emperor's divinity could move swifter. So that our enemies could be disposed of.**"  
"**And I, Mr. Callous,**" The dark man, Johnson spoke up. "**The government of Duutyoogotadele invested almost five million dollars so that we may break away from Nigeria and create the perfect democracy. We have yet to see any progress in our war with the Porcelain Tiger.**"  
"**And I, Arthur.**" This time, Atrava stood up as he spoke. "**Myself and Mr. Abdala have each served you ten million dollars so that the Eastern Alliances may depose of the corrupt governments of our countries, Russia and Pakistan….once _you_ were finished.**"  
"You think you are the only ones to have lost money on this?" Callous growled. "I know! But there is nothing more that I am able to do with the Porcelain Tiger!"  
"**It is more than just monetary considerations.**" All of the men glared at him. "**You don't understand that there is much mo-**"  
"No, _you_ don't understand!" Callous almost stomped his foot. His mouth began to foam at the edges. "You don't understand, because there is no other choice! I put my heart, and millions of dollars of my own money as well - fourty million dollars, to be exact - into finding Porcelain Tiger. I put my best agents on the job and prepared for almost seven years for the rehabilitation it would have taken to get him back on track with our plans. And what did it get me? It took seventeen years - _seventeen years_! - and the lives of several of my men - to learn that my perfect soldier has been turned into a stupid, worthless plush toy by an obnoxious little six year old brat who has the gall to thumb his dirty little fingers at me - **_ME_**!!!!!"  
  
The outburst was brief. Callous managed to calm himself down quickly, but it wasn't easy. He took several deep breaths before continuing.  
  
"We cannot use him." He looked at each and every person on every screen, his voice calmer. "He's been destroyed. The mission has been compromised. And either way….." He looked slowly down. "In some ways, even as I abhorred the idea, I had also anticipated it. Your money was not all spent on the Porcelain Tiger; we have been at work on a second animal soldier for several years."  
"**Oh?**" The realization that their money had not gone completely to waste put a surprised expression on everyone's face. "**And which animal was this?**"  
"You are about to find out."  
  
As if on cue, a door opened behind Callous, and a man dressed in white came in. Quickly, he put a cage on the console. Then, he left, though not before giving the men on a screen a quick bow. With a dark smile, Callous brought the cage so that all of them could see what was inside.  
  
"I present to you…..the Talc Powder Rabbit!"  
  
The rabbit was little more than a baby, one that was less than a week old. Yet all over its white body were tiny wires, clips and needles, all connected to a tube filled with a yellow substance.  
  
"The steroids will begin to alter its body and mind to engage in specific human-like movements in several days." The men on the screen stared hungrily at shivering, obviously frightened little baby rabbit. "The process of the steroids my people have managed to refine, so the genetic altercations are self-created by the rabbit's body. Within the month, it will be ready to engage in the proper practices to ensure its full potential." The American looked up at the screens. "Operation Knock Knock can be up and running again, and going through the phases that we spoke of, in two months. Do I still have your support - as well as your permission to dispose of our faulty parts?"  
  
-------------------------  
  
Callous left the room, slowly wiping his forehead in relief. He looked at the man who had brought the rabbit in, his eyes almost glaring.  
  
"Thank god I had foresight." The CIA's deputy director almost plopped the cage into the man's hand. "I just had the feeling…"  
"Sir," The man nearly dropped the cage catching it. "Is the plan still in operation? I mean, we have the second subject, but…"  
"The plan must stay in the operation." Callous walked by. The man quickly followed. "You must understand, this plan has been in motion for more than 20 years. Ever since Atrava allied his cells to us, we have always had to keep a double face to our government."  
"But aren't we answerable to the government still?" The man objected. "I mean, what about the CIA?"  
"We are not." Callous turned to the man, his eyes stern. "This division is privately funded. It always has been. It is simply that no one outside of this realize _who_ has been funding it."  
"I thought no one knew about it, period."  
"…..Never mind that." Callous waved his hand. "Take him away."  
"Yes, sir."   
  
Callous stared at the wall as the man quickly shuffled off with the frightened rabbit in tow. His eyes were blank with many emotions; disbelief, anger, relief, and determination were among them. With silence he walked down the hall.  
  
_Calvin._ The name echoed through his mind with the strength of a mallet. _That boy…..nothing but a thorn in my side. He will be stopped. And the Porcelain Tiger…..him, too. It is a pity. But it must be done._  
  
Finally, he came to another hallway, and turning to the right, he came to the end of the hall. A stone door met him.  
  
"Are you in there?" He shouted.  
  
Quickly, a man came out. He was dark-skinned, very similarly to the Arabic man. With a nod, the man stood in front of Callous and closed the door.  
  
"We managed to get four."  
"Good." Callous nodded. "This will be good. This attack will not be forgiven."  
  
With another nod, the dark-skinned man walked back into the room. The door closed with a heavy thud that echoed into the hall.  
  
_Periwinkle…._ Callous stared at the door. _You have gone one step too far this time…._  
  



	11. Chapter 6

****

Chapter 6

Calvin the spy, the world's most debonair agent, has been on the warpath against..................Uuuugh........  
  
The light burned into Calvin's slowly opening eyes. Before, in his mind, there had been nothing but a hazy black. As he awoke, however, the light seemed almost harsh, thought he could not understand why.  
  
"Hmm...?" A distant female voice echoed into his ears. "....Oh!........Sir.........awake!"  
"Right......"  
  
There was a lifting sensation, as well as one of movement. Calvin's vision slowly came into focus; the next thing he knew, he was on something soft.  
  
"No." A large hand went on his shoulder. "Steady. The dose will wear off on its own; don't rush yourself or you'll get a headache."  
"Buhhh..?"  
"I drugged you." Calvin's head registered what the voice, one with a deep male tone, was saying, but only slowly and sluggishly did Calvin react. "Steady; I'll explain. For now, let the drug wear off."  
  
Calvin could only nod in agreement. He was wary of what was going on, as the recent experience with Callous had made him less trusting of the adults he figured he would have to cross. At least that would have been the case with this new voice; there were two things that prevented a speedy escape. The first was that the voice Calvin was now hearing was far kinder than that of Callous'. The second was that he felt like a 700-pound snail, and as such couldn't move as it was.  
  
"There....." The surroundings materialized around him; he was inside a whitewashed office. "He's coming out of it. As I told you, Hobbes, in this situation my word is my bond."  
"Hoobbes...?"  
  
Calvin's head bobbed around, slowly searching for the tiger. His eyes spotted him, but as his eyes were still out of focus, Hobbes came to look like a bright orange blob of fur.  
  
"Will he be ok?"  
"Of course. The drug I used is a simple compound.He'll only feel little groggy."  
"Well, I still don't get why you had to drug us." Hobbes' voice sounded cross. "If you were our friend, why would you have to drug us?"  
"I have my reasons."  
"Why not tell us."  
"I cannot. Not yet."  
"So, why should we trust you?"  
"Because." The voice lowered. "You and your human companion have no choice."  
  
A huff came from Hobbes at this, and as Hobbes paced Calvin's head began to clear up at a faster pace. It was indeed an office; it had a large desk, a large computer screen that took up one side of the room, several chairs and a lot of window space. Sitting at the desk, looking back at Calvin, was a man.   
  
_Eh?_ Calvin blinked. _Who's that?_  
  
The man Calvin was looking at could have been a complete opposite as the handsome but desperate and almost maniacal (at least in Calvin's eyes) Callous. This man was not so young-looking as Callous, nor was he as built, or as tall, or even as much of a presence. In fact, he was a thin old man that was almost going bald. But his eyes were not so hungry as Callous', and he seemed much more patient. Calvin almost trusted him on sight.   
  
_Almost_.  
  
"H-hobbes?"   
"Are you ok?"  
"Yes. Whatever he gave us is going away." Calvin moved his mouth around, finding that he could move it without feeling sluggish. "Huh! So you drugged us, buddy?"  
"....Yes." The man's stare did not dinimish. "Yes, I drugged you."  
"....Um..." Calvin gave the man another look. "....Mind if you not stare at me?"  
"Of course." To Calvin's surprise, the man turned away. "Not at all."  
"Thanks!" With that, Calvin jumped off the couch, he had been on, as it was a couch, and staggered around a bit. "Well, I don't know why you did it, but I don't think I've slept better!"  
  
There was a silence at this. It was not an angry silence, nor was it really that awkward. It was more of a contemplating silence.  
  
"Eheh......" Calvin looked at Hobbes sheepishly. "Well, buddy, I guess we owe you that much. But, you know, someone like me, I'm busy, you know? And my friend here-"  
"Is not going anywhere."  
"Eh?" Calvin's head whipped around. "Says who?"  
"Says _me._"  
"Well....." Calvin thumped his chest. "I'll have you know that the last time someone told me that, I found a vent and escaped riht through it!"  
"_EXCUSE_ me?" Calvin suddenly felt the stare, or rather the glare, of Hobbes on him. "_Who_ found that vent?"  
"I know what you and the Porcelain Tiger did." The voice was calm, like Callous's, thought it lacked the menace and foreboding that would have given Hobbes the urge to stab him. "I saw what happened. But regardless, you will not leave this room."  
"Oh yeah?" At this, Calvin gave a growl. "Why not?"  
"Because if you take one step outside," The man turned towards the window. "Hobbes will die."  
  
There was something in the man's voice that caused a shiver to run down Calvin's side. Even thought he was still angry at Hobbes for keeping his spy secret from him, Calvin suddenly felt a twinge of fear for the tiger. Even odder still was the fact that the man's voice almost implied that, unlike Callous, Hobbes wasn't going to die because of him.  
  
"That...." The man hesitated. "That, and this door locks from the outside."  
"...What? In danger?" Calvin looked at Hobbes. "Did he tell you this?"  
"No," Hobbes looked at the man. "But he did call me Porcelain Tiger just like Callous did. Though, he seems to get that my name is Hobbes too, and he gave me a can of tuna to eat while you were unconscious."  
"....Bleh." Calvin covered his nose. "I guess that explains something...."  
"You cannot leave." The man stood up. "I'm sorry, but you are still in the gravest of dangers. And, I have still not heard from the S.W.A.T.s who are missing."  
"S.W.A.T.s?" Hobbes' mouth dropped open. "For _me_?"  
"Yes."  
"Wha? Government people helping Hobbes? After they tried to.......I don't get it." Calvin rubbed his head. "What's going on? And what do you mean Hobbes is in danger? I thought we were out of there scotch free after we got out of that place!"  
"Indeed." Hobbes crossed his arms. "And I'd also like to know how you learned to acknowledge me as Calvin does when most others cannot...as well as this whole 'Porcelain Tiger' mess that concerns me. Otherwise this tiger will only speak to a lawyer, thank you very much."  
"I'm a lawyer." Calvin looked at Hobbes. "I speak for clients all the time."  
"I'm not talking about going against your mother."  
"……Say….." Calvin looked around. "I wonder…..I know this is totally off subject, but do you think that mom has even _noticed_ we're gone?"  
"That's the least of our problems-"  
"You want an explanation?"  
  
The man turned towards the window, his eyes scanning the sunset horizon of the sprawling city as he did. In his eyes, Hobbes noticed, was a look of pity, even fear.  
  
"All right," the man turned back around. "I'll explain."  
  
With that, the man got up and took his chair to the corner of the room. Getting up onto it he switched off a device that was on the ceiling, one that looked like a tiny spider.  
  
"Heheh…." Calvin pointed and began to whisper. "I say we knock the chair out from under him."  
"What would that accomplish?" Hobbes looked at Clavin. "Then he'd want to kill us."  
"Oh," The two jumped as the man sat next to him. "But any longing I may develop to kill you pales in comparison to that of Mr. Callous'. He's been wanting to get rid of you, at least if you didn't work anymore, for _years_, Porce…..Hobbes."  
"……Porcelain Tiger?" Hobbes crimped an eye. "You know, I'd like to know why they keep calling me 'Porcelain Tiger' and why they kept probing me, mister…and why they want to kill me now. Granted, I've been getting lots of wierd visions, and that memory thing Callous put me through did some stuff and put some stuff in me..."  
  
Hobbes' voice kind of trailed off at this. He looked up with an annoyed look and scratched his head.  
  
"Let me guess." His voice had some sarcasm in it. "I really am the Porcelain Tiger they're going after, and I've been too busy babysitting Calvin to notice, right?"  
"Hey! I resent that!"  
"And if this is so, I somehow don't remember much of my life as that, mister...?"  
"Periwinkle." The man looked at Hobbes. "Agent Red Periwinkle, FBI."  
"Red Periwinkle?" Calvin started to laugh. "What a stupid name!"  
"Thank you. It's not my real name anyhow, and I'd rather you not know it." The man cleared his throat. "Hobbes, the reason why Callous calls you 'Porcelain Tiger' is because...yes, you have figured it out. That is precisely who you are - you are CIA Operative 4638-1631-00, Codename: Porcelain Tiger. You were only two days old when you were taken from your habitat in Siberia and brought to Washington back in the early 80s. You are the product of a highly specialized, top-secret operation to create the perfect soldier, and you are the perfect soldier. You have the ability to shoot, to fight, to _be_ better than any human. So flawless are you, that if you were told to stand on the top floor of this building and told to shoot out an office window out of the Empire State Building, you'd put all of the armies in the world to utter shame. You would execute it with a margin of error unobtainable even by a high-powered telescope."   
"…..Wow……" Hobbes' eyes widened. "I…..can really do that? I mean, the pouncing I figured out, and the running, and the intelligence I possess, I always knew I was of superior stock...."  
"Huh." Calvin's eyes were widened as well. "I guess it gives new meaning to your mandibles of death…..which, I remind you, are your teeth, smarty..."  
"Yeah, yeah, keep rubbing that in…." Hobbes flexed his muscles. "Though...for a superior being, I must be out of shape, because I'm a bit scrawny."  
"That's how you were engineered, Hobbes," Periwinkle replied. "Officially, your sole mission was to assassinate heads of state who threatened the US."  
"Assasinate heads of state?" Calvin yawned. "Isn't that a bit illegal here? Not that it wouldn't be fun to do..."   
"Well...you know the saying: 'I make the laws, so I can break them'." Periwinkle's hand went through his hair. "Anyways, your outward appearance as an innocent stuffed tiger - an intended physical manipulation of a person's perceived reality - was one of your greatest fail-safes, which is why you look like you do. Only those who knew that you existed as a truly conscious entity could in turn see you as you are, and they are few and far between." Periwinkle stood up. "You were to be disguised as a gift of friendship to the daughter of one of Brezhnev's Parliament leaders, and when you got in close enough, would blow up Brezhnev's residence with no suspicion on your part in the aftermath."  
"WHAT?!?!" Calvin jumped up. "YOU WERE GOING TO BLOW UP A GIRL?!?"  
"What?! No!!" Hobbes protested. "I wouldn't blow people up! I, uh, tear them to pieces with m-my mandibles of death! Or, I would-"  
"Geez!" Calvin started to back away from the tiger. "I mean, I know I'd like to see slimy girls get theirs, but…..I mean, what were you planning to do to _ME_ when I wasn't looking?!"  
"NOTHING!"  
"Exactly." The two turned back to Periwinkle. "Because that was only your _official_ mission. The one that Callous told the president, and everyone in the predient's circle. Ask anyone about B.A.D., however, and you get another story from those in the know."  
"…B.A.D.?" Calvin looked confused. "…..That spells 'bad'."  
"…..Well……yes…." Periwinkle's shoulders slumped. "It is also an acronym, initials."  
"…..Hang on a minute…" Hobbes scratched his head. "That Callous guy mentioned it, remember? And when he mentioned it, I thought it sounded familiar. And those computers had the name on them, and those looked familiar too…"  
"It should look familiar to you. They trained you." The agent went to his desk. "B.A.D. stands for 'Biochemical Agents Division'. It was - is - a top-secret shadow department of the CIA run by Arthur Callous. One of its sole purposes is to research harmful diseases in order to make them efficient weapons of destruction, as well as creating an effective borderline-terrorist cell in alliance with other countries. Few know it is there; not even the president knows of its existence……"  
"Really?"  
"….Because BAD'S highest goal is to depose the president."  
  
  
_"I don't care what it takes!" Callous turned to the figure. "Take Porcelain Tiger back to the lab. I want him to be retrofitted properly."  
"But sir…!"  
  
From the door, the little tiger cub watched silently, hidden, as the stooped old man trembled violently.   
  
"How….how can you do such a thing?" The old man cried. "This…..this is treason! I will not alter my creation so that you may have him carry ten gallons of mustard gas in his limbs! And to give him to a little girl _here_…to the _president_!"  
"I don't think you heard me correctly, Dr. Benton." The tiger gasped as Callous took out a gun and pointed it at the old man. "First off, I am the boss of this project, so you _will_ take my orders and you _will_ follow them. I was lenient with letting you teach him the silly stuff - the languages and the books and that - he will need that for his later missions. But now, you WILL do as I say, to the letter!"  
"You'd kill your own countrymen…!"  
"There will be casualties in my war." Callous' calm voice unnerved the cub as he slowly backed away in fear. "Once it is order, the people will see how necessary it was; the only way to cause change to give order to the people now is to instill the seeds of chaos. Now, doctor, do as you're told…..or else."_  
  
  
"…..Mustard gas!"  
"Hobbes!"  
  
Calvin's question was met only with Hobbes grabbing his head, his eyes wide with terror. His body seemed to tremble a bit as he walked over and crumpled onto the couch.  
  
"Hobbes?"  
"Why….." Hobbes' voice squeaked. "I…..I remember now!"  
"What?"  
"All that stuff….." Hobbes shut his eyes. "And all those bright lights they used to shine on me……and all the stuff they made me do……and……and Callous………and….._Dr. Benton!_"  
  
  
_"I cannot stand for this." The tiger cub sat in the chair and watched as the old man shoved papers into a satchel. "He has gone too far. He's gone mad!"  
"What are you doing, Dr. Benton?"   
"I'm going," The blunt answer surprised the cub. "I'm going to put an end to this. First they take you from your family, then, they mutilate you and turn you into some…..killer!"  
"Killer?"   
  
The cub's voice was shocked; the cub _was_ shocked. As far as he knew, he was like any other person; everyone spoke at least four languages and could shoot a pea-sized target from 5,000 feet. Everyone knew how to slouch and crouch and use their pinky to break someone's upper vertebrae. Everyone knew how to assemble an automatic German sniper rifle in less the five seconds, because he could do all of that.  
  
Now, however, he began to understand, as the man he always saw as his father spoke once more.  
  
"…..Dr. Benton….?"  
"…Hobbes. My poor boy…." The old man put a sad, yet firm, hand on the cub's shoulder. "Yes, its time you knew the truth about what they have tried to make you. You are nothing more to them than an experiment, a freak of nature. You are the only one of your kind, and they want to use you as if you were a mindless, heartless killer. They want you to _kill_ people!"  
"_K-kill_?!"  
  
The cub began to shake. He had heard the word before. It meant to hurt people until they were dead. He didn't think that anyone would want _him_ to do it.  
  
"But….but Dr. Benton…." The cub began to shake. "I don't want to kill anyone!"  
"I know you don't," Dr. Benton held the cub close. "And that's where that evil man made a mistake. He never thought you'd gain a conscience. Yet here you are, and you don't want to kill anyone. Why, if he ever thought that you would develop free will…..he'd kill you on the spot."  
"Kill me?!" Hobbes began to shake. "What….what do I do? I don't want to kill anyone, and I don't want to die!"  
"There is only one thing we can do, my dear Hobbes." The doctor finished packing. "We must run, we must get out of here!"  
"Get out? But how will I get out?" Hobbes looked down at himself. "They put those bugs on me so they can find me!"  
"You can do it!" Benton rubbed Hobbes' head. "You are the Porcelain Tiger, the perfect soldier. You can escape this; you are better than they are. You are better because you have the power to kill millions……but I know that you would never do it!"_  
  
  
"I remember now….." Hobbes opened his eyes again. "Dr. Benton was the man who helped to create me. He taught me almost everything I knew. And when he escaped…..I escaped too." Hobbes' shoulders rolled; he was into his tale. "I completely destroyed the defenses, got rid of the tracking bugs and barely got a scratch from the tanks. But as I was swimming down the Potomac, I think I must have slammed into a bank or something…..it's a bit hazy, but the next thing I remember I was at a flea market somewhere…."  
"…And that's the last place Callous could track you down to," Periwinkle finished the story. "And here you are, six years later. Callous has found you, and-"  
  
A sudden beep came from the desk. Instantly, Periwinkle's head whipped towards the desk, and his face darkened.  
  
"Get under the desk."  
  
There was something in Periwinkle's voice that almost commanded obedience, even though it was not in a commanding tone. Instantly, Calvin and Hobbes were underneath the desk, watching the screen flicker.  
  
"Hmm...." Calvin stared. "Maybe we're watching a movie?"  
"I don't think so."  
"Why do you say that?!"  
"No popcorn."  
"....Oh." Calvin's shoulders slumped. "That is a good reason...."  
  
The screen showed snow momentarily before flickering again. This time, however, a shadowed head came on.  
  
"**Greetings.....**"  
  
Calvin and Hobbes gasped at the sound of the voice. Then, the shadowed blackness on the screen disappeared, and Callous' head came into vision, a look of contempt on his face.  
  
"**On this lovely afternoon, Agent Periwinkle.**"  
"Callous..!" Hobbes whispered. "How...?"  
"That dirty traitor!" Calvin hissed. "I bet-"  
"Good afternoon." There was a hint of mutual feelings in Periwinkle's voice. "It's not often I get to talk to a traitor on my private communiation screen. How did you get into this connection?"  
"**Well, Agent Periwinkle....**" Callous' voice was almost drunk with laughter. "**Thats none of your damn business. And you can't compel me to tell either; let's just say I have my ways with getting around things.**"  
"I figured as much."  
"**Indeed. Oh, and speaking of which, you picked a lovely day for you to come and try to pin crimes on me again by assaulting private property without a warrant. So, how is the man who will be fired from the FBI doing?**"  
"Don't be so confident, _sir_. I've had the permissions to collect information on you for years." Periwinkle gave a growl. "I have eyes fixed on your every activity, and we have Porcelain Tiger. You're practically finished and you know it; so much for your ability to hang onto a valuable item."  
"**You and your turf war.**" A sigh came from the other end of the communicator. "**You know that they don't end well. They always come to nothing in the end. And in the meantime, families are broken and people are left dead. Why do you want that on your conscience, agent?**"  
"Because unlike you," Periwinkle gave a growl. "I have a conscience."  
"**Huh.**" Another chuckle came from the other side. "**Well then, let us test your ability to grasp your own conception of mortality. Watch and observe.**"  
  
The monitor flickered on and off momentarily, before finally turning on a definite image. It was hazy at first, but it then shifted violently, showing the blacks, whites and blues of a small, enclosed room.  
  
"A satellite feed," Under the desk, Hobbes whispered to Calvin. "Less techy than the digital one that jerk is feeding of himself."  
"I know!" Calvin gave a growl. "I'm not stupid. Spaceman Spiff knows the difference."  
"I bet you wouldn't if it hadn't been in that dumb midnight movie we watched....what was it again?" Hobbes scratched his head. "'Agent Pussy Willow and the Titilati'-"  
"Shh!" Calvin quickly glared at Hobbes. "You promised you wouldn't mention that movie ever again!"  
  
Slowly, the hazy picture came into focus, and Periwinkle had to stifle a shout with his mouth. The four agents that had been captured were chained to a stone wall in rusted iron, and had gags in their mouths. The irons were cut into their hands and feet, as so to draw as much blood as possible. All four were stripped down to their undergarments, and were wearing potato sacks in replacement of their SWAT uniforms. One was female, two were African American, one was a white male. All of them had a look of uncertainty in their eyes.  
  
"You wouldn't....!"  
"WOAH!" Calvin started to crawl to get a better look. "That's so bondage-like! Like in that one movie we wa-"  
"Calvin!" Hobbes yanked him under. "No!"  
"What?!" Calvin glared. "I just wanted to see if they were really bleeding!"  
"**The four here are guests courtesy of BAD.....at the moment.**" There was almost a hint of evil in the man's smile. "**However, at 2039 tonight, all four of them will be given a lethal dose of formadinex - a daughter poison of formaldihide and saline. A simple agent to create, one whose ingredients can be made with store-bought products. Acetone works almost as well.**"  
"And what do you expect to accomplish by killing my men?" Periwinkle growled. "I could take you down with anything you transmit."  
"**I suspected that you would be recording this.**" The picture of the four captives bore into Hobbes. "**Of course, the presence of my voice in this transmission is a one-time deal. You see, I researched an excellent technology with Verizon that can mask my voice with the voice identification print of any man I choose. As effective as using your voice would be, alas I am unable to reciprocate the effects of this to switch our voice patterns. Perhaps one day. But for now, the voice of Osama bin Laden will have to do. So, when the evidence is turned over to the police, there will be no indication - not even a hint - that I am a part of anything.**"  
"Damn you...."  
"**You have very little that you can do, Periwinkle.**" The voice droned on, filling Hobbes with an anger towards the monster that possessed it. "**If you persist in your inane and pointless battle to crucify me with untruths, you stand to lose your men to the _real_ enemy. I'm just a peon in comparison to who else is involved. There _is_ one thing that you can do, however.**"  
  
With that, the screen flickered, and Callous' face returned. It was obvious that he was enjoying every minute of his actions.  
  
"**You will return to BAD headquarters in an hour,**" Callous rubbed his nose. "**And you will return the Porcelain Tiger to me - _with the boy_ - where he will be taken care of properly.**"  
"NO WAY!!" Calvin jumped up before Hobbes could stop him, revealing himself. "Not a chance, JERK!"  
"**Your men will be returned to you,**" Callous ignored the boy, "**on the condition that they never speak of what has happened to them. You will not bring any back-up. You will not bring anyone that would give the information of this exchange to the outside world. You will only bring yourself, the Porcelain Tiger, and the boy. Are you writing this all down?**"  
"Are you afraid I'll forget?"  
"**You have drawn blanks in these instances. We wouldn't want anything bad to happen, would we?**"   
"Blaah!" Calvin stuck his tongue out at Callous. "Jerk! Stupid jerk!"  
"**Remember....**" This time, Callous' teeth were clenched. "**The boy and the tiger. One hour. Otherwise, you're problem will be far more than just me.**"  
  
With that, the transmission abruptly ended. With that, Periwinkle looked over at Calvin, his eyes as hard as stone.  
  
"That son of a bitch....."  
  
Calvin's eyes widened, and instantly his hands went down. His tongue went promptly back into his mouth.  
  
"Erm..."  
"Well." Periwinkle's chuckle took the boy by surprise. "_This_ is interesting."  
"Huh?"  
"I guess...." Periwinkle's face slowly twitched into a grin. "You and Mr. Callous had a problem with each other."  
"Oh, no, not at all!" Calvin replied, his voice dripping with innocent sarcasm. "He just tried to kill me and erase my friend's memories, that's all. Nothing big, I just hate him."  
"He seems to share mutual feelings." Periwinkle stroked his chin. "This could be used to our advantage..."  
  
At this, Periwinkle went over to his desk. At this point, Hobbes was sitting at the desk, tapping his fingers.  
  
"This is a comfy chair."  
"Thank you, Hobbes." Periwinkle looked at the tiger for a moment. "Hobbes, there is a red button under the desk. Please press it."  
"Um, ok...."  
  
Hobbes pressed around, looking and feeling around. He finally found it, and upon pressing it a laptop shot out of the desk.  
  
"Wow!" Calvin jumped down. "Its not that nanoputer thingamajig, is it?"  
"No." Periwinkle quietly picked Hobbes up and put him on the floor. "This is a standard computer - with some secretive programs designed for deciphering use, of course."  
  
With that, Periwinkle sat in the chair and began typing on the keyboard. With an annoyed look on his face, Hobbes peered up over the top of the desk and watched as several screens came on.  
  
"Hmph." The recent transmission popped up on the screen, showing the face of a thin, bearded Arabic man. "Callous wasn't lying. He scrambled the transmission program and the interface."  
"Hey, uhh..."  
"Let's see." The agent's hand flew across the board. The screen went black, and green numbers flicked onto the screen. "I can't seem to get into the coded logarithm. He's got some kind of complex code in here....."  
  
For a moment, Hobbes stared at the screen, his tail lashing in concentration. His beady eyes looked onto the monitor, scanning each and every symbol that popped up onto the screen.  
  
"Come on!" Calvin picked his nose. "What's taking so long?"  
  
Suddenly, an instinct kicked in, and the next thing Periwinkle knew, Hobbes' hand smashed in the enter button. Periwinkle gave a shout of surprise, but it was already too late.  
  
"What the-"  
  
The screen flickered on and off for a moment; then, suddenly, the thin Arabic man's face came back on, shifting violently.  
  
"**The......guests......... BAD.....at the moment.**" The voice, became Atrava's once more. "**However, at 2039 tonight.....**"  
"......Wow." Periwinkle stared at the face of Atrava in amazement. "You....really are a technological wizard, Hobbes."  
"Not really." Hobbes slinked away from the desk. "You can solve anything by pressing the enter key. You can freeze the program because its a stupid program to begin with, just like a lot of Callous' other stuff."  
"Is....that so?"  
"Yeah." Hobbes gave a glance at Calvin. "Now, if we could only freeze certain other people...."  
"Huh?" Calvin was hastily wiping the evidence of his nosedigging behind the couch. His voice was muffled as he struggled to get out. "What are you talking about, fleabag? Are you talking about me again?"  
"Of course not." Hobbes looked up and bat his eyes. "Why would I be talking of you?"  
"This is perfect." Periwinkle snapped the laptop down. "I can send this to the secretary of state and my boss through my secretary. They'll know all about Callous' newest plot within the hour. Even better for us," Periwinkle gave a grin. "It proves that Callous wants the Porcelain Tiger independently for his own purposes. He even mentioned the Biochemical Agents Division in connection with himself."  
"So he self-incriminated himself?" Calvin crossed his arms. "Is he really that stupid to do?"  
"Calvin," Periwinkle rubbed his hands together. "One thing you must understand is that Callous was always a desperate man. Ever since he started fancying himself to be the leader of the United States through his slippery ways, he was desperate to keep up the facade of a loyal citizen. Then, when other terrorist parties began to parley with him, it got even harder. And now, his desperation has finally played into our hands."  
"So we get to arrest Callous?"  
"Not quite." Suddenly, Periwinkle's expression sobered. "We still must think of my four men. As victorious as I want to be, I know how Callous works too well - even in desperation - to not expect him to truly be more under-handed than we've seen him to be."  
"So...he'd really kill those agents." Calvin scratched his head. "But why would he be telling us? Is he stupid?"  
"Psychological tactic." Hobbes went into a fighting stance. "He's trying to bluff us with his superior technology."  
"You mean the technology that doesn't ever work?"  
"Yeah."  
"But we can use this to our advantage." Periwinkle bent down. "We're going to have to come up with a good plan, one that will stall Callous, one that can free my men...and all with just us three. Its a bit of a problem, but-"  
"What?!" Suddenly, a twitch came to Calvin's mouth. "You're calling that a problem? Against _Callous_?!?"  
  
A smile came on Calvin's face. It was one filled with a strange, deranged essence, one that could only come from an evil mind. At this, Hobbes began to twitch.  
  
"I think....Calvin has a plan." Hobbes nervously looked at Periwinkle. "But I really think the question is whether or not was want to know what it is....?"  
  
  



	12. Chapter 7

****

Chapter 7  
  
  
  
  
Washington D.C. is one of the oldest cities in the United States. Dedicated in 1790, officially occupied by the president in 1796, it was named after the first president, a man who fought with his life to protect the newly born nation that was threatened by tyrannical masters, both seen and unseen. It has seen many trials, and many powers, as well as many battles.  
  
Yet, in its short existance, thrice has the city been threatened with besieging in any way, and only once was an all-out battle fought in its midst. In 1812, it was attacked and burned to the ground. In the Civil War, it was sighted by the Confederates as a possible attack point. Then, finally, came 2001, when a plane, flown by terrorists, came barrelling from the sky, crashing into the side of a building.  
  
But while those battles were all well-documented, there is one battle that no one knows about. Another battle, a fourth siege on America, one that not even the president was fully aware of.  
  
Frankly, some would say its a good thing he wasn't.  
  
------------------------  
  
The sun was just beginning to finally disappear beyond the horizon when 2039 - far past any respectable kid's bedtime - when Callous stepped out of his communications room and into the hall.  
  
_Its almost time._ Callous strutted down the hall, his head held high. _Soon I will have the tiger once more. And I know Periwinkle will do as I ask...unless he wants his troops on the 11 o'clock news._  
  
He looked around, and gave a smile, for he knew everything would be all right after this. Soon, the tiger would be in his grasp again; all that was left was to dispose of him properly. Periwinkle would be humiliated, and fired, never to bother Callous. The Talc Rabbit would be ready for its mission within a matter of weeks. And the boy....  
  
_....Calvin._ The word was almost etched into Callous' mind with a Play-Do knife. _Never in all of my years have I faced such an evil, unruly, stupid little boy that gave me the trouble I've been getting! I'll deal with him properly...._  
  
He took a deep breath, and pushed a button on the side of the wall. Instantly, a door at the end of the hall opened, revealing within a rotunda, within a room similar in size and shape to the rooms that had computers and the memory machine. This one, however, was much more decorated; it was furnished to look more like a drug house than an official government room.  
  
"Hmmm...yes." Callous turned to one of his associates. "Is everything in order?"  
"Everything, sir."  
"Good." In the corner were four large potato sacks. "Remember, if Periwinkle tries anything...."  
"Yes." The man gave a nod. "We know what to do, sir."  
"Good." Callous turned away. "Are they coming?"  
"Yes, sir."   
  
The man pressed a button, and a screen briefly popped out of the ceiling. On it, an image of Periwinkle, Calvin and Hobbes were climbing out of a car was seen.  
  
"_Excellent._" A wide grin came on Callous' face. "Escort them in immediately."  
  
The man gave a quick nod, and was out of the room.  
  
"Prepare everything so that we can handle....certain emergencies," Callous turned to some of the other workers. "Remember, if anything goes wrong, make them all - Periwinkle, the tiger, the kid - disappear."  
  
There was a seeming agreement between the men and Callous on what was to be done. However, several of them looked at one another warily at the thought of killing the last spoken subject. Unlike Callous, they did not have a real reason to kill a young child, no matter how obnoxious.  
  
"Do you think Callous is being a little...." one whispered. "...overreactive?"  
"Well, it'll be the death of us if we kill a kid!" Another one whispered back. "I have an idea. Let's spare the kid, and if we get arrested by the terrorist cell of Periwinkle's guys, we'll get some points for at least sparing the kid."  
"They won't torture us before they kill us." The man winked. "Good idea!"  
  
Soon, the plan was spreading like wildfire, and by the time Callous' prisoners had entered the building, a secret plan was set by the men who worked for Callous.  
  
"They are here, sir." Suddenly, a door slid open, revealing a guard. "Here they are, sir."  
  
If Callous had been drunk on victory before, then by this time he was certainly smashed. For coming through the door, head down, were the Porcelain Tiger and Agent Red Periwinkle.  
  
"Perfect....."  
  
He looked at his dejected prisoners up and down in full glee, seeing the looks of defeat on their faces. There was a look of humiliation on Periwinkle's face; on Porelain Tiger's a look of annoyance.  
  
"At long last."  
  
He was almost there. He could almost touch victory. He was about ready to do the Macarena....no, the Ketchup.....no, the Funky Chicken. Anything he knew, as Callous was that close to achieving his ultimate goal, of erasing the dark splotch off of his past.  
  
"......Hmm."  
  
Callous' face suddenly set into a frown. There was one missing.  
  
"...The boy."  
"Boy?" The closest gunman looked at Callous. "You mean-"  
"_Calvin_." Callous grit his teeth. "The boy. Where is he?"  
"...I....in the bathroom, sir. He had to go."  
  
Suddenly, the gunman felt as if he had invited a deranged, cross-eyed dragon to bite his head off. The look on Callous' face as his head twisted over to him in slow motion was a frighteneing experience in itself. His mouth was set in a box, and his pearly white teeth were shown as the deputy director drew a dangerously low hiss.  
  
"...WHAT?!" Callous gave another snarl. "What do you mean he had to go to the bathroom?!"  
"He said he couldn't hold it, sir." The man looked nervous. "He just....had to go."  
"GET HIM BACK HERE!"  
"Sir, I-"  
"**DO IT NOW!!!!**"  
"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!_**"  
  
Suddenly, a piercing scream echoed into the room, repeating itself through the excellent acoustics of the room several times over. The tone of it was so piercing that everyone found their hands on their ears, depserate to keep the pitch from making their eardrums explode.  
  
"GAAAAAAH!" Callous gave a roar. "GET THAT KID!!!!!!"  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, it came. It came so fast and furious that no one, not even Hobbes and Periwinkle, had expected it. The door was thrown open, and running as fast as he could was Calvin, golden gun in hand.  
  
"DA DA DA DA DA DA _DAAAAAAAAAAA_!!!" The boy, dressed in a red cape and hood, ran across the room, right in between Callous' legs, with a wild scream. "FEAR ME, EVILDOER! For I am.....**STUPENDOUS MAN!!!!**"  
  
The rage on Callous' face almost scared Calvin off; his was like a raging, snarling male version of Mrs. Wormwood when she was at her worst. But Calvin saw his face only for an instant, for when he went under his legs he fell to his knees and slid out of the room.  
  
"STOP HIM!" Callous roared at the reluctant and flabbergasted guards. "STOP HIM-"  
"Freeze."  
  
With a cry, Callous' head snapped up again towards Hobbes and Periwinkle. They both had guns pointed towards him; the guards next to them were on the ground.  
  
"Happy birthday, Arthur." Periwinkle's stare bore into Callous. "Compliments of the president."  
"I think not."  
  
Again, it was Callous' turn to laugh as twenty guards pointed their guns at the two.  
  
"You take care of these traitors." Callous turned and ran out of the room. "I'll take care of the boy!"  
"Well," Hobbes looked at the barrels pointed at him and casually dropped his gun. "_I_ was expecting a lot more. You?"  
"I was thinking more too." Periwinkle did not drop his gun. "Still, this is still.....not the best. Especially with _him_ on the loose."  
  
And so a standoff ensued, the Porcelain Tiger and Periwinkle against Callous' men, men who knew them as no better than terrorists.  
  
--------------  
  
"WOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
Within seconds, Calvin was running around screaming down the hall, catching the attention of all of the men on guard. Though these men did not know of the pact, nor of Calvin's existance, they nevertheless were dumbfounded as the saw him fly by.  
  
"DEATH TO EVIL!!!" He zoomed past two guards. "SAVE THE WORLD! **STUPEEEEEEEEEEEENDOUS** MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"  
"He's loud." One of them aimed his gun. "You sure we can't shoot him?"  
"He looks too American, and he's a kid." One of them shot up two foot above Calvin. "This is suspicous, even for boss. Killing a _kid_?"  
"Yeah...."  
"Let's just pretend we missed, hmm?"  
"....Right with me."  
  
And so, as Calvin whizzed by, the guns went off; however, the bullets richeted off of pipes, the ceiling, on the floor. And so Calvin - Stupendous Man - was momentarily protected from death, not by his own devices, but by the consciences of Calvin's men.  
  
"Oh! Arrgh!" The men feigned frustration. "He's moving too fast! Arrrgh!"  
  
--------------------  
  
"Ok...."  
  
Periwinkle and Hobbes were still in a tense standoff with the gunmen. Surrounded with AKs and Glocks alike, the two looked at one another uneasily.  
  
"Well..." Speaking in Chinese, Hobbes cracked his knuckles. "I'm beginning to remember something I learned back in the day..."  
"It's not anything silly, is it?" Speaking in English, as he only knew bits of Chinese, Periwinkle eyed the tiger warily. "I don't know how long this is going to last here before they decide to attack. And besides which, why are you speaking in Chinese?"  
"....I don't know." Hobbes scratched his head. "Sudden impulse. Haven't spoken it in years."  
  
And so the standoff continued.  
  
--------------------  
  
"STUPENDOUS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!"  
  
Calvin burst through one of the doors at the end of the hall, screaming and cackling evilly. He took out the golden gun and began to point it inside the darkened rooms.  
  
"Hahahah!!!" He pressed the trigger. "And with my.....eh.....?"  
  
Calvin looked down at the gun, confused. Nothing had come out. He pulled the trigger, this time pointing the gun at himself. There was still nothing.  
  
"What the....ARRRRRGH!" With a disgusted growl he threw the gun as hard as he could. "There's no bullets!!!!! Those doodoo heads took out the bullets when I wasn't-"  


****

*WHAAAAAAAMCLAAAANG*

  
  
There was a squeak, followed by a clatter of metal and glass. Curious, Calvin flipped the lights on and found himself staring inside a gigantic, dimly lit laboratory. It was two stories high, and filled with tables stocked to the edges with chemicals, flasks and sastitubes of all shapes, colors and sizes. It was also hot, and Calvin felt the need to take his cape off.  
  
_Man...._ The boy was flabbergasted. _This is even cooler than the memory loss room thing..._  
  
Another squeak came from behind the table once more. Quickly, Calvin picked up a cage, which had fallen on the floor when the gun hit it.  
  
"What the..." Calvin made a face. "A stuffed bunny rabbit?"  
  
The Talc Powder Rabbit stared back at Calvin with wide eyes, whimpering. It recognized him well. However Calvin took it, however, a twisted smile came on his face.  
  
"Bleh....Stupid old guy." Without consideration, courtesy or ceremony, Calvin stuffed the rabbit into the back of his pants. "Though....this looks like Susie's stupid Mr. Bun. Maybe when I get back home I could use that to my advantage. STUPENDOUS MAAAAAAN!!"  
  
With that, Calvin abandoned the battle and began to explore the laboratory, forgetting his cape, and more importantly, the gun.  
  
--------------------  
  
The standoff still continued in the dome. This time, there were thirty guards surrounding Hobbes. Periwinkle, by this time, was resigned to eating a chocolate bar.  
  
"Um, so...." Hobbes scratched his head with his gun. "Do any of you guys like....knitting?"  
"Shut up." A gun went into Hobbes' face. "Surrender, Porcelain Tiger! We've given you enough time to think about it."  
"Um...." Hobbes glared at the guard as he swiped the gun away. "Do you _mind_? I'm trying to make casual conversation here."  
"I'll give you casua-"  
"Sorry I'm late!"  
  
Every head turned as one guard, smaller than the rest, came bounding in from the side door. His face was red, and it was obvious that he had not been in the complex during any of the events of the day.  
  
"Jordan." There was a moan from the guard that had threatened Hobbes, and by the groans coming from the other guards, there was an agreed consensus on the newcomer. "God dammit, you're late _again_!"  
"I'm _sorry_!" The voice of the newcomer made Periwinkle's head come up. "I was, um....my mom was in the hospital."  
"Don't lie. You were making out with your girlfriend."  
"I was _not_!"  
"Hey, yeah you were!" Another guard's voice piped up. "I _thought_ I saw you in the back seat of your Mustang-"  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
The newcomer suddenly felt a pair of eyes on him, and he turned to see Periwinkle standing in front of him, staring at him in disbelief. Meanwhile, the guards caught that one of the prisoners was missing.  
  
"What the hell?" The guns were immediately pointed at Periwinkle. "How'd you get out?"  
"M....." Periwinkle stuttered. "....Madison!"  
"Yeah I..." The newcomer, Jordan Madison, suddenly gasped. "What the...D...**_DOCTOR DICKENSHEETZ!_**"  
  
There was an awkward silence at this. The guards simply blinked and stared at the two men, and slowly began to drop their weapons. Meanwhile, Hobbes, clearly confused, crept up, climbed onto the guard that threatened him, and sat on his head as he watched the scene as it unfolded.  
  
"Doctor...._Dickensheetz_?" One of the men gave a shout. "H-_hey_! Wait a minute! Arsenene Dickensheetz? _The head of the FBI?_"  
"Doctor Dickensheetz!" Jordan pointed. "My old college professor! You're the head of the FBI?"  
"...You didn't know I.."  
"Has boss gone mad?" Another guard spoke. "This guy's not a terrorist, he's a respected..."  
  
Soon, just about every guard in the complex were talking in loud, excited voices. Periwinkle, meanwhile, felt something nudge his side.  
  
"'Dickensheetz'?" Hobbes gave Periwinkle an amused look. "No wonder you didn't want us to know your real name."  
  



	13. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"CAL**VIN**!"

Callous tore down the last hallway like a maniac, his face filled with pure, seething hatred. His hair fell down his face, and his eyes flashed with anger.

_I'll kill you...._ he seethed as he ran down the hall. _I'll kill you. I'll kill you. KILL you._

Nothing was going as he had planned. Not only was Calvin on the loose, but Callous had no idea what he could be doing. It didn't matter, however; there was only one thing on Callous' mind, and it was death, Calvin's death, at his hands.

_I'll find you._ His eyes came upon the open door to the main laboratory. _Damn you, kid, you'll regret EVER laying eyes on the tiger!_

--------------------

"Well...we're really sorry."

Each and every one of Callous' guards were in the dome, surrounding Periwinkle and Hobbes. This time, however, they were not pointing guns at the two, but rather they were shaking their heads in disbelief, and had put their guns away. With them were the four captured agents, bloodied and exhausted, but alive.

"What are we going to do?" The leader of the FBI S.W.A.Ts looked at Periwinkle. "Callous is poised to unleash a new super killer on the president."

"All of this is unreal." Jordan looked at Hobbes. "I mean, we knew about Hobbes, and that's...unreal in itself....but we didn't know about our boss..."

"Don't worry." Periwinkle shook his head. "I had a hunch that Callous painted me as a terrorist agent. At the moment, I'm just happy you came when you did, or I may have been dead."

"Well...." Callous' men looked at each other warily. "You're not going to arrest all of us, are you?"

"I can't save you from every venue of prosecution. You may have to spend time in jail, all of you. But I can assure that, at the least, cooperation will save you a lot of trouble with the federal prosecutors. Though," the agent took a breath. "The people Callous may have holed up with, you're more likely to end up in witness protection; you wouldn't be the first."

"If it helps, we can help get you the information from Callous' hard drives." One of the guards wiped his nose. "We'll probably have to get past his technicians, though."

"Do they know about Callous' operations?"

"Probably had to have. They ran his computers, they checked his files. Get past them, we can get the files. Of course, there're one or two left after the accident this afternoon. One of them is dead from electrocution, and the other was sho-"

***BOOOOOOOOOOOM***

That was before the explosion.

--------------------

".....WOW."

The laboratory was something that Calvin knew he'd never see the likes of again during his life. 

_This....place..._ Calvin was practically dumbfounded. _I......I...._

There were things in it that not even Calvin could imagine, and the hazy lighting made the atmosphere eerie. There were boxes, once filled with chemicals made from some of the most deadly ingredients known to mankind. The flasks were filled with liquids, some that Calvin did not know of; however, he could recognize blood when he saw it, and more than half of the tubes were filled to the brim with them. The sastitubes, each six feet tall, were filled with the decomposed bodies of tigers - tigers the size of Hobbes. The tigers that still had faces had expressions of fright and fear.

_Hobbes...._ Calvin gulped. _Is this what he wants to do with you? I don't want that to happen. I can't let it happen._

He absentmindedly played with a Bunsen burner as he thought of everything that had happened. He left it on, unaware of what he had done, but even if he knew, he wouldn't have cared less.

"I won't let it happen," he said aloud. "I won't let it happen. I'll stop him somehow."

***BAM!!***

"AaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

***BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!***

Calvin just barely got out of the way, first as the bullet ripped through the flasks, then as the chemicals reacted to the flame in the Bunsen burner and rippled across the room in a magnificent line of bright yellow.

---------------------

The fire spread all too quickly in the lab through ducts, pipes and the hallways, all made of steel. Within minutes, smoke was coming towards the dome.

"Come on!" Periwinkle quickly snapped up several papers from one of the rooms unaffected as one of the guards shouted at him. "We have to get out! The building is set with explosives."

"Wh-what?!" Periwinkle's head snapped towards the guard. "What do you mean? Why-"

"Callous showed us," the guard shouted back, "His fail-safe in case anything should happen to this factory - if a fire or any natural disaster - or anything for that matter - triggers the fail-safe, the entire building will explode!"

Periwinkle's eyes widened at this. On the other side of the room, Hobbes was carrying a monitor, but had dropped it on his foot when he heard that.

"OW!" He swore. "Argh....ugh...."

"A f-fail-safe?!" Periwinkle glared at the guard. "Does anyone know where it is?!"

"Just Callous, sir!"

"This is great," Periwinkle muttered.

"Sir, we have to get out of here as soon as possible before the fail-safe takes all of us down!"

"Wait!"

Periwinkle felt the guard grab him before he could protest further, and was led out to the hall and back into the dome. By this time, thick black smoke had begun to fill into the room, and everyone who was left was running out, their hands filled with computer modules, papers and folders.

"WAIT!" Periwinkle grabbed the guard's arm. "Calvin."

"What?"

"The boy. We have to save the boy! He's in here somewhere!"

"Wait! Porcelain Tiger!!"

Periwinkle's eye just barely caught the long, sleek, orange silhouette charging into the thick smoke and approaching fire. His back was arched, his fur was up, fluffed up alongside the adrenaline rush that was accompanying it. The agent only saw the back of his body, so he wasn't sure if Hobbes' mouth was open; on the other hand, no fire could roar such a sound that suddenly echoed through the chamber as, finally, Hobbes disappeared into the flame.

"HOBBES!"

"SIR!" Periwinkle was prevented from following by two guards, who proceeded to lead him, almost drag him, away. "We've got to get out NOW!"

Periwinkle could barely believe his eyes. He struggled and pleaded with the guards, but to no avail. They led him out through the main doorway, out into the night. By this time, half of the building was already engulfed.

"CALVIN! HOBBES!! HOOOBBES!!!!!!"

-------------------

"...Uuuugh...."

Calvin took several gasps of breath as he recollected himself. He was covered in soot, and the air all around him was becoming smokier by the minute.

_Have to....get up....._ Calvin clung onto the leg of the table. _Have to...run..._

He stood up, facing the golden gun just as it aimed at his head. Fear gripped the boy's heart as it never had before. As quickly as he could, he scuttled backwards and turned to run, only to find himself staring at a wall.

_Oh no...._ Calvin turned his head back at the gun. _And I took my cape off! Without my Stupendous Man cape, I'm powerless to escape!_

The cape which Calvin had put faith in the plan - the plan for Periwinkle and Hobbes to placate the guards and get the S.W.A.T. members back while Stupendous Man distracted Callous - was crumpled in the deputy director's hands.

"You thought this could save you?" With a flick of his hand, he threw the cape into the fire. "Kids. You don't know how the world works. Your little dreams can't save you from reality."

He took several steps closer. His hair was crumpled up and full of ash; his skin was covered in sweat, and likewise his shirt and pants were drenched with it. His eyes were filled with adult scorn.

"You think _I_ am a terrible person, for what you concieve me capable of doing to you and your....friend." Callous' voice was low, yet it was almost mocking. "But the truth is, I am trying to help Porcelain Tiger...and you. Enemies. You'll make enemies you never dreamed of if you persist in resisting me, if you ever managed to escape."

The sweat began to pour off of Calvin as he stared at the gun. He couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to throw the gun out without even thinking of who would pick it up. Not only that, but he was very certain that Callous had a few more bullets in the chamber.

"You know the Islamic fundamentalists? The ones who wrecked the World Trade Centers." Callous glared. "They, they want Porcelain Tiger. Do you know what they'll do? They'll have him attack this country, your neighborhoods, your friends. And there are African businessmen who invested in Porcelain Tiger, who would use him to destroy their own people, and who would kill your parents with no qualms. Japanese mafia who would gas your school. Even other Americans, because I have friends who'd love nothing more than to see the old system gone and they'll stop at nothing. Do you want that on your head?"

The flames roard around them. Flasks combusted, sending glass flying everywhere in the laboratory.

"Give him to me, Calvin." Callous pointed the gun at the boy, "and I'll spare your life."

Calvin stared at Callous, unable to believe what the man was saying. His mouth moved, though at furst nothing came out.

"Just give him to me. I don't like killing children. I have three of my own; I happen to like children immensely.

"Wh....wha?!" Finally, Calvin squeaked. "If you loved children so much, then why would you want to blow up a little girl in Russia and kids in the White House and stuff?! You think _thats_ any better?!?

"That doesn't matter at the moment." All around them, the flames that were engulfing the building roared. "What matters is that you, as an American citizen, stole, hid and corrupted a government created project, as well as uncovering information about it illegally, and that is a felony punishable with life in prison.

"I'm _SIX!_" Calvin screeched. "Like they're gonna say that I honestly KNEW better!

"I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE!" Callous screamed, shaking violently. "Your tiger was created by me and is _mine_ on the grounds that I am a part of the government that ordered his creation to begin with! Give him to me _NOW_!

For a moment, Calvin looked back and forth, his whole body sweating profusely from the heat of the fire. He almost whimpered; he was, for the first time in his life, duly and truly frightened out of his wits. He didn't know what to do, and he knew it wasn't a dream he could just wake up from, nor was it an adventure that could be broken off by his teacher or a parental figure. He really wished his mom was here, or his dad, but he knew he was all by himself, and Hobbes was nowhere to be seen.

_He could be dead_ Calvin could not bear the thought. _He could have been caught in the computer and blown into a million pieces or caught by the bad guysÉ..what do I do_

"I am getting impatient!" The chinking sound of the chamber being loaded with a bullet brought Calvin back to reality. "And don't think I can't cover this up, Calvin. I covered up BAD for the span of my career, and this fire only serves to erase all of the remaining evidence. You may be like Godzilla in Tokyo on your turf, but you're on _my_ ground now. So just give Porcelain Tiger back to me, and we can make it look like one big misunderstanding. You have the choice, kid." 

Normally, Calvin would have given up, and live and let live; this was not normal, and Calvin knew this. And he knew also that Hobbes was not what this man said he was, nor could he ever be that monster. 

No, Hobbes was the First Tiger and El Presidente of G.R.O.S.S. He was the first thing Calvin saw when he came home from school, and the last thing Calvin saw when Calvin went to bed. He was the brilliant mathematician who did Calvin's homework as well as the brilliant artist who drew tigers eating people heads. He was the one who would watch cartoons on Saturday mornings and play Calvinball at night with Calvin. He was the big sleeping lump on the rug who liked to pounce on Calvin whenever he had the chance to do so. He was the sick afferent who liked Susie Derkins, while at the same time planning snowball attacks and ransom notes against the girl. 

Last, and most importantly, Hobbes was Calvin's _friend_. Friends didn't sell each other out, and when they were together friends definitely didn't lose to stupid chowderheads who had slick hair and _really_ killed people.

"ÉNo.

Calvin's answer came out so bluntly that it surprised even Calvin. It certainly surprised Callous, whose eyes widened substantially.

"WhÉ..what?!

"É.ItÉ.itÉ..doesn't matter who created Hobbes!" Calvin, his usual obnoxious self finally coming back, stuck his tongue out at the older man. "It only matters who owns him. And since I've been owning him, he's mine. Hahah! Don'cha _hate_ technicalities?

Callous' face instantly darkened at Calvin's standoffish reply. Without another word, he raised his gun and pulled the trigger.

--------------------

The sound of the gun firing was loud, and it echoed in the ruined, blazing chambers of the building. The sound echoed outside into the open air, out where, all around the burning building, agents and guards alike could hear.

"Oh my God!" In the back of the crowd, Agent Periwinkle's hand went to his mouth as he and a small group of men rushed into the building. "Calvin! Hobbes!

-----------------

The moment he finished his insult, Calvin had shut his eyes tightly. Even though he was just a little kid, he was jaded enough to know that Callous was an uptight jerk, one who wouldn't think shooting and killing a kid was too low. He was worse than Ms. Wormwood.

And, in a sick way, he truly wondered how bad bullets really hurt when they made contact with the flesh. If it was as bad as it looked in the movies, then, he began to figure, he'd probably flop a bit as blood began to gush out the gaping hole, and he'd make a high-pitched sound of dramatic, wounded anguish as he fell. Then, when he landed, he'd probably make a gross moaning sound, and his body would go splat! like a fly, all spread out as his guts drained from his body.

_"I will be avengedÉÉyou will notÉÉ.getÉÉawayÉÉ.noÉ._ Calvin gave a grunt. _Those are REALLY corny last wordsÉÉÉHow about "I may die, but you'll get the chair!"É..Naah, that sounds stupid tooÉ.wait_would_ he get the chair for killing meÉ.?_

So engrossed was the boy in his fantasy of death that it took him several minutes to realize that the bullet never even touched him. When he realized this, he slowly opened his eyes and nearly gasped.

"ÉÉ.You

Calvin could hear the shock in Callous' voice, even though he couldn't see him; all he saw was orange and black stripes, hovering mere millimeters from his nose. Because he was so close, Calvin's eyes began to cross in order to focus.

"You know, Calvin," Hobbes' voice came out very angry as he threw the bullet to the floor. "I couldn't have said what you said better myself.

Calvin's eyes widened at the tone of his friend's voice. Normally, he'd return Hobbes' quips with whining; again, this was not normal. On top of that, he never saw the tiger genuinely angry before about anything or anyone, not even him. Upon hearing his voice and seeing the almost violent heaving of his body, however, Calvin started to slowly back off.

"ÉÉOhÉ..boy-

**"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!!!!!**

Hobbes wasted no time on his vengeance. He leaped up so fast, so quick, that his tail lashed out and smacked Calvin in the face. With a shout, Calvin staggered back and fell on his butt.

"OW!" Calvin rubbed his nose. "YouÉ..youÉ.

He stopped. He could see Hobbes up in the air, his mouth in an enraged snarl, his claws out, his entire body in position for a pounce unlike any Calvin saw. The roar was still on Hobbes' tongue; the flames of the fires in the building were no match for the tiger-like fury in his eyes. Below him in the second before impact was Callous - pale, eyes bugged out, shocked. Frightened of what was about to happen to him.

Calvin had a very good idea of what Hobbes was going to do as well, and he had the best solution to help him. He promptly covered his eyes and hoped for the best as his friend pounced onto the deputy with a definitive slam. 

-------------------------

It all happened fast.

Periwinkle watched it all unfold. It happened so quickly, he did not realize until an hour later what had happened.

Fire. Flames. Heat. Hell. Runnung through the wall. Screaming.

"CALVIN! HOBBES!"

Busting down the door. Cursing at the heat. Running in. Flying glass, and scalding heat.

"HERE! IN HERE!!!"

Screaming. Roaring. Another scream. Calvin. Hobbes. Callous.

"AAAAAAUGH!! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF!!!!!!!"

Dragging. Growling. Screaming. Running. Soot. Fire.

Run. Run.

***BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

Tuna.


	14. The End

****

The End, Part 1  
  
  
  
The rising sun beat down into the White House lawn as the president entered into his office. It was only seven in the morning.  
  
"Can you tell me how to get...." The president twiddled his thumbs. "How to get to Sesa-"  
"Mr. President!"  
  
The president's head flew up as two men - the vice president and the secretary of defense - burst into the room. With an authoritative slam, a giant pile of papers, three feet high total, was dropped onto the desk. In response to the new weight, the desk bowed, almost splintering in half.  
  
"YIPE!"  
"Mr. President, we apologize..." The vice president was out of breath. "But this _is_ urgent. You must read this."  
"Now?" The president looked dumbfounded. "I haven't even watched my cartoons yet."  
"Just read it, sir!"  
  
The president took the top paper off of the pile, looking at the two warily. He then looked down at the paper.  
  
"'FBI FILE, 47747382394732478, Top Secret'." He looked back up. "So?"  
"_Next_ page, Mr. President."  
  
The vice president gave an exasperated sigh as the president took the next page off of the pile. He looked over it twice before shaking his head and standing up.  
  
"......Don...."  
"Before you say _anything_-"  
"Why am I being made to read Klingon _again_?" The president looked confused. "I mean....this....this looks like real Klingon. I'm quite serious here, gentlemen."  
".....Because you're Captain Kirk." The note from the vice president was sarcastic. "You're on a reality show."  
"...I am?" the president lit up. "Since when?"  
"Since Mr. Spock came in, Mr. President." The secretary rubbed his eyes. "No, Mr. President, thats a coded message from the FBI."  
"....Oh, you were being _sarcastic_." The president looked dejected. "Darn."  
"But we have something to tell you." The two men looked serious. "It regards Porcelain Tiger...."  
  
---------------------  
  
  
"WHAT?! **AIIIIE!**"  
  
The shout echoed through the halls of the White House, catching the attention of the guided tour that was being led into the White House.  
  
"What was that?"  
"....The president. Don't worry, though. Must have swallowed another pretzel, perhaps." A nervous giggle came from the group as the tour guide motioned down the hall. "Anyways, down this hall, we have the Lincoln Bedroom...."  
  
--------------------  
  
The president stared blankly at the papers on his desk, rubbing his head. His eyes were wide with surprise and confusion.  
  
"I don't know how this could have happened, gentlemen!" He gave the two men a cold glare. "What do you mean Callous _destroyed_ my agent?!"  
"That's according to the FBI." The secretary looked grim. "It appears that the State Department and the FBI have been covering a trail of evidence that concludes that Callous was trying to find the Porcelain Tiger independently for several years so he could destroy it. We simply...played into his hands."  
"_Why_?"  
"…That bit is iffy, sir." The two men looked at each other nervously. "But it appears the FBI caught wind of whatever his plans were, and contacted the State Department on it. We…don't have enough information as yet, but it appears he may be put on a tribunal."  
  
Secretly, the two men knew full well what Callous was really up to, and had known since the FBI had alerted them. Informing the president of this, however, was out of the question.  
  
"But _why_ would he do this?" There was more confusion in the president's voice. "Granted, I know Democrats are satanic spawn….and gentlemen, this....that quote doesn't leave the room…"  
"Yes, Mr. President."  
"….Learned that lesson from the election……but…" The president began to pace. "I don't get it. Why destroy the Porcelain Tiger?"  
"We don't kno-"  
"And what are we going to do?" The president looked out the window. "How are we going to keep the media's nose out of the truth? We know that they'll do anything to discredit me."  
"But sir….Callous is a….."  
  
The vice president's voice faltered. He gave the secretary another look as the president stared blankly out the window.  
  
"Say something," he muttered.   
"All right." The secretary then raised his voice. "Teddy bears."  
  
Nothing happened. The secretary cleared his throat.  
  
"Lesbian sex orgy."  
"What?!" The president's head whipped around. "Where?!"  
"Um....what?"  
"You said something about an orgy."  
"No, I said that we caught Callous doing something."  
"An orgy?"  
"No..." The secretary looked irritated. "Callous was....well, let's put it at he was aiming for a job in the wrong way. We managed to uncover the evidence before all of it was lost in an explosion at his hideout."  
"Did it involve sex?"  
"NO...." The secretary lowered his voice. "It didn't....involve.....sex."  
"Then....whats wrong with getting a job?"  
"Um..." The two men looked at one another. "Callous....was planning to assassinate....a high ranking official in our government."  
"Oh, really?"  
"Yes, he-"  
"-was going to assassinate _me_, Mr. President." The vice president quickly interceded. "When we found out, we decided that it was in the best interest to take action before they.....well, killed me.....you know..."  
"....Yes, that.....would have been tragic." The president turned away towards the window. "Well, if you can get him into a tribunal, do it; if not, let him rot in prison. I will not allow traitors to this country, especially those who'd assassinate my vice president! I mean," He turned back, a look of fear on his face. "Good God! What _would_ I do without you, Dick?! You're my lifeline! If you went, I.....I don't know what I'd do.."  
"Probably something really stupid," the secretary muttered.  
"Well," the president sniffed. "Thank you for informing me. I'm glad that...you're safe. Now that that's taken care of, we can take out Hussein. Well.....dismissed....."  
  
With a nod, the two men bowed and quickly left the room. The vice president went out first, with the secretary following, closing the doors to the Oval Office behind him. Both let out exasperated sighs.  
  
"Well, that went over well."  
"Well, Don…" The two men began to walk down the hall. "You thought we were going to tell him the _truth_? You know as well as I do that he can't even handle getting out of bed without asking for directions to the bathroom."  
"Well, that's true, Dick." The secretary opened another door. "Then you agree with me that plausible deniability, in this case, was the way to go for him?"  
"Yes, but he's _always_ in denial." There was a bit of frustration in the vice president's voice. "I should have just run for president on my own. That bumbling idiot….I don't even think he was really listening to us at all until we mentioned the sexual orgy!"  
"Well, if you ask my opinion…." The two men went in. "I think I'd rather see him as president than an ultra-liberal female Hispanic college student. Or Callous, of course. At least we know that our man _sometimes_ listens to us."  



	15. Ok! THIS Is Really The End!

-------------  
  
  
  
"So?" There was a kick in the grass. "What did everyone say?"  
"Well," Calvin gave Hobbes a sulking look. "I went up for Show and Tell, and I started the story about my trip in the cool car, just like I remembered."  
"And?"  
"I never got to finish my story!" Calvin rolled his eyes. "Ms. Wormwood stopped me before I got to the part where we set BAD on fire and told me that I couldn't have possibly done all that! When I tried to explain that it all really happened, she sent me to the principal!" Calvin crossed his arms indignantly. "Can you believe that?! Me, a _national hero_, being sent to the principal for telling a true story! When I'm president of the world, I'll have her sent to a prison for slimy girls."  
"_President of the world?_" Hobbes rolled his eyes. "Hmm. Just when I thought we may have learned a lesson here…."  
"I learned a lesson!" Calvin jumped over another rock. "The lesson is that memory-erasing machines never work. That's why the aliens will fail when they try to make us their unwitting, mindless slaves."  
"….Right…." Hobbes rolled his eyes. "And you did return Mr. Bun to Susie, right?"  
"What other choice did I have?" Calvin grumbled. "It was either that or get grounded. I bet Susie thinks I took her stupid bunny, too."  
"Well, with your history together...."  
  
Hobbes went to say something else; however, a sound caught his attention. It was the sound of a car door opened from across the street. His head turned quickly to see what it was.  
  
"……Calvin!"  
"And then I'll-"  
"CALVIN!"  
  
Suddenly, Calvin was yanked off of the ground and pulled behind the tiger. With a shout, Calvin went to smack the animal.  
  
"HEY! What the-"  
"Stop." Hobbes' voice was low. "There's a black car."  
"_Another_ one?!" From his behind came a moan. "Geez, I thought we were done with B.A.D.!"  
  
The car door opened; as quick as he could, Hobbes took Calvin behind a bush. His eyes squinted at the small, trembling figure that came out. First, there was a look of confusion; then, a look of surprise.  
  
"...Hobbes?: Calvin looked up at the tiger. "You ok?"  
"….It….._can't_ be…..!!!!"  
  
Hobbes nearly gave a cry at the sight of the person coming across the street. He was old, at least in his sixties, much older looking than Callous or Peritwinkle. He was slightly hunched over, his thin white hair fully visible in the sun. He wore a plaid shirt and pants, and old shoes; he walked with a cane, and even then limped.  
  
"Oh....my......God....."  
  
Instantly, Hobbes was out of the bushes and running towards the man. With a surprised cry, Calvin fell down.  
  
"H-hey!!" He screambled up and ran after him. "Hobbes! What's goin-"  
"DR. BENTON!"  
  
The old man's head came up at the sound of his name. The minute he saw Hobbes, his face broke out into an expression of pure delight and relief. He opened his arms out as the tiger leapt out him.  
  
"Hobbes!" The tiger landed in his arms. "Oh, Hobbes! Thank goodness."  
"Dr. Benton!" Hobbes gave the old man a hug before he let himself down. "Wow, is it really you? I can't believe I forgot who you were!"  
"Its no problem, my dear friend. I thank my stars above that you are all right."   
"Huh?" Calvin's eyes widened. "Dr. Benton? The guy that made Hobbes?"  
"Yes....Calvin." Smiling, the doctor bent down and shook Calvin's hand. "Yes, you are Calvin, right?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Oh how wonderful." the doctor clasped his hand. "I'd like to thank you, young man, for helping to save Hobbes."  
"Thank me?" Calvin looked confused. "But Hobbes saved _me_."  
"But it was you who sustained him for all of these years, and that alone does not make me worthy of you, my child."  
"Uh...." Calvin shrugged. "Ok."   
"Truly, both of you." Dr. Benton let go of Calvin's hand. "I must apologize for not coming sooner, even just to warn you of the threat of Callous. It took me a long time to find where you were, especially with the risk of Callous finding me with all of his power. I long feared that B.A.D. would find a way to reprogram him. But it looks like the development of Hobbes' personality at such an early stage of when he was staying with me helped to bar such an event. Of course, that then presented the possibility that they could kill you. I feared the worst. But here you are, alive! And I am happy to see you again."  
"Well," Hobbes nodded, "So am I. It was a long time that I didn't have any memories."  
"Ah, it was so long ago when you escaped." The doctor nodded. "I apologize that I could not follow you. When you escaped, I tried to destroy as much of the evidence concerning how to create your breed of superwarriors as possible. All of the known copies that I had in my chambers were destroyed by my assistant during the escape, and he managed to keep it incognito by using one of the building fires you started to destroy any chance of creating another Porcelain Tiger."  
"Callous did try to duplicate your work with a rabbit, sir."  
"I know. Without me, and many of the other original scientists, though, he wouldn't have succeeded as well." Benton gave a nod. "Ah, we succeeded in preventing that much, but poor John, my poor assistant. He died of the burns he sustained from that attempt, sadly. I attended his funeral, but I then had to leave the country to avoid Callous and any attempt to disprove that I had 'died' in the fires. This is the first time in 17 years I have set foot on my native American soil."  
"Well," Calvin shook Benton's hand violently. "Callous is in jail and is REALLY badly beat up, so you can stay here forever with us!"  
"…Oh, but I wish I could." Benton's smile became saddened. "But I can't."  
"You can't?" Calvin looked confused. "Why not?"  
"Because, even now, I am still in such danger from anyone who wants to continue Callous' work - him, and others around the world. You, too, if I were to stay; someone would repeat Callous' attempts to give the president his killer…the one who, in truth, would really kill the president and change our way of life. I only managed to get here because Periwinkle used the utmost precaution returning me, and at this moment Callous' network, in his absence, is weakened enough so that I can at least see you once more without repercussion."   
"But Callous..."  
"Callous is not the only one." Benton's voice slightly quivered. "BAD's newest form will be up and running very soon, though. I'm sure of it. Within weeks, if not even days, depending on how organized the other terrorists are without their founder, and how many other Americans were involved in the scheme. There was always a thought that I was alive, rumors through inverted whispers, and if they found me, they would force me to duplicate my experiments. I am not a strong person, truly, I'm not. I would give in. And it would be over."  
  
  
_"You think _I_ am a terrible person, for what you concieve me capable of doing to you and your....friend." Callous' voice was low, yet it was almost mocking. "But the truth is, I am trying to help Porcelain Tiger...and you. Enemies. You'll make enemies you never dreamed of if you persist in resisting me, if you ever managed to escape."_  
  
  
Involuntarily, Calvin gave a shudder. Notcing this, Hobbes moved closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. There was a silence.  
  
"And so, I must be gone before his cronies catch wind of me. So….I may never see you again, Hobbes. You must know this now; do not expect to ever see me again. But as long as I am thought to be dead, there is not enough evidence or reason to probe further into reviving Porcelain Tiger as a government weapon. Without me, there may no initiative to continue pursuing the project, and….and you will be truly safe."  
  
There was another silence at this. Hobbes looked down, and wiped his eyes. Benton, noticing this, gave a nod.  
  
"So…you gotta go?" Calvin's face fell. "But it would be so cool for someone else who can understand Hobbes to be here…sometimes it can be annoying to be the only one blamed for what Hobbes does."  
"Oooh…" Rubbing his eyes again, Hobbes stuck his tongue out in retaliation. "So the truth comes out, eh…?"  
"Oh, why you…!!!"  
"Heh!" To both of their surprise, the old man started to laugh through his tearing. "Aah, you bicker like brothers. Yes, Hobbes, you are with the right person. You and your boy protector should be proud of your bond; it is stronger than anything that will try to break it. You will get through this. Never lose it, do you hear?"  
"Uh….." Calvin looked at Hobbes, unable to quite figure what the old man was saying. "Sure, I guess…"  
"Of course, doctor." Hobbes' voice, which was softer at the request, indicated to his creator that he understood. "You bet. Calvin and I are friends forever."  
"….Beautiful."  
  
There was another nod from Benton and he turned to leave. However, as he did, Hobbes suddenly jumped up and gave him a tight hug. Though at first alarmed, Benton returned the hug just as tightly. For a moment, it seemed as if he would not let go of the tiger, as if the memories of their time together were so wonderful that the doctor was willing to give his safety up at that moment to stay.  
  
"….Goodbye."  
  
Hobbes let go. With a smile, and several tears in his eyes, the doctor also let go and turned around. He walked away from the two, his form hunched down, and walked back to the black car. He got into the back.  
  
"….He's a nice guy." Calvin stared as the car doors slammed. "And…..that's a nice car."  
  
Hobbes looked down at Calvin. The boy watched intently as the car drove off, out of sight and out of mind, his thoughts obviously (or so Hobbes figured) on one day convincing his mom to get a black car just like that. It was for several moments that the gawking continued, even after the car was out of sight, and the person who had made it possible for Calvin and Hobbes to bond in the first place was gone, most likely forever.  
  
Nevertheless, Hobbes gave a smile.  
  
_Yes, Hobbes, you are with the right person._  
  
"So….." Finally, Calvin spoke again. "That guy's technically your dad?"  
"....Yeah."  
"Why didn't you go with him?" There was some confusion in the boy's voice. "For a moment, I thought you'd go with him…..you looked really upset when you hugged him."  
"I…." Hobbes looked over at the tree house. "I don't think I'd have been able to live away from you, to be honest. We're friends forever, you know. _Real_ friends."  
"….Yeah, I guess."  
  
Hobbes almost had to laugh as Calvin made an about face towards the wagon, which sat lazily near the trunk of the tree house's stump. Calvin would have never fully admitted it, especially in front of an adult, but he felt the same way.  
  
"So……" Calvin started to pull the wagon. "I guess....we'll be friends forever."  
"That's right." Hobbes trudged behind with a grin.  
"Ok…" Calvin began to walk along. "Well, don't expect me to bring you to my senior prom or anything like that. You'd be annoying and I'd look stupid."  
"Don't need any help from me."  
"What?" Calvin turned red.  
"You heard me. And besides which, why would you be afraid to look stupid?"  
"Because of the girls, of course! Girls are stupid and I don't want to be stupid like them. Because.....you're stupid...."  
"Oooooh…." Hobbes gave Calvin an amused look. "I think you're just scared that I'll take your dates."  
"WHAT?!" Calvin jumped. "EWWWWWWWW! SLIMY GIRLS!!!!!!!"  
"With boobs, no less!" Hobbes stuck his tongue out. "Those are in your future, without a doubt."  
"NOOOOOO!" Calvin gave the tiger a dirty look. "You're just being a dummy!"  
"Do I see……Susie?" Hobbes began to laugh. "I see Susie going to the prom with you."  
"I'd rather wear a paper bag over my face that go out with _her_!"  
"You'll probably still have to regardless." Hobbes stuck his tongue out. "Because your face will be so dirty from not washing it that you'll start having flower stems for hair follicles."  
"That's it!" Calvin swerved around, pointing his finger accusingly. "I see now. You just wanted to stay here because of Susie!"  
"Well…." Hobbes paused, then gave a wide grin. "I can't say she _didn't_ influence my decision."  
"DOOOOOH!!!"  
  
Calvin gave chase, but Hobbes was already running, laughing as he did. Within minutes, the two were playing a game of Calvinball, chasing each other and running around. Hobbes ran around with the Stick of Knowledge, while Calvin held the football in his arms, skipping as he circled a tree. Within the hour, they were in the good old red wagon, atop a large, steep hill a mile from the house.  
  
"I'm just going to cover my eyes now…."  
"Hi ho!" Calvin pushed down with a cry. "LET'S GO!!"  
  
It was the end of the mystery, and the beginning of a brand new adventure.  
  


****

THE END


End file.
